Pet peeve: extra skin.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@mariernest

If you have it done in the US and multiple places on your body $20,000-40,000.

[Tyani 117]

I have been on this forum for about a year and a half. I have seen so many posts of people worrying about excess skin after weight loss. I find this to be incredibly trite and shallow, a roadblock thrown up in the mind to justify the subconscious reasons why we put on and hold the weight to begin with.

First of all, there are of course permanent consequences for getting so big that your skin has to stretch to be twice the size it would be if we were normal weight. It doesn't go back to a state in which it was as if we never were overweight. And so what? What is often unspoken in these forums is that a very overweight person worrying about how they are going to look if they lose weight because of sagging skin, is silly in a society in which obesity is considered ugly to begin with.

More importantly, most of us have the surgery because our bodies and lives were becoming unmanageable due to excess weight, not to look better at speed dating.

For those who are asking the question I have seen posted on this forum a million times, no your skin will not go back to being how it was before your weight gain. There is no cream, no wrap, no swanky magic that's going to make it be as if you were never overweight. The only real option for getting rid of excess skin if you are very overweight when you start, is plastic surgery.

And that comes with its own price. I am not knocking people who choose to have that, I might even choose that eventually, as vanity is one of my flaws. That said, plastic surgery is very very serious, and fairly savage. And still, your body cannot look like it would have if you had never put on weight. They will be scars. Big ones. Surgery of any kind is a serious injury to the body.

The point I am trying to make is that if you are considering having weight-loss surgery to save your life, stop worrying about your skin. Worry about the inner conditions that have led you to the point where this is necessary. Focus instead on changing your behaviors. Focus instead on health, not looks. We have such a distorted view of bodies in this country. Body diversity is beautiful! Stop thinking that you have to look a certain way. Be healthy. Be you.

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Thank you very well said and so on point because I believe we all mentioned or had worry about the skin, but I made up in my mind that's not my worry. Getting rid of obesity is, getting rid of high blood is and diabetes and the knee pain. I Thank you

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[mariernest 32]

Ouch

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[LittleBill 2,231]

I have been on this forum for about a year and a half. I have seen so many posts of people worrying about excess skin after weight loss. I find this to be incredibly trite and shallow, a roadblock thrown up in the mind to justify the subconscious reasons why we put on and hold the weight to begin with.

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I've not been here a month yet, and I have seen people whining about everything that can be whined about. Some of the complaints I have read have been justified. I have no trouble at all feeling for the people who experienced serious complications from the surgery, for example. Conversely, I have no time for the "I can't eat what I want on Day 5" crowd.

Complaining is human nature. For example, you are complaining about people complaining. I am not blaming you, just pointing that out. How much credence we give those complaints lies with us, not with them. We can choose to ignore the trivial and attend to those who have valid issues. We cannot force the world to conform to our wishes. That is the path to fanaticism and depression. We can, however, adapt to what is around us, and chose those things which we allow to affect us.

As for skin loose or otherwise, I just keep repeating to myself - I don't look good naked anymore.

[Christina.Rose 287]

Wow. How supportive and welcoming. I am DEFINITELY concerned about the extra skin possibility. Im in my 30s and dont want to go from a cow to a deflated elephant. To call people stupid and whiny for daring to care if their self esteem and possible depression or living misery of feeling ugly and abnormal will get better or potentially worse is judgemental and none of your business. Mental health is a part of being healthy too and if you say you didn't care about what you would end up looking like after surgery and you were only doing it to get rid of....diabetes/apnea/joint pain blah blah etc, then you have to be lying. What is with all the Fatty divas on this site? This site is supposed to be here for questions, concerns, support, not being a jerk and complaining about peoples personal issues or struggles. Guess what. You were fat just like everyone else. It doesn't make you a leader or rock star because you got cut up before other people did.

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[Aggiemae 739]

Why is it that there is always one person who reads things into the original post that aren't there and then viciously slams the poster whit their own self righteous rant?

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[LittleBill 2,231]

Why is it that there is always one person who reads things into the original post that aren't there and then viciously slams the poster whit their own self righteous rant?

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This is not an unusual phenomenon. Between lack of nuance in the written word and the natural bias everyone has, it is not hard to misconstrue a post. When you add in personal agendas, PWD disorder (posting while drinking) and a host of other issues, there are often more inaccurate responses than accurate ones in some cases. I do not say that is the case here, because it might be my own bias making assumptions. But it is an observable phenomenon on any Internet forum.

[Babbs 14,680]

Wow. How supportive and welcoming. I am DEFINITELY concerned about the extra skin possibility. Im in my 30s and dont want to go from a cow to a deflated elephant. To call people stupid and whiny for daring to care if their self esteem and possible depression or living misery of feeling ugly and abnormal will get better or potentially worse is judgemental and none of your business. Mental health is a part of being healthy too and if you say you didn't care about what you would end up looking like after surgery and you were only doing it to get rid of....diabetes/apnea/joint pain blah blah etc, then you have to be lying. What is with all the Fatty divas on this site? This site is supposed to be here for questions, concerns, support, not being a jerk and complaining about peoples personal issues or struggles. Guess what. You were fat just like everyone else. It doesn't make you a leader or rock star because you got cut up before other people did.

