Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I don't get it.



Recommended Posts

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

Basically. I wanted to lose weight so bad, I have basically dedicated my entire life for the past 18 months to it.

I think for me, the scare I had with my heart was enough to really push me to take it seriously. I don't think that everyone has that kind of traumatic experience to push them to health.

I'm glad I had my surgery when I did and I was able to get insurance to pay for it.

I really feel that since surgery has become fast and easy for surgeons and is a huge money maker, that so many people that don't really qualify for surgery are having surgery. Eventually this is going to skew the results long term in a big way as a lot of people are going to be failures (yes I am using failure, because it applies), and make surgery not seem like the great cure that it really is. All these new people that never hit goal or get anywhere close to it and start regaining before 12 months are going to ruin the stats and make it harder for the people that come after that. Luckily a lot of them are going to Mexico so hopefully they won't count in the stats.

I'm not even going to start on all the anorexics that are going to Mexico and posting here, that is another tragedy that needs it's own thread.

Crazy right? Yet we have a full contingent of people who think that "jumping through the hoops" required by their insurance companies is standing in the way of weight loss progress... IMO, if you're morbidly obese you didn't get that way is 6 months. Part of successful weight loss is LEARNING that you can't always get everything 30 seconds before after you decide you want it...so just STFU and do your pre op program. Who knows, if you put in some actual effort in, the 6 months of education might even do you some good.

Off topic NWLV! We are on vacation at Disneyland it's 66 degrees here (and snowing at home). I walked over 6 miles yesterday and 4 miles (so far) today. I was in a wheelchair lest visit.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you find others that bother you, you should quit reading it. I'd hate to know you in real life. You must not like yourself and find places like this to bully and be nasty. Move on.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I really think you're getting the wrong impression here. Like I mentioned before, I was snappy with one person. That does not make me a bully. Don't assume that you can judge my character by my post.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not offended by your post- you certainly have a right to your frustration. As a heads-up though, I am one of those people that didn't follow all of the rules post-op (after the 6-week point- during the first 6 weeks I was an angel), because I have a medical background and I am fully aware of what will hurt me as opposed to what will just make it hard to lose weight. Every surgeon has different guidelines, so there is nothing wrong with getting opinion from others when there is a documented difference in what surgeon's suggest. Some surgeons still tell you not to use a straw, and yet my surgeon took the time to explain to me why (because some people end up with gas that makes them uncomfortable) and knowing this, using a straw was the only way I got in enough fluids the first few weeks. Many surgeons, in fact almost all, still say you can't drink with your meals. This is not a medically required rule, but rather a guideline that was set because they don't want you to wash the food out of your stomach faster, feel full for a shorter amount of time, and then eat more. A lot of surgeons say no carbonation ever, and yet the origin of this rule is because after the first few weeks (before that the carbonation can irritate your stomach), if people had been weaned off of carbonation, there was a good chance they had eliminated empty calories from non-diet soda. Carbonation won't hurt you after you're healed, but it certainly won't help your diet and teaching it as a "rule" is designed for the benefit of weight loss, not actual immediate health effects (yes it's bad for you, but no it won't kill you right this minute).

Despite their belief to the contrary, surgeons are not actually God, and not all of their directions should be taken as the bible- many yes, but certainly not all. When you are being reasonable in your question (it's 2 months out, can I have a few bites of a burger?- YES, you can), that's sort of the point that forums exist. The idea is to be supportive, not to be holier than thou because you were perfect on the diet and someone else wasn't. I have been within 3 pounds of my goal weight for two years, and at or below goal for about 20 months, and guess what...sometimes I eat crap and I have done so the entire time I have been sleeved. Some people do well with strict rules, and others do not, but when your stomach has healed, you are not physically hurting it by eating crap, you're just hurting your chance of ever being healthy.

