It absolutely makes NO freaking sense to me... **MY RANT**

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You put in the time.

You put in the money.

You go to all the appointments and you jump through all the hoops.

You do the pre-op diet.

You have the surgery.

You cared enough about yourself to make the commitment to WLS and you physically and permanently alter your body...


And then you get mad because someone tells you not to eat the d@mn taco? Not to drink alcohol or soda 2.783 days after surgery? To put down the freaking pizza'? To stop eating bread/rice/pasta/bananas/hoagies/20oz steaks TEMPORARILY while your body heals and you get to your goal weight? To actually stick to YOUR doctor's plan?

Even better, you get mad when they only do so AFTER you ASKED????

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

Yes. I'd guess most of us have head hunger and cravings. I'd guess most of us had a nibble or sip of something off plan. I've no doubt that most of us were not 100% compliant 100% of the time. But I'd also guess that those of us who have done this, gotten to goal weight and stayed there have been compliant the majority of the time. I'd also guess that many of us who have been successful would appreciate a swift kick in the rear if/when we ask a question I bet we already know the answer to.

It's not rocket science and this isn't Romper Room. Make good choices, stick to your doctor's orders or don't, but don't get mad if you fail to get the results you want when you refuse to do what you are supposed to do. And don't get mad when someone tells you that what you are putting in your mouth isn't the best idea in the world even though you want it right now.

Value yourself more than that. Seriously.

[heidikat72 935]

Amen!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

I get it. Sometimes I'm incredulous and other times I manage to look the other way. The latter is more productive for me. It's one thing to waste time on myself, quite another to waste it on a stranger. Yet I know I'll be sucked in again. A favorite are the ones hoping not to be required to lose weight pre-surgery, preferring to keep gorging until the OR. They get major huffy when I write that surgery is a grown-up proposition and losing weight prior announces that one is serious.

Hope you feel better for ranting.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I get it. Sometimes I'm incredulous and other times I manage to look the other way. The latter is more productive for me. It's one thing to waste time on myself, quite another to waste it on a stranger. Yet I know I'll be sucked in again. A favorite are the ones hoping not to be required to lose weight pre-surgery, preferring to keep gorging until the OR. They get major huffy when I write that surgery is a grown-up proposition and losing weight prior announces that one is serious.

Hope you feel better for ranting.

I'm not real good at looking away if you haven't noticed.

Why? Because there are SO MANY LURKERS in this forum who are reading, reading, reading and if no one speaks up, they are absorbing bad advice and patronizing warm fuzzy validations.

Am I wasting my time? Absolutely. Am I ever going to win any popularity contests for having strong opinions and a big mouth? Probably not. (And I really don't care. I have real life friends who live outside my computer.) Did I get my fair share of finger shakes', eye rolls and kicks in the pants as I went through this process? YUP. Did I learn from those "meanies"? Without a doubt (and DANG I miss them!!) Was I always happy about it? NO FREAKING WAY. But I listened and ultimately, I earned back my health and a MUCH smaller number on the scale.

Giving myself permission to eat what I wanted against the advice of WWs and Jenny Craig and Atkins and South Beach and my doctor got me to 264 pounds. Clearly I **didn't** know my body best and caving to the head hunger and cravings did some permanent damage to my body that can never be undone.

So if even one person can be reached and jolted back into their new reality of WLS, FABULOUS. That's why I waste my time.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@LipstickLady @@WLSResources/ClothingExch

I honestly don't know how you stick around and deal with this ****! I'm very thankful that you do though!!! I think the people who are the worst are those that tell the OP not to worry that they just ate a fat filled, carb loaded meal two days before surgery because they did too and after all "there surgery went fine" or "you can't just stop eating what you want because the Dr said to". Not that I want anything bad to happen to these people but just once I'd like to see the surgeon cancel their surgeries! The "cheaters" are the first to b***h and moan when something goes wrong or they aren't skinny when they wake up from surgery! I really love the post-op people who "test" their surgery because they think there sleeve/pouch isn't small enough or they expected to dump and didn't so something must be wrong with the surgery. WTF people - do you not know what your insides look like after surgery and that you could die from complications. Okay - I'm done with my rant. I had road rage earlier - my BP was 142/92 at the Drs and now I'm getting BP rage! LOL

Edited September 23, 2016 by KristenLe

[finding_onederland 226]

I'm a relative noob (sleeved on 9/6) and it doesn't make any sense to me either. I was it utter disbelief when I read that someone had a pork chop 7 days post op. I was like SERIOUSLY??? Do you not understand what you just did to yourself???

