Has anyone kept it a secret?

[maggieO 33]

Good for you! I have no interest in going public with this either & that is my choice. I have 18 & 19 year old daughters, an 8 year old son, a daughter who turns 2 tomorrow, & another on the way. That right there is reason enough to have this surgery. I'm also converting to a plant based diet. There's no guarantees in life but if all goes well I'll enjoy a longer healthier life with my wife and children. It definitely beats the alternative!

That's a full house!!! Congrats on the new baby!!! That's awesome!

[Tiale 20]

Not wanting to tell your co-workers or your nosy sister in law is not the same as selling It Works Wraps and claiming your weight loss is because of the wraps. One is lying and deception and the other is personal privacy issue.
People are acting like by not telling you are advertising yourself as a personal trainer and a fitness guru.

You're right and I agree with you 100% because I have seen it on IG, I've followed someone who promoted herself as losing weight the old fashioned way and is insanely popular but she boasted that it was all changing her lifestyle through the natural way. She posted a pic of her tummy and someone pointed out "hey did you have surgery? She had no choice and responded yes I had gastric bypass" I think these people are giving others false hope. If you wanna be a fitness guru, then be honest about it, because yes your inspiring but in a false way. Like you said promoting for tea or it works wraps, when you know damn well that's not helped you. I'm not a secretive person, I just don't like to surround myself with bitter, negative people that have nothing better to do than talk about "ohhh so and so was as big as cow, but look at her now, it must be the drugs" I've been around negative Nancy's most of my life and I gotta admit being away from them is blissful. They'll always creep up but, that's not priority. I have a IG for personal and WLS, do I plan on exploiting myself for a profit honestly "hell no" I've watched and researched about ppl in wheelchairs doing WLS and could only find 1, so I was pretty stumped and I know that there are others that are looking for help and not getting it. Thank you for responding back, I see that you're very active and speak your mind! We need more people like you [emoji5]

[triplethreat 257]

My family knows- husband and 4 kids. My sister, my mom, and two friends. We recently had one of those slim-down contests at work and two teams approached me to be on their teams and I declined. Losing weight is hard and I don't want to give someone a sense of false hope. Lots of people ask me how I lost weight and after I tell them my dietary habits (which are pretty much like every other wls patient, low carb and high protein), most people announce they aren't disciplined enough. One person asked me outright if I'd had surgery; she's my wbff and I told her the truth. She hasn't told anyone. I may tell others eventually but for now this is it.

[Middus 491]

17 hours ago, triplethreat said:

My family knows- husband and 4 kids. My sister, my mom, and two friends. We recently had one of those slim-down contests at work and two teams approached me to be on their teams and I declined. Losing weight is hard and I don't want to give someone a sense of false hope. Lots of people ask me how I lost weight and after I tell them my dietary habits (which are pretty much like every other wls patient, low carb and high protein), most people announce they aren't disciplined enough. One person asked me outright if I'd had surgery; she's my wbff and I told her the truth. She hasn't told anyone. I may tell others eventually but for now this is it.

Yup. Same here. We have exercise challenges that my group always wins ( I usually amass btw 120-140k steps a week). Then a Weight loss part was introduced mid January. I humbly declined, especially because it included the winners giving food tips and tricks. It just wouldn't feel honest.

Edited March 31, 2017 by Middus

[amandatracy 2]

I have not had surgery yet but I have not told many people. My husband, my 2 best friends and a few family members is all who knows. I have not put it on social media and don't talk about it openly very often. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed, I just honestly don't want everybody's opinion. A lot of people think it's easy to just drop large amounts of weight so they pass judgement and I don't need that negativity so I just don't share with many people.

[Candygyrl 637]

Its not a "secret" but I only told my close family-- and a selected few friends... Otherwise I don't feel it necessary to discuss it with others.

[Clementine Sky 707]

I had the VSG in August of 2015, and to date the only ones who know about it (besides medical professionals who've treated me) are my husband and my parents. I'm not in the least bit abashed about having WLS, but I also don't feel the least bit obligated to reveal my personal health matters to anyone else. Some people benefit profoundly by being very open about their surgery, most often because they're receiving positive feedback - support, encouragement, nurturing accountability. Some have expressed on this forum that they intensely regret being open about it, most often because of negative feedback they received. They've written about family members and friends not discouraging, criticizing and second-guessing them; co-workers lacking discretion and crossing into personal boundaries by commenting on food choices or giving unsolicited advice and critique. And then there are those of us who simply aren't seeking feedback beyond what is given by doctors, and perhaps what's offered up in forums like this one.

People have noticed my weight loss, but they've also noticed that I now bike to work instead of drive, that I eat more nutritiously, that I don't drink (mainly because it impacts me much more than it used to) and other lifestyle modifications. When asked how I've lost the weight, I've told them it's by tracking what I eat on MyFitnessPal, and exercising as a habit. That's the truth. The main reason I had VSG was to help alleviate problems with PCOS and hopefully boost my fertility; it's an intimate and sensitive matter to me. It was perhaps easier for me to not be as bombarded with questions or curiosity because I lost weight at a relatively slow pace in comparison to others. I also didn't have to do a pre-op diet, or take any time off from work.

Anyone who wishes to keep their WLS private is perfectly entitled to, for whatever reason, and anyone who wishes to be open about it is perfectly entitled to, whatever their reason.

