Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Haters will always hate



Recommended Posts

I found very few true haters along the way. Turn the tables and imagine if you saw someone drop weight at an incredibly fast pace beyond the usual lore of 1-2 pounds per week. You would probably comment as well because our transformations are shocking. Everyday on here people post things like, "5 months out and 70 pounds gone forever!" That's not typical for most people and if no one knows you have an extra tool to attain rapid weight loss, why does this surprise you? In the end, I got my fair share of "you don't need to lose anymore" comments but it was never with any real malice, there was occasional jealously once or twice, but mostly just curiosity and true amazement at such rapid change.

Never thought of it from that perspective. Good point!

Sent from my SM-N920T using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My surgeon actually warned me about this. He said something similar to what erp mentioned. He said sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes concern or curiosity too. Also that in the US we have a difficult time understanding what someone with a 'healthy' bmi looks like, for a lot of reasons. So he stresses not to pay attention to those comments.

He uses himself as an example. He technically has an overweight bmi, even though he doesn't look like he needs to loose weight.

He tries to get his patients to focus on healthy blood work, active lifestyle and a weight that is good for them.

I wish you luck in dealing with more comments like that. Way to go on the changes, you've made!

I do like the well aren't you sweet. Think I may use it!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@erp -- somehow I missed this post earlier. You make SUCH a good point. Rapid weight loss can be a shocking sight to see for some people, and their responses could be very genuine and sincere.

My dad is fighting Stage 4 Lymphoma right now. He has lost a massive amount of weight in the past 5 or 6 months. (In fact, it was the weight loss without him trying to lose weight that finally convinced him that something might be wrong.) Sometimes, when people see rapid weight loss, they think that something is wrong (because something often is wrong). Comments like that may be investigating that conjecture without directly asking about it.

That's just something to think about it. We all (myself included) form opinions pretty quickly sometimes without putting ourselves in the metaphorical shoes of others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Weight Watchers says that you can expect a loss of 1 to 2 pounds a week on their eating plan, and possibly more if you exercise daily. That is 104 pounds in a year or more and that is what WW says. If someone who is truly overweight ask me I will encourage them to attend a WLS seminar. I may or may not tell them I have a lap band.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a private person and have not told anyone at work about my surgery. Last Friday a co-worker, who is also obese, took the liberty to comment on my weight loss. " You're just wasting away! You look good. But you don't need to loose anymore weight."

I was so shocked and really wasn't ready for a comment like that. All I could do was laugh it off.

Fast forward to today. A different co-worker said the same thing to me. " You're wasting away"

I just responded with "yeah your right."

All of my co-workers are used to seeing me at 260 pounds . I am now 185. I'm still obese and have no intention to self sabotage my progress because of anyone's ideal of what "Looks good enough."

My goal is to become healthy and maintain a "normal bmi." I'm sure others will begin to comment even more as time progresses.

I'm staying on plan and I'm ready for the haters.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Rather than say they are haters, I'd say they were more curious and possibly concerned...and yes...there's some gossiping in there as well. Just remember that when we are very large and loose alot of weight, it's common for those folks who know you as a heavier person to think you have/are losing too much weight. Not so. It's perception. I lost more than half my body weight and lots of people thought I should have stopped losing weight 50 lbs. or more ago.

Besides....our bodies will tell us when we've lost enough. I know mine did and now I'm working hard to maintain that loss. No one says squat about my size or weight loss anymore. After four year, everyone is used to seeing me at a normal size. Period.

I for one am happy that the questions have stopped and I am just who I am. It's my new normal is all and for that alone, I am so grateful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a private person and have not told anyone at work about my surgery. Last Friday a co-worker, who is also obese, took the liberty to comment on my weight loss. " You're just wasting away! You look good. But you don't need to loose anymore weight."

I was so shocked and really wasn't ready for a comment like that. All I could do was laugh it off.

Fast forward to today. A different co-worker said the same thing to me. " You're wasting away"

I just responded with "yeah your right."

All of my co-workers are used to seeing me at 260 pounds . I am now 185. I'm still obese and have no intention to self sabotage my progress because of anyone's ideal of what "Looks good enough."

My goal is to become healthy and maintain a "normal bmi." I'm sure others will begin to comment even more as time progresses.

I'm staying on plan and I'm ready for the haters.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Rather than say they are haters, I'd say they were more curious and possibly concerned...and yes...there's some gossiping in there as well. Just remember that when we are very large and loose alot of weight, it's common for those folks who know you as a heavier person to think you have/are losing too much weight. Not so. It's perception. I lost more than half my body weight and lots of people thought I should have stopped losing weight 50 lbs. or more ago.

Besides....our bodies will tell us when we've lost enough. I know mine did and now I'm working hard to maintain that loss. No one says squat about my size or weight loss anymore. After four year, everyone is used to seeing me at a normal size. Period.

I for one am happy that the questions have stopped and I am just who I am. It's my new normal is all and for that alone, I am so grateful.

