Body image and sex

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@theantichick, hey, that's in the general realm of how Sara Blakely, the Spanx woman, got started. Some "LOL," huh?

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Just like I said on the first page. No one that responded to this thread has been out here dating in the past 2 years.

With the internet people have infinite choices when it comes to dating. It is competitive and brutal.

All this kumbaya pat on the back crap from people that have been married since the 80s or 90s is useless. It is a completely different world.

Well I have been dating the past couple of years, five, three pre-surgery and 2 post...and the POST has been significantly better. As I lost weight, my confidence increased (and confidence is the most important thing you bring to the bedroom.

I am not happy with the loose skin, but it's so much better than the alternative. It is so much more fun to see what is going on "down there" and I can do things and get to places I could not before.

But I realize I'm a guy, and my sex doesn't have the same body image issues as women. That's just reality.

May I suggest that you will probably be dating guys in their 40's. 90% will have experienced childbirth and the physical changes to their spouses body. Gravity wins, and only those who are porn addicts don't realize it (run, don't walk, from anyone who is ever critical...just saying).

[Jess55 97]

I have this problem too. I hate my body now where I am. But I honestly don't think I'll like my body anymore after I lose weight. At least enough to feel comfortable with someone. I'd probably have to be with them for a long while first. I would love to get plastic surgery post op but I know I don't have money for that, short of winning the lotto and that's not going to happen.

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[scipiobabe 24]

OMG LOL

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[larry971 279]

I have this problem too. I hate my body now where I am. But I honestly don't think I'll like my body anymore after I lose weight. At least enough to feel comfortable with someone. I'd probably have to be with them for a long while first. I would love to get plastic surgery post op but I know I don't have money for that, short of winning the lotto and that's not going to happen.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

LOL... They should add a dating site to this forum... At least you would be dating someone who understands what you are and have been through. I'm sure most of you are beautiful inside and out.

Sent from Larry's S7

[highfunctioningfatman 2,675]

Just like I said on the first page. No one that responded to this thread has been out here dating in the past 2 years.

With the internet people have infinite choices when it comes to dating. It is competitive and brutal.

All this kumbaya pat on the back crap from people that have been married since the 80s or 90s is useless. It is a completely different world.

Well I have been dating the past couple of years, five, three pre-surgery and 2 post...and the POST has been significantly better. As I lost weight, my confidence increased (and confidence is the most important thing you bring to the bedroom.

I am not happy with the loose skin, but it's so much better than the alternative. It is so much more fun to see what is going on "down there" and I can do things and get to places I could not before.

But I realize I'm a guy, and my sex doesn't have the same body image issues as women. That's just reality.

May I suggest that you will probably be dating guys in their 40's. 90% will have experienced childbirth and the physical changes to their spouses body. Gravity wins, and only those who are porn addicts don't realize it (run, don't walk, from anyone who is ever critical...just saying).

@@OKCPirate

I agree that with the weight loss it has opened up more options in the bedroom. I've gained a full 2.5 inches of USABLE "confidence". If the fat around the pubic bone would go away I would actually be pretty decent!

I do have to disagree with you on her being stuck with dating guys in their 40's. @@Dashofpixiedust8 is quite cutell and she has a smile that matches her personality. If I remember correctly she is 30. I could easily see her not having to "settle" (my words not yours). I believe that she will be just fine but I also understand her body issues. I truly believe that with a little bit of lingerie and her personality that she will have no problem when the time comes for sex.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@

He was talking to me. I have been dating men in their 40s for the past 20 years. My preference has always been a silver fox, so 40 and up. Dating someone in their 40s isn't settling, most women want an established man.

Even though I mainly get approached now by men in their 20s.

Men and how they feel about me aren't the issue. It is my own person issue and comfort level. I always feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall with this topic. No one gets it.

Edited January 9, 2017 by OutsideMatchInside

[highfunctioningfatman 2,675]

@@OutsideMatchInside

My bad!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@ - bad phrasing on my part. I hope no one was "settling" with me.

@@OutsideMatchInside - yeah, baby, yeah..."silver fox" I like it.

