Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What to tell people?



Recommended Posts

Go with Hiatal Hernia repair ... recovery, scars, etc are almost identical. It's no one's business but this seems to put them at ease. It also explains why you're eating the way you have to eat for the following few months.

I mention this because even if you're splitting meals with your spouse, for a long time, you will literally take a few bites and have to be done. Then you sit and visit with a full plate of food ... it can be a little awkward.

I personally just don't have time to explain all my reasons for why I needed to do this. I'm not really trying to be sneaky or secretive but my weight issues are just not something I feel comfortable discussing. If people know, and then I don't talk about it, it becomes and even bigger deal and I just don't want it to be a deal at all!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited by NewAdventure2016

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like to fall back on the standard...."I'm having female problems" . When asked what kind of female problems by well meaning female relatives I just said, "It's very personal". That is usually enough to halt all additional conversation. Later you will be asked how did you do it? How did you lose all that weight. My standard answer was, "it was a lot of dedication to my health, diet and Dr's orders. I would also add that I followed a low carb, high Protein diet. If people wanted specifics I would just say well, no more than 40 carbs a day, at least 70 grams of Protein, 70-100 ounces of Water daily and under 1000 calories. You have to just skirt around the edges if you don't want to advertise the fact that you had surgery for weight loss. It's NO ONES BUSINESS but yours and your mate. Some people are very open about it but others know that the type of friends or family they have will look down on it as "taking the easy way out". I'm here to tell you there is nothing EASY about major surgery...

I have to agree with you on saying female problems. Sometimes once you say that either someone just gives you the oh I understand or they want to tell you a story to try to explain they can relate.

Stephanie - I'm definitely going to use the diet specifics you gave because I have a lot of nosy ppl at my job and it's none of their business about my decision. My husband and I thought about this for a few years because my arthritis has been so bad I've been getting injections and have really bad moments where I can hardly walk. I'm tired because I can't even go to the gym like I use to. This isn't the easy way out at all and it's a very personal decision.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I know many people just come out and tell what went on but this to me anyway is extremely personal. Someone did approach me (at church of all places) and quite loudly said, "I heard you had weight loss surgery!" I just looked at her and said, "REALLY? Who told you that?" She kind of sputtered at that point and moved away saying she didn't want to break a confidence. I just looked at her with a smile and said that's as good as anything else I've heard. She was obviously guessing and trying to make me spill the Beans by saying it at church. I don't think most people will get into your business but some will and you have to be prepared for those people. One of the things I said when asked about my losing weight was, "well, you know I was in the hospital for a bit, after that "scare" I knew I had to lose weight and my Drs insisted that for my future health it was imperative. So I set my mind to it and I am doing it with my Drs supervision" Then you can go on to tell them your strict diet plan and that you weigh in every month at the Drs office. etc. Sometimes by the time you have talked their ear off on diet, exercise etc they are sorry they even asked. Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm lying but then again I don't feel badly lying to people who are gossip mongers, just nosy etc. I am doing something very personal and it's no one else business. Do what you have to do for YOU. No one else has a say so in what you do for YOU. It's just that personal. If you want to tell the world be my guest but if you choose to keep it your secret then it's up to you how you handle it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell anyone until a week before surgery. Then I told my team of co workers (who are guys). They asked a few questions and after a few weeks it was a non-issue. I have also told some female co workers and I have received some ugly/ignorant comments from them. My experience is that the women have reacted negatively a lot more than the men have, which I find interesting. I don't regret telling people though. I didn't expect anything from them anyway I just share now if it comes up in conversation. I don't feel the need to make something up that isn't true. If they are judging me now, then when I was a bigger person, they were judging me then too. I am very comfortable and very happy with my decision. By being open, I hope that maybe my experience can help someone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was very proud of my decition for my gastric bypass surgery i told everyone and i was shock how everybody was supportive and no negative coments so dont be afraid telling ppl thats is nothing wrong with getting help to be helthy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gall bladder surgery will be my excuse

You Got This!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×