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You seem nice.

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@mariernest

It depends on the city you live in. I live in Wisconsin and had my brachioplasty done in July. The cost was 5950.00 and I went home the same day.

In January, I am having a full abdominalplasty, breast lift with augmentation. Two nights in the hospital (my choice) and the cost is 16,800.00. The two nights in the hospital will cost 500.00 per night and that is included in the price. I am choosing to do that to take the scary part off my husband.

I have seen costs in larger cities go way up in price. My surgeon is double board certified and am very happy with her.

I am now wondering what it will cost to do a neck lift. I would see her partner for that and I am not ready to even really think about it yet. I want to get through this big surgery first.

[Djmohr 6,965]

Wow. How supportive and welcoming. I am DEFINITELY concerned about the extra skin possibility. Im in my 30s and dont want to go from a cow to a deflated elephant. To call people stupid and whiny for daring to care if their self esteem and possible depression or living misery of feeling ugly and abnormal will get better or potentially worse is judgemental and none of your business. Mental health is a part of being healthy too and if you say you didn't care about what you would end up looking like after surgery and you were only doing it to get rid of....diabetes/apnea/joint pain blah blah etc, then you have to be lying. What is with all the Fatty divas on this site? This site is supposed to be here for questions, concerns, support, not being a jerk and complaining about peoples personal issues or struggles. Guess what. You were fat just like everyone else. It doesn't make you a leader or rock star because you got cut up before other people did.

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I can honestly say that when i had WLS it was 100% because of my health. My kidneys were failing and I was headed for dialysis and possibly a transplant down the road.

My nephrologist suggested WLS knowing that I had been trying to lose weight on my own for years. I was also 51 when I had my surgery and the concern was losing and keeping it off to give my kidneys a break.

Never once did it occur to me that I would lose all of my excess weight nor did i care even a little about what i would look like after.

Not until the 3 month mark did it even occur to me that I would care. Once the fat was gone, I started to feel fantastic. My kidney function was better, no more diabetes, high blood pressure, severe GERD, sleep apnea. My knees and feet no longer hurt. I could walk for miles and miles.....after only about 3 months!

What people dont realize is how that extra skin makes a person feel. The possibility of looking as good as you feel finally begins to hit you. (It takes a while because your brain needs time to catch up with your body)

You are finally at goal but now the extra skin is pulling on you and it is ugly so plastics then enters your head.

I get it you are 30, you probably do not have the health issues many other morbidly obese patients have so you can not relate. And i totally understand your concern about loose skin because I am living it and would not want to be as young as you are and know that it will happen.

But, all that being said. I NEVER EVER thought about having WLS for any other reason than my health issues. Getting thin and now caring about how I look came after i realized that I could lose all my weight and not only be healthier but look halfway decent too.

Please dont assume that everyone who has had WLS is doing it for non health reasons. It simply is not true.

[Christina.Rose 287]

I think its horrible when people...like me....go on this site for support and information on experiences and read BS talking about how their concerns are annoying or stupid to some other self righteous person. This isn't Facebook this is a WLS forum for information and "fellowship" for the process. Not to make others feel worse about themselves. Some people come on here because they DONT get support at home. To be ridiculed by someone who just happened to have surgery first is wrong. And I am nice, but I call it like I see it. Nobody on here should be putting down anybody's questions and making them self conscious. Everyone here has a VALID struggle and we, you, everyone here is here to get information and FEEL BETTER about themselves.

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[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Christina.Rose

Did you read your original post where you called people liars?

Pot/Kettle......just saying.

[mariernest 32]

. I am k

I am old and. Want to get older so need to get over apnea diabetes high blood pressure etc But I also want to be comfortable and throw away the spandex if possible and look nice if nothing but for the funerals

Director, (dated him in high school ❤️) so though age makes us wiser but not less vain, some might call that pride, However we all need support not judgement whatever reason we are doing it and not have our reasoning questioned or some one may be hurt who is fragile, and aren't we all in one way or another ? My motto is Be kind, let's just offer solutions if we have them, encouragement if we can't and failing either remain silent.God bless ✌️

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Edited December 3, 2016 by mariernest

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Christina.Rose

I, like @@Djmohr had the surgery for health reasons also. Young people just don't understand that although you may think you're 'healthy' and fat, it DOES and WILL catch up to you once you hit your 40's.

I went up and down with my weight most of my adult life, all the while touting I was 'healthy' fat. Once I reached 47, my blood pressure was sky high, I became diabetic and had a fatty liver. My mom had died 3 years earlier at 68 of heart disease from high blood pressure. I wasn't about to go down that road and die relatively young like her.

So yes, people do have the surgery for health reasons. Once they lose the weight, the benefit of looking slimmer and healthier is just icing on the cake.

[mariernest 32]

I vote we don't use words like trite and shallow anymore and we'll get along better and still make our points instead of enemies. We need to stay friends so let's all use our nice words and get through this together.

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