How to get husband back on board?

Please · March 9, 2017

On 2017-02-28 at 0:42 PM, lnaj59 said:

Long story short, I went to TJ with my husband for gastric sleeve surgery with Dr. Illan last May and ended up backing out. A lot of things happened that we weren't expecting. My room was not reserved at the hotel we had been told we were going to stay at that night, we felt like we had no idea what was going on and where we were being taken, they were blasting rap music with a lot of profanity (not at all something my husband would ever listen to, he's very conservative), and adding that to being out of the US for the first time it was just too much. I know our coordinator meant well and was just trying to relax us and act like being there was no big deal but I think it was maybe a little too relaxed for my husband to handle.

I still would have gone through with it because it was not as much of a big deal to me but he would not let us stay there. He was terrified and so angry with me that day.

I've regretted it ever since. He hasn't been any support like he said he would be if I didn't go through with it. He wants me to have it here in the states but that would more than double what I would pay to go to TJ and I'm really not sure I would experience any better of care. I've researched and researched my options for over a year now and I still feel like Dr. Illan is the best doctor for me to go to for this. I also know that some things have changed there and I'm positive we would have a better experience this time... I'd actually rather just go by myself! I cannot get him on board with this though. I NEED to do this for myself, for my children. I am so ready to get my life back! If I could go tomorrow, I would!

Any advice?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Maybe you need to take a friend or go alone, and leave him at home.Some people just can't handle the stress. He was likely scared and that's how he shows it. I'm going alone and my husbands staying home with the kids.

jkmen5 · March 9, 2017

I wish I could go with u because I surely would! I hate to think of this holding you back! I agree, can you find someone else to go with? Have u expressed these concerns and issues with him regarding his feelings? Letting him know it's not about him, but that u love and appreciate his concern and protective attitude but that u NEED this?