Preteen with growing weight problem

[cbonet 336]

Back to the young girl. When I was her age I was active, basketball team, volley ball, soft ball, girl scouts..... I was getting heavier and heavier. I was sent to diet doctors, doctors, WW, put on pills, predigested Protein, every diet program that came out. I was ostracized, lonely, bullied...... I continued gaining weight becoming an obese adult with health issues, emotional issues and physical damage. As an adult I found a dr who dug deeper, did full panel testing for thyroid disease and found out I had Hoshimoto. I later developed Graves disease. I was tested as a child but the full, complete panel wasn't done so it wasn't found and went untreated. I often think that if it was found as a child, I wouldn't have lived as a fat pre-teen, teenager and unhealthy adult. Your friend asked you because she trusts you. Please find out if the complete testing for thyroid diseases and other possible disorders was done. Alex is right, the child should know she is going to Drs to ensure her wellness, not about her weight. Thank you for helping this child and supporting her mother. I wish all of you the best.

Edited October 5, 2016 by cbonet

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've not read the entire thread but I see where @@Babbs is coming from. I'm a pretty private person, so if one were to bring my CHILD's health problems to a public forum -- even without naming names, I'd PERSONALLY be concerned.

Her features are described, her mother is described and this site isn't particularly (aka -- at all) privacy safe. This forum is mostly about adults contemplating WLS, not children with potential PCOS issues, so TO ME, there is a disconnect.

Just the other day someone posted a story about how they erroneously outed another member's WLS on FB thinking they were posting here. Stuff happens...

That said, if the question were worded something to the effect of, "What are the signs of PCOS is an 11 year old girl?", I'd have no issue.

If potentially over - protecting my child makes me a meanie, so be it.

That's just me, though.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion here but it's also possible she's just a larger person. Not all fat people are unhealthy. If a person is eating healthy, is active, and the doctor can find no medical reasons that explain the weight gain then it's possibly just her natural body shape. Seriously, just being fat isn't a death sentence.

Obese is not a natural body shape. No fat shaming here, just stating facts.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

Her mom should take her to the children's hospital associated with the city they live in. They should have a wellness and nutrition department. Start there. We did that with our daughter who rapidly started gaining at the age of 7 years old. Her pediatrician did nothing. She exercised daily and was on a very healthy diet for years. She was tested with the best specialists in endocrinology in our city. They discovered she had a metabolic disorder, an endocrine Disorder and she started to become pre diabetic. They tested for pcos, cushings and many other disorders. After years of treatment and monitoring, exercise , PT, she was given the Bariatric sleeve by one of the few hospitals in the USA doing the procedures on adolescents. She had it done at age 15. It was a very long process and its a lot harder on a child but we had a great team do it and now she is healthy, happy and all her co morbidities are gone.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm glad i stumbled on this one. My granddaughter is 8 fixing to be 9 and in the past couple years she has put on a lot of weight. She is at 95lbs. She also has scoliosis really band and had back surgery in June (doing great). But she is still gaining. Her mom, (DIL) and my son are both RN's and are at there wits about what to do. She is very active playing soccer, and dancing classes. Im going to share this with them... She already goes to Children s for her back... hopefully they can recommend her to what you suggested.

[Chicken Lady 102]

@@Babbs

You don't seem to understand why this mother is allowing me to make medical decisions for her child?

I'm not. At her mothers request- I am using the resources available to me to try to get more info for her daughter.

Is she not capable?

She asked me to ask on a forum that I have access to. You want her to join this forum just to ask 1 question? (When her friend already has access)...

The father isn't in the picture.

What I don't understand is why YOU are so offended that a person could try to help a child. If YOU don't deem my question worthy of your answer, move on. You have continued to question my motives all along... how about because I am a decent human being looking out for a child that needs help. I'm sorry that my reason isn't good enough for you.

HW - 283

SW- 238

CW- ?

[higher 966]

I feel sympathy for anyone who can't even FATHOM that someone could have a support system outside their immediate family they can lean on for help and questions like these.

What a weird thing to get worked up about.

Anyway- just want to chime in that your friend's daughter might want to get a blood test for celiac. The leading celiac researcher in NYC says they are seeing way more obese celiacs in the last few years and the longstanding wisdom that celiac causes weight loss has been challenged. Just a simple blood test and one more thing to rule out. I'm a fat celiac myself!

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Chicken Lady@@higher

RE: See @@LipstickLady's explanation. That was the concern. If you would have simply asked the question a bit differently, I would have interpreted differently. No harm, no foul. Calm down.