I do appreciate the veterans that dole out good advice, even when it is ill-received!

[Dub 9,922]

Well said @@LipstickLady

Well freakin' said.

Too bad the surgeons can't remove our stupid when they are taking our most of our stomachs, lol.

[heidikat72 935]

as one of the veterans in my support group constantly reminds us "it's stomach surgery, not brain surgery. you have to do the brain work yourself"

Well said @@LipstickLady

Well freakin' said.

Too bad the surgeons can't remove our stupid when they are taking our most of our stomachs, lol.

[Icantbelieveit 955]

Its called not wanting to accept responsibility. You arr only allowed to praise people. If you criticize, you are bullying.

Remember, praise tacos and pork chops. Because everyones an is different!

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

*everyones plan is different

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

After the last incident we had here, I had to detach or stop posting. This is my only connection to surgery so I still need to post here, so I detached.

Everyone doesn't have the same education level or investment in surgery, and most importantly people don't have the same outlook on life.

While the app is great and it makes the forum accessible to lots of people that would never come here otherwise, but it is also terrible because there are lots of people that come here that would never come here otherwise.

I just say my opinion and move on.

A lot of people that post here remind my of my associate that had RNY. Never changed eating habits, still eats sugar with wild abandon, never cooks. And every day is a struggle for this person. They have regained, and in the next few years will probably regain all the way back to their previous weight, because they keep gaining and are unable to make any lasting changes. They keep asking me what I do and I have told them over and over and over again. This person cannot or will not make any real life changes, I can't keep investing myself in trying to help them. It is making me crazy. Every week they ask me the same things and say they need to make a change, only hours later to go out to eat instead of going to the grocery store. They are full of excuses, and even they admit their excuses are ridiculous. People have to do it for themselves.

[cbonet 336]

This is a wonderful forum and it's imperative that we newbies get to hear from those of you post surgery on your knowledge and experience. The commonality is that at one point and more, in our lives we were all consumed with compulsion, justifying our overeating, binge eating, laughing off the 3rd slice of pizza. Please understand that calling people stupid is not helpful. They are in a sad and dangerous place. Ridicule will only stop them for asking for guidance and support. I know it's frustrating but try to remember other people's frustration with us as they watched us "in the food" gaining weight, getting unhealthy, making bad choices. We've all had enough ridicule on our lives. We are at different points on this path, different strengths, different abilities. It's easy to ridicule its hard to understand sometimes.

Sent from my VS986 using the BariatricPal App

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Its called not wanting to accept responsibility. You arr only allowed to praise people. If you criticize, you are bullying.

Remember, praise tacos and pork chops. Because everyones an is different!

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App*everyones plan is different

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

In all fairness, the perpetrator of PorkChopgate took the advice and reactions extremely well. She screwed up, owned it and didn't get pissy about the somewhat horrified responses.

She deserves a round of applause for that.

[summerset 5,261]

Another rant about "stupid and uneducated" users? Really? Doesn't it get a bit old already?

@OutsideMatchInside: You're right. Either detach or stop posting.

---

At least I should stop reading the threads certain users start in the Rants & Raves because it is 99% about - yup, you guessed it! - about the "stupidity" of other users.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

This is a wonderful forum and it's imperative that we newbies get to hear from those of you post surgery on your knowledge and experience. The commonality is that at one point and more, in our lives we were all consumed with compulsion, justifying our overeating, binge eating, laughing off the 3rd slice of pizza. Please understand that calling people stupid is not helpful. They are in a sad and dangerous place. Ridicule will only stop them for asking for guidance and support. I know it's frustrating but try to remember other people's frustration with us as they watched us "in the food" gaining weight, getting unhealthy, making bad choices. We've all had enough ridicule on our lives. We are at different points on this path, different strengths, different abilities. It's easy to ridicule its hard to understand sometimes.

Sent from my VS986 using the BariatricPal App

I've never called ANYONE here stupid. Not out loud, anyways.

[Browneyedgirl41 176]

I know. I saw the pork chop post and mostly was worried. I saw the taco post and hoped at least it was a soft taco.

I HATE the liquid diet but am now finally able to introduce some soft foods. My husband has been acting like the food police and it's so annoying. I mean, I'm mashing up an avocado, not cutting up a piece of steak! I wish he'd do a little research. Did he expect me to live on sugar free Popsicles forever?

For the most part, I think people use common sense and know their bodies, but other times I think maybe hunger drives them mad and causes irrational decision making.