Anyone else afraid this is temporary?

[ryan_86 335]

So I'm 5 months out and about 9 pounds from my goal. It's all happened so fast, and I know that mentally I haven't changed - if I'm around a food I never could control myself with, I will eat some of it. A couple crackers, a little cheese, a french fry, etc. I try to stay away from those things. I don't buy them. But I work in an office where people are always bringing food in, there's always a full candy bowl on the file cabinet (that I ate took 2 pieces from this week after not taking any for 6 months), and I had to stay with family for a couple weeks this month (house fire - January was awesome!).

More so than at any time since my surgery, I feel like I'm depriving myself, and in the past that has always led to undoing good eating habits.

And all of that has me afraid that this new body is temporary, and given the "last resort" nature of surgery, that scares me very much. I wonder if I'm alone in that.

[erp 2,016]

I was more afraid surgery wouldn't work for me and I wouldn't lose rather than that I would gain it all back. I didn't lose as fast as you did so I had more time to adjust. I highly recommend seeing a therapist and joining a support group to work through your unresolved issues with food. There are just too many regain posts and cautionary tales on here to ignore. Thank you, I think its great that you made this post. I am more than certain that others do share the same fear that you do. The surgery did its part on the physical and now you have to do yours on the mental.

Edited February 4, 2017 by erp

[shan84non 7]

I'm only a few weeks out from surgery, nowhere near my goal but I think that if you can go your whole life without ever eating any "bad foods" again... Good for you, but for me, I know I'll eat some bad things, but I won't let it take over my life. I enjoy food, I love cooking, I love trying new things and I did this to get healthier to live longer for my kids, but I won't be me if I don't have a small love affair with food. I will learn to be a food lover who is capable of eating in moderation. I will always monitor my diet, exercise and weight... And I'll make changes as needed but I don't plan on denying myself of certain foods forever. I've made a physical change to help myself make a lifestyle change.

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[clc9 644]

Therapy.

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[anonmom 95]

You definitely should get into therapy to explore what is making you feel 'deprived' right now. Having a house fire is a huge loss, and you can't make that up to yourself with some pieces of free candy.< /p>

I have lots of issues surrounding food, but 'free' food is a particularly thorny issue for me. I thought we were poor growing up (we actually weren't, that was just my parents' mentality and their issues), so I always feel like wasting food is a sin. But I've learned to distinguish between needless waste (buying so much food at one time that it rots in the fridge, overloading my plate at the buffet so that there is tons left over, etc.) and just standing up for myself and not choosing to be a human garbage can when other people buy/bring/make too much food.

I used to be the girl who would go to the ice cream parlor and get a hand-packed pint instead of a cone, because it was like four times as much ice cream for only a few dollars more. And, of course, I'd tell myself I was going to eat one cone's worth and then put the rest in the freezer for three future treats. But, really, none ever made it into the freezer, or if a little did, I would finish that off later the same night.

So, if the candy at the office just happens to be your absolute favorite treat, then that can be something you let yourself have once a month or something. But if it is just some gross junk that you are drawn to due to carb addiction, you'd be better off telling yourself it is strictly off limits. Then you can choose a treat that you really want and really enjoy to have once a month or whatever.

Good luck!

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[LindaDianne 10]

You've got to remind yourself...this was just tool to help you become healthy...for the rest of your life...your in charge..the food has no control

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[blizair09 3,250]

This is why changing your relationship with food is the most important part of this journey. (And, consequently, why I think the six month pre-op diet program, done right and not just a a compliant check-off thing, is so important.)

I'd recommend working with a psychologist on your relationship with food. If you don't work on that, it will always cause issues for you.

Good luck!

[Ldyvenus 317]

I agree with @@blizair09 My isues post op are more apparent now that my body doesn't really care. I will be visiting both a psych and a dietitian. I also think some regain is expected and the surgery was never meant to get all of us to our perfect weight., just a healthier weight.

[Diva T 62]

I started therapy before my surgery and will continue with therapy now that I'm post op. My first appointment back is tomorrow and I will be 21 days post op. I didn't get to 307 #s without food/eating issues. The sleeve is only a tool. My mind and emotions are the real problem with food/eating. I want to keep this weight off the rest of my life not just for summer or a special occasion. I will be fighting/dealing with my weight for the rest of my life. I just want to be prepared for the fight!

[2ndSpring 350]

Thanks for posting this. I think you tapped into a fear most of us have.

You are about a month ahead of me. I can already see how those old bad habits are trying to sneak their way back in. Open the door a crack and there they are. I know I will have to be on my guard the rest of my life and I'm ok with that. And hey, it the zombie apocalypse ever happens, my old eating habits will help me survive!!!

My strategy is that every time I feel myself rationalizing or deluding myself (oh, its a holiday...oh, it's just this once...oh, i had a bad day...oh, its not fair, everyone else gets to eat), I say my mantra, "I don't do that anymore". It's been really empowering because it reminds me that this was my choice. It has stopped me in my tracks a few times.

[Diva T 62]

@ deeveg "I don't do that any more!" Very, very Good!!! Simple but powerful!

Thanks!

[Roxanabanana 1]

I had my surgery 10/12. I am scared to death of slipping back into my old ways, and all of this was for not. Now that I feel better, it is so hard not to go back to my normal life. Everyone thinks this is an easy way out, it is a far cry from it. I am so confused on what is the right way of doing things. I worry constantly if I eat this or that, is it the beginning to failure? I work two jobs and am often time exhausted between that and keeping up with my family. How do I balance all of this and exercise into the equation? How do I cook for them knowing that I can't eat that meal that I just made? For right know these are the things that I struggle with the most. How do all of you all deal with it?


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[Lisa O 52]

Yes. 3 1/2 years post, and the past 6 months have been stressful..buying a business, son getting married, life...ive gained 30 lbs. Back! I am refocusing on me now. Ive pulled out my surgery books, called my dr for support, gotten a list of vs support groups and hitting it hard! It is very easy to stray off course, but now I have to buckle down and look at the whts and,resolve or I will go back. So yes. It is a,fear, but while you think you solve a problem. Life happens and this is one more thing that I think will always have to come first. Dont get me wrong. Im terrified it will keep snowballing...so I came back to this forum too. Everyone here has the same story, different wording and we are here for each other! this forum got me to my 100 lb goal. And it will get me to my 30 lb one too!

[NWJill 119]

Ok you took two pieces of candy this week, so what? I bet 6 months ago you would have taken two pieces a day. You have to figure out what triggers you to grab the candy, a piece every once in awhile is fine IF you can control it to once in awhile. If you can't then take a longer path and try to not walk past the bowl. You can add your own Snacks like small packets of nuts, Protein Bars, bananas, etc. The thing I try to remind myself is that one meal, one treat, one day, etc did not get me here, it is because I let the one turn into many.


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[summerset 5,261]

On 5.2.2017 at 0:51 AM, clc9 said:

Therapy.

... is not a magic bullet. If it was there wouldn't be the need for WLS.

Yes, I'm afraid as well that this might be only temporary. However, I did quite well maintaining with the lap band before I got revision so I have hope that I will doing quite well with maintaining after MGB again.