I interpreted as "My friend's kid is FAT and I have to do something about it!"

And @@higher, I don't need your sympathy nor do I want it.

[ocgirl15 667]

I am actually the mother of a pre-teen gaining weight and I am very very concerned. I would never have thought to ask the question here ...but here it is. I am at a loss of what questions to ask her doctor, what tests to requests. Most importantly how do I deal with this issue with her when she is already sensitive and self conscience about her changing body. Dr don't seem to be concerned. I know my own parents intervention at this age was seen by me as criticism and their efforts had the opposite effect. Boy I don't want to do more damage than good. I also don't want her to get to the point of needing WLS.

[Babbs 14,680]

I am actually the mother of a pre-teen gaining weight and I am very very concerned. I would never have thought to ask the question here ...but here it is. I am at a loss of what questions to ask her doctor, what tests to requests. Most importantly how do I deal with this issue with her when she is already sensitive and self conscience about her changing body. Dr don't seem to be concerned. I know my own parents intervention at this age was seen by me as criticism and their efforts had the opposite effect. Boy I don't want to do more damage than good. I also don't want her to get to the point of needing WLS.

And this was the other concern. I certainly believe in making sure there isn't a medical reason why the child is gaining weight, but then after that, leading by example is all you can do. No amount of criticizing, cajoling, begging, or chastising will make someone lose weight. And when people who are obese or have been obese bring up 'concern' for a loved one about their weight, it's really almost hypocritical in my eyes. We know how hard it is, and we also know that we didn't do anything about it until we were darn good and ready to, either. I mean, nothing like making the kids weight this front and center issue to make her feel like she's completely not good enough. A loving talk about your concern and a visit to a doctor is about all you can do other than leading by example and encouraging them to exercise with you and cook them healthy meals.

My opinion. And this comes from experience.

[ocgirl15 667]

I am actually the mother of a pre-teen gaining weight and I am very very concerned. I would never have thought to ask the question here ...but here it is. I am at a loss of what questions to ask her doctor, what tests to requests. Most importantly how do I deal with this issue with her when she is already sensitive and self conscience about her changing body. Dr don't seem to be concerned. I know my own parents intervention at this age was seen by me as criticism and their efforts had the opposite effect. Boy I don't want to do more damage than good. I also don't want her to get to the point of needing WLS.

And this was the other concern. I certainly believe in making sure there isn't a medical reason why the child is gaining weight, but then after that, leading by example is all you can do. No amount of criticizing, cajoling, begging, or chastising will make someone lose weight. And when people who are obese or have been obese bring up 'concern' for a loved one about their weight, it's really almost hypocritical in my eyes. We know how hard it is, and we also know that we didn't do anything about it until we were darn good and ready to, either. I mean, nothing like making the kids weight this front and center issue to make her feel like she's completely not good enough. A loving talk about your concern and a visit to a doctor is about all you can do other than leading by example and encouraging them to exercise with you and cook them healthy meals.

My opinion. And this comes from experience.

@Babbs... I agree 100%. I cringe at how my parents dealt with this. I am still damaged! I will not do that to her. I am going to push the pediatrician to do some blood work. I know I want her thyroid checked. She also has a newly diagnosed anxiety disorder and hypothyroidism runs in the family. not sure hormone testing at her age would help. I know looking back I had signs of some PCOS as a teenager but she is only 9. Also this could all be a normal part of puberty. Worrying is just a part of parenting.

[higher 966]

@@Babbs fine! I'll take my sympathy back. LOL

[jane13 2,256]

ok.....Here we go.

how should I address a large weight gain with my adult son? he is an RN and is over 250lbs. he seems to eat quite a bit of fast food. hubby says he is a nurse he knows how what to do...son says he is eating less carbs. he had a 12pack of diet 7up he brought to the house on the first night and take out from hardees and snacked on stuff like Graham crackers.

we were surviving hurricane matthew and son stayed over since he had no power at his house. I see him about every 3-4 months. he asks me about my WLS and I have been tempted to mention his weight gain.

[Chicken Lady 102]

Personally, I think if he's asking you about your surgery that is a great opening to talk to him about his weight. I'm sure he knows he's gained weight. Maybe he's asking because he's interested in the surgery too?

HW - 283

SW- 238

CW- ?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

If someone "talked to me about me weight", even a successful WLS patient, without me asking for them to specifically tell me about it, I'd be pissed.

[Chicken Lady 102]

Jane23 mentioned that her son asked her about her WLS....

HW - 283

SW- 238

CW- ?