I will keep that in mind for the future. Thanks.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Kaylamh Your way is the way I've handled my WLS/telling people. I've not gone full-on FB public with it, but the people I interact with locally know. I've been very open with them, and I've been relentlessly positive about the whole thing. People find it VERY hard to say 'oh, why would you do something like that' or make any negative comment when I tell them that I did it to make my health and life better.

I've (80 lbs later) gotten a couple of inquiries about how much more I plan to lose, with 'you look great now' attached, but I just smile and say 'about 30 more, and then I'll see how I look/feel'. I think sometimes people feel compelled to say something like 'you don't need to lose anymore' as a way of being supportive and praising you for you progress.

I truly have not had ANY negative comments...I've got some really great people in my life :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since about a week before my surgery, I began telling everyone, EVERYone, that I was having WLS. So far, no haters. And if they do surface...oh well. I've got bigger problems to deal with. Like shopping for new clothes! :-) Seriously though, once I reached the 75 lb weight loss mark, I even went on Facebook and posted before and after pics and announced to the whole 'world' what I had done and to my surprise, got nothing but support and "Wow, you look great!" And even a few curious questions about how they could do it. I'm over 50 years old, I aint got time to deal with haters! Life's too short for that mess! If people cant be supportive, then they can watch my 'slimmer' backside as it walks away!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a few years out but I didn't hide it from anyone. I told my loved ones and coworkers without hesitation, I'm a very open person and trying to cover up why I would be melting away wasn't gonna work for me. I was surprised at how supportive everyone was (except a few) and how many had questions because they were either curious or wanted information for themselves or someone they knew. I felt like my honesty would be a blessing for someone and it turns out it was a blessing for 8 others who had battled their weight since they could remember.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since about a week before my surgery, I began telling everyone, EVERYone, that I was having WLS. So far, no haters. And if they do surface...oh well. I've got bigger problems to deal with. Like shopping for new clothes! :-) Seriously though, once I reached the 75 lb weight loss mark, I even went on Facebook and posted before and after pics and announced to the whole 'world' what I had done and to my surprise, got nothing but support and "Wow, you look great!" And even a few curious questions about how they could do it. I'm over 50 years old, I aint got time to deal with haters! Life's too short for that mess! If people cant be supportive, then they can watch my 'slimmer' backside as it walks away!

Good for you! I have told anyone and everyone about all facets of my journey -- including the surgery -- from the very beginning. And I have not had one remotely off-color thing said (at least to my face). And I pity the person who ever would say anything like that. They'd have a confrontation on their hands that they wouldn't soon forget!! To lose nearly 160 pounds, surgery or not, is a pretty impressive feat. Someone would have to be pretty ignorant to disparage such hard work and commitment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Tell them you are using www.bistromd.com foods if you don't want them to know. You can actually lose about 5-8 lbs a month eating their foods. I used them before just to get us through busy times at work (my hub and I work 7 days a week). They are super healthy, balanced, real food. I am just suggesting if you want to keep on the down low (what I am doing too). I lost 80 on my own and just had vsg last week. I am on the 8th day today and can't wait to move on a bit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell them you are using www.bistromd.com foods if you don't want them to know. You can actually lose about 5-8 lbs a month eating their foods. I used them before just to get us through busy times at work (my hub and I work 7 days a week). They are super healthy, balanced, real food. I am just suggesting if you want to keep on the down low (what I am doing too). I lost 80 on my own and just had vsg last week. I am on the 8th day today and can't wait to move on a bit.

Thanks for the advice. I will look into that. Your progress before your VSG is awesome. You will surely progress even better now that you have your tool. I would love to hear more about your journey as you go forward. Happy New Year and Happy New You. ????

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to amend one thing: I haven't told anyone (other than my immediate family). One caveat: I've told all physicians I see. I figure it's private & I believe they need to know.

Edited by Postop

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to amend one thing: I haven't told anyone (other than my immediate family). One caveat: I've told all physicians I see. I figure it's private & I believe they need to know.

I am exactly the same way. It's important to tell my other physicians so they can take it in consideration when prescribing meds and keep up with my over all health. My husband and my parents are the only others that know.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Edited by Entrise

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can see how those type of comments may seem harsh. But, in my opinion, I don't think they meant to be mean. I've had a lot of people say things like this. One lady, who works in another department of the building I work in, said "You better stop or you're going to disappear!" I believe she was just being sarcastic. Some people have a hard time giving straightforward compliments. My guess is, it's because they have a hard time receiving them. So since these people possibly have a hard time receiving compliments, it's probably in their nature to give you a compliment in a sarcastic manner. Also, another thought... Since we are losing so quickly, to them, it probably seems like we are "wasting away". I went from a size XXL to a Large in shirts, in just 4 months. Honestly, that is a huge change.

I'm not saying you shouldn't feel insulted, because you are completely justified in how you feel, since what they said doesn't really sound like a normal compliment.

Congratulations on your weight loss! Proud of you! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×