I had a granola bar for Breakfast today, goldfish for lunch, and 1/4 of a lean cuisine for dinner. I also had 4 SF Red Bulls, and about 6 cans of diet pepsi. Yesterday I hadn't slept for 40 hours and I had a cookie for dinner. It was good. I did not die or wake up fat, although I am 100% sure my surgeon would not be remotely pleased.

Life is for the living and for the imperfect, and online forums can be a place to knock others down or pick them back up. Every time you make a post you get to decide what kind of person you want to be, to a type of person who may be just like you...scared, alone, sad, and very much in need of a bit of grace. I read plenty of posts where I role my eyes and think the person is an idiot...I then hit the little "x" and move on.

I think it is awesome that you have been so successful and I completely appreciate your right to your frustration, but ultimately, it's not your problem that other people break the rules, so why waste your energy caring? Either click the little "x", grumble about how stupid people are, and move on, or take a little bit of time to provide constructive (key word there) guidance in a way that will not further the hurt and isolation that they already feel. One day you won't be perfect and someone will be kind to you... and it will make all the difference.

Beautifully said..I couldn't agree more.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you find others that bother you, you should quit reading it. I'd hate to know you in real life. You must not like yourself and find places like this to bully and be nasty. Move on.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This is the rants & raves section where people come to, ya know, rant & rave,

Aw heck, let me try to phrase this in language this forum's users might better understand:

"You should try to be more understanding because someday you might be pissed off abs need somewhere to let off steam."

If you can't stand the heat - stay outta the kitchen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rant and rave about yourself! When you are perfect come let us know.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Well aren't you a sassy one. You're kind of being a bully. Just so you know.

Edited by Xombae

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like I've stated in other posts... These surgeries help change whats on the outside, but if you are repeatedly irritated by others perhaps the inside could use some attention.

Just a thought.............

Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

....It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,

Everywhere you go...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Question for the OP. You stated that food addiction is just an excuse and you don't have one. You're adamant that you don't have an issue with food. So how did you become obese and why couldn't you lose weight without WLS.? I heard this in my support group too many times to count and in most cases it basically came down to total denial of where the problem lies. Just curious why you feel you couldn't just eat smaller portions of healthy food and go though the program of pre and postop meal plans to lose weight without surgical intervention?

And forgive me if you already addressed this because I didn't read every single post in this thread. Your statements were just something that stuck out to me since I'd heard them so many times before. Just curious if there is an underlying metabolic disorder or other disease that surgery was able correct, allowing you to lose weight you wouldn't normally be able to.

Edited by Dairymary

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Life is for the living and for the imperfect, and online forums can be a place to knock others down or pick them back up. Every time you make a post you get to decide what kind of person you want to be, to a type of person who may be just like you...scared, alone, sad, and very much in need of a bit of grace. I read plenty of posts where I role my eyes and think the person is an idiot...I then hit the little "x" and move on.

Your post is worth a full quote but I hate full quotes of long posts so I chose this paragraph.

One of the best posts I've ever read on here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

And you still needed surgery to lose weight?? Can't believe it!! That sure comes as a surprise after reading these lines.

(or rather not coming as a surprise when considering how many users on here are sitting on the high horse)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But sometimes *I'm* the one who needs to step back, reevaluate my purpose for being here. Why do I post? is it to offer support and advice? Or is it to be a holier-than-thou snark queen who would rather be right than be helpful, constructive, and encouraging. You can absolutely disagree with someone and warn them against idiocy, but it's important to do it in a constructive way. If it ends up with cheap quips and insult, then be honest with yourself about why you're posting. If you can't contribute in a way that will be helpful, then keep scrolling. Because those who agree with you (aka me and many others) totally get your frustration, but all the new folks don't, and get intimidated, resentful, and end up refusing to accept any legit help/advice from us in the future.

Another post worth a full quote.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is the rants & raves section where people come to, ya know, rant & rave,

I want a dime for every time I'm reading this. And then another dime for when I see that the people who wrote it get offended because someone didn't agree with their precious opinion. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×