[larry971 279]

@

He was talking to me. I have been dating men in their 40s for the past 20 years. My preference has always been a silver fox, so 40 and up. Dating someone in their 40s isn't settling, most women want an established man.

Even though I mainly get approached now by men in their 20s.

Men and how they feel about me aren't the issue. It is my own person issue and comfort level. I always feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall with this topic. No one gets it.

OutsideMatchInside, I wish I could help. But women run in the other direction when I come along...so I don't know the feeling. I definitely don't have 20 somethings interested and I wouldn't be interested most likely myself...I'm 45...and I want someone who is somewhat close to my stage in life... There does need to be some physical attraction, but I'm pretty happy with someone who likes being with me.

Sent from Larry's S7

[pvechiola 195]

@@larry971

All of my friends feel like I should just be happy to be pretty, in good healthy and not look my age. So they don't understand my issues. So I just stopped talking to them about it.

I can understand. I get the "I feel bad because you can't eat all this stuff" constantly. I'm like I am happy with my decision...quit feeling bad, and let it go. I don't have the beautiful problem lol...or handsome....but I feel better and can do tons more than I could even 6 months ago.

Sent from Larry's S7

That's all you need to worry about take care of you.

[larry971 279]

@@larry971

All of my friends feel like I should just be happy to be pretty, in good healthy and not look my age. So they don't understand my issues. So I just stopped talking to them about it.

I can understand. I get the "I feel bad because you can't eat all this stuff" constantly. I'm like I am happy with my decision...quit feeling bad, and let it go. I don't have the beautiful problem lol...or handsome....but I feel better and can do tons more than I could even 6 months ago.

Sent from Larry's S7

That's all you need to worry about take care of you.

We would live in a sad and unhappy world if all we worried about was ourselves...Again always treat others as you would want to be treated. I can live with that.

Sent from Larry's S7

[Marissa37 54]

I just wanna say if you think your beautiful you are beautiful. I love myself I think Im super sexy at 286 pounds I just had cancer my bra size is 38G and I had to get a radical mastectomy so basically im missing one boob and bald. I have sex with my husband 3 times a week he thinks Im super sexy. People tell me Im lucky to have him I say its not luck when I was dating 17 years ago I knew I wanted someone who would love me for me me. Most guys at that time loved me for my body I was 140 then. When I met my husband we fell in love immediately I didnt compromise my standards. Moral of the story love yourself I love my body and every dimple so when i go out into the world bald and one boob missing guys find me attractive because I know Im attractive. Change your mindset fall in love with yourself then God then all else will follow. Good Luck TMI yeah my bad lol

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Hi Dub and all the rest. At least all of you are younger, yeah even you Dub, I AM geriatric aged (72) and haven't had my surgery yet. Some of your skin if you've lost slow enough and are young enough will snap back. At my age, after having 3 children and being obese most of my life I will end up looking like a shar pei. I figure better a live shar pei than laying fat and dead in my casket. Honey I have swung from a few chandeliers in my time and although widowed now I was married 44 years and Mr kakat was always smiling in bed. Let me share a story from my recent life. My PCP, the impertinent elf, said to me
"Are you still sexually active?"
I looked him right in the eye and said "NO but I live in hope!"
Betcha he won't ask me that again. News Flash: your generation didn't invent sex, it's been around since time started. I always say::Sounds funny Looks funny But oh so much fun to do!

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[GreenTealael 24,856]

So this may be tmi but my doctor pointed something out to me the other day and I wondered if anyone else had this issue.
Even though I'm not anywhere close to goal I have a bunch of hanging skin since I've lost 200 lbs. I just turned 30 and just started dating again. I don't feel comfortable being naked with someone because I feel disgusting.
My doctor pointed out I was fine and didn't care about how my body looked when I was much heavier.
It really made me stop and think. I don't know why I was more okay being naked when I was heavier than I do now.
The only thing I can think of is that I didn't care at all what I looked like before and now I do. I wear make up and I dress nice now.
I don't know how to become comfortable enough with my new body and hanging skin to be intimate with someone.


I suggest kinky, naughty, strappy, complicated Lingerie
[emoji41]