[pwrtp 41]

Initially, only my wife knew, but, once you start to lose a lot of weight in a relatively short amount of time people will (1) notice and (2) ask questions or ask for advice.
I really don't feel as though I'm helping anyone asking me for advice if I tell them I'm simply doing a fad diet. I'm not big on lying, and certainly not when it's going to send someone else down the (most likely) wrong path....so I decided to own it, wear it on my sleeve, and educate anyone who asks.
There's a cloud of negativity surrounding weight loss surgery, as though we've somehow "taken the easy way out", which couldn't be further from the truth. So I use it as a platform to help others who may have questions or concerns about wls in hopes that it can perhaps help others as it has helped me.
That being said, I don't wear a giant sign on my back that says I had surgery, but those closest to me who ask get the absolute truth.
I also believe when people around you know, it will motivate you more to succeed. If you're telling people that you're on a fad diet, then failing isn't "a bad thing" in their eyes. In fact, it's probably expected as it is with most other fad diets, and so you might be tempted more easily to eat things that you otherwise wouldn't if you are motivated to succeed. This isn't always the case with people who "hide it", but it's certainly something to consider.
In the end, it has to be your decision and you need to do what you're comfortable doing, but the longer we hide behind the fact that we've had surgery, the longer it will take for public acceptance, not to mention that when you're "hiding" it, you're limiting your resources in terms of recipes, information, etc. It's nice to not be afraid to pull my phone out in public and look at this site or search for bariatric recipes without fear someone will see me.

Well said. I kept it a secret until a week after I got back to work then people started asking questions. I found it liberating to share my story and have gotten much support. I don't know what they say behind my back but I don't care.

[Sleeveforme2017 144]

I'm keeping mine a secret except for close family and my boss and I told them to keep it a secret. Except my husband has a big mouth and told another parent ughhhh. People can be so judgmental I don't have time for it. My bff was prior to surgery so we don't discuss it. Some have notice my weight loss, I just told them I had to change eating habits do to hiatal hernia surgery.

[BackSpin81 350]

I has gastric sleeve surgery March 30, 2015 and have not told many people. Medical professionals know, my parents know, my aunt, 1 cousin, and 2 close friends. Most others do not know unless they have speculated. I lived across country when I had surgery and only came home to Boston once a year for Christmas. So this has kept my "secret" safe.

I am not ashamed of having surgery. However, I did not want to tell the world then run the risk of failing afterward. I didn't want others to watch everything that I eat with "no-no" eyes shaming me for having a drink, a cookie, or something they assumed I should not have. I did not want to be judged for doing well, or poorly, or for regaining any weight afterward.

My poor cousin had gastric bypass surgery in 2013, lost over 100 lbs, and toned his body and looked marvelous. As his marriage started to crumble and fail, he slowly gained weight then quickly gained some more. He is now much larger than he was before. It hurts to see how hard he worked to have his progress erased. His surgery and weight gain are no secret and has been the subject of chitter amongst family. And that is exactly what I do not want for myself.

As awful as it is, I must admit that my weight has become a complete OBSESSION for me. I truly do not want to be the cause of my own death. I do not want to be a size 2. I just want to be healthy. And I get there and stay there is my journey, and battle.

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[Shazam 517]

Being on a diet, having WLS, or having any type of surgery is your own business. If you feel the need to be "accountable" or need it private is up to the individual.

As for me, I have chose to not to advertise it. It's my business. They are a select few that know. And for good reason. It seems people begin to judge, or monitor your food and become the Food Police. Me personally, I do not need that.

As for accountability, the scale is it.

I have been a Band Vet. I've joined WW now. I am using the Band as a tool. Just as I am using WW as a tool.

[teacupnosaucer 445]

I'm not planning on advertising it, but I'm not going to keep it a "secret" necessarily, either. My family and husband know, and other girls who have had surgery know, and a couple close friends I can trust not to police my food or be assholes to me about it know.

Now, if a fellow obese person asks me how I'm losing weight, I may tell her in confidence because I want to help her out... after all it was my hairdresser telling me about HER surgery that set ME on this path in the first place!

But for people I can't trust to not be nosy opinionated turds, I plan on saying "I started a new exercise and healthy eating regimen"... which is 100% the truth, and anything else is not their business! I realize not being super open about my surgery means that the myth of weight loss being as simple and magical as calories in -> calories out continues on... but it's not my personal responsibility to shoulder the burden of correcting everyone I meet on that. The evidence about weight loss is all over the internet for anyone who cares to read it and acknowledge it.

But like @OutsideMatchInside said before, not telling people your personal medical history is not the same thing as using your surgery before and afters to sell weight watchers or it works wraps.

Luckily for me I lost 30lbs pre-surgery and got the sleeve, so my continuing weight loss might not actually be all that noticeable to most people, so I'm hoping to be relatively incognito.

We'll see how it goes today, this is my first day back to my daughter's dance class in a few weeks and I've lost about 20lbs. We'll see if any of the other dance moms have questions

[cakeface 4]

I did not keep it a secret. I tell people that ask me I needed help and I went and got it. Everyone is very supportive. Most know it's not the easy way out. They see what I'm going through. This is the most difficult thing I ever had to do, and I'm doing it. I will succeed without lying about it.

[Middus 491]

Most people on this Forum are Liars.. they refuse to use their real names.. [emoji14][emoji14]

You see how "not telling isn't the same thing as lying"

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[rrurydita 2]

I personally told people that were going to be supportive. Why would I tell someone that's just going to be a negative Nancy and throw things in my face and preach hypocritical things. I made sure the main ones knew, and the rest that I felt that were going to be negative stay out of it. I learnt the first time when I got my accident...who's going to support you and who wants to see you fail. Because sadly friends and family at times love you, but they also love it when you fail, so they can feel better about themselves. So I'm doing this surgery for me and not them....I want my life to prosper and be healthier!

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I'm having trouble getting approved bc my BMI is 37, but I have arthritis in my knees and also have back problems. Has anyone else had this problem. I have anthem Medicare insurance.