You lied again lol

[The Candidate 3,215]

I went to a couple of support groups as a pre op. I liked it and I especially liked the people. The only downside was that I was the only pre op. Everyone else was a year or more out so it was a bit hard to relate. I considered going back after surgery but I felt pretty confident with what I'd already learned, and I never had any major issues or complications as a post op. I was very lucky.

I'll never forget though there was this elderly gentleman there who had the surgery when he was about 74 and he was 76 then. He was so distinguished and well spoken and he proudly showed his before photo around. He was a real inspiration and I'll never forget him.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

the only meeting i attended was the seminar to get the surgery. Never attended a support meeting. Going into my seventh years and still losing with the band.

@@melbell2222 concentrate on you and forget about her. When she starts talking... Nod, say yeah, sound great, good luck with that... and walk away. As long as you expect people to do what you "would do" you will always be disappointed.

[Fredbear 397]

It's a shame that so many of the posters have had such poor experiences with support groups.

My surgeon's group has an excellent support structure. Each meeting has a facilitator for each group (the patients are separated by their point in the process) who moves the conversation along and provides insights and suggestions. I've been to six meetings and have gotten a wealth of information from each.

In contrast, while there is a decent amount of good information here in the forums, there's also a ton of whining, self-indulgent attention whoring, and tons of really stupid questions.

Each experience has its plusses and minuses. Take what you need from either, both, or neither, as it suits your needs.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

[laceemouse 631]

So today I told a girl ik about gastric bypass meeting. She has never been to one and I go to both nights and days. So she tells me this.. I went last month with a friend. I told her I didn't see you!.... Oh I was texting another person too... YAH RIGHT!!!!!! Like I feel like if you can't come to a support group meeting then you shouldn't get surgery anyways! There has been excuses for 11 months now.... I just can't stand her lies and negative this, negative that... I will actually be shocked if she ends up getting the surgery bc it should have been done in May.... Not that I am being rude or mean but I'm sick of hearing the circles she speaks....

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Does she need to go for insurance approval or something? Either way, it's her problem not your's.

I went to one last week sponsored by the hospital where I plan to have surgery. I was disappointed that it was so small, only 3 other patients and the nurse. However, I liked meeting the people and hearing their stories. One lady was 2 years out RNY. One lady was 6 weeks out sleeve, and another man was scheduled to have his sleeve in a few days.

Both of the post-op people were doing great, the pre-op guy was very nervous. The nurse was great answering all of his questions (and mine!) and putting his mind at ease.

I liked it but I understand people usually don't have time for such things. I will probably go again but I wish more people would go. Oh well.

[SweetPeas 117]

I don't attend a support group either. The groups I have previously attended were hit and miss. I find these boards to be very helpful and they have the draw of 24/7 convenience. There is a lot of collective knowledge available and for the most part people are genuinely willing to give their best advice/tips gained from personal experience.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I have tried the support group here three different times. While there was info to be gleaned, the moderator failed to move the group along. We spent 90 minutes at one and could not get past intros ... There was talk of breaking into pre and post op.... Never happened in the 3 times I tried. My impression was it was a conduit for WLS sponsored by Kaiser

This site offers much more in my humble opinion.

[Pescador 1,374]

Honestly my husband and I enjoyed the pre-op meetings as we needed so much information about diabetes and insulin. Didn't get the information we needed, but we made it. After the sleeve, the meetings were run by the talk on and on about myself individuals who loved to hear themselves talk, instead of hearing from each person, 15-20 of us. I have learned more on my own, and have enjoyed the journey. I have enough trouble taking care of my household, my loved ones, my husband and I being sleeved and still striving to be healthy, that I do not want to ever waste a minute of my life being concerned about the way someone else acts. I really enjoy encouraging each person here who is walking this road because I remember being very afraid going into the surgery.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@melbell2222 --

Weight loss surgery and what follows are highly individual and personal trips. Some people are "joiners," others aren't. If you find the support groups helpful, terrific, but I don't see that anyone else owes you to attend. Or have surgery, for that matter.

Most people who have had surgery hate and wildly rant when others who know about their surgery watch every morsel that goes into their mouths. I think the saying is, "Keep your eyes on your own plate." It's my own policy to keep my eyes on my own meetings as well. On top of that, I can't imagine going out of my way to get worked up about something that affects me not.

P.S. Early in my lapband career, I occasionally attended meetings at three conveniently located medical centers, each offering well-run groups with some knowledgeable, helpful attendees. I am not anti-meeting.

Edited September 8, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[gina171 626]

I really appreciated the support groups as a pre-op.....it was a chance to actually talk to several people who had real life experience with the surgery. Talking with those post-ops was absolutely invaluable.

My first meeting as a post-op will be later this month, and I plan on going for at least the next year. Will I get something out of it? I am sure I will. But I am not going just because I might get something out of the meetings. I am also going because the pre-ops need veteran and recent post-ops there, so they can ask questions to someone who has actually gotten up on the operating table.

There were a lot of questions I wanted/needed to ask a post-op (not a nurse or a surgeon) a few months ago. I kind of think it's only fair that I return the favor if someone needs the same from me.

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[melbell2222 244]

Yes but at least y'all went to ONE to find out if it fits you or not... But it is sad that a lot of support groups are not worth going to... I love mine so many nice people and funny. Idk I guess it is what it is all I see us as is fb friends and that's it these days...

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

Yes but at least y'all went to ONE to find out if it fits you or not... But it is sad that a lot of support groups are not worth going to... I love mine so many nice people and funny. Idk I guess it is what it is all I see us as is fb friends and that's it these days...

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I didn't.

[ocgirl15 667]

I went to 3 because my surgeon required it. Nothing wrong with it but not for me. Support groups don't work for everyone for various reasons. I stuck out like a sore thumb because of my low BMI (42) and was very self conscious. You can be successful with or without them .

[Babbs 14,680]

I went to 3 because my surgeon required it. Nothing wrong with it but not for me. Support groups don't work for everyone for various reasons. I stuck out like a sore thumb because of my low BMI (42) and was very self conscious. You can be successful with or without them .

I never went to a support group either. But just to clarify, you CAN be successful without support groups, but not overall support. Studies show the most successful people (and I mean success in not just losing the weight, but KEEPING it off) have had some sort of consistent support in the form of real life support groups, online support groups (my preference) or just supportive friends and/ or family who have had the surgery.

[Candygyrl 637]

Sooo I was invited to attend or sit in on a support group during my pre op but I never did. Since surgery, I still have not participated in a support group nor do I plan to. On top of that they want you to PAY for a package to attend so many per year. I don't think your friends likelihood for success should be measured by whether or not she does go. However if it bothers you that much just tell her. Some times you have to pull the rug from under people. "Hey I don't know why you keep telling me you're going to do this or that that and you never do. It's annoying. I don't mind supporting you throughout your journey but you have to keep it 100 with me." If she gets defensive oh well. You don't have to keep getting lied to. Even though its not affecting you and your personal goals-- I can't stand dealing with people who do S H I T like that. So you have to check her and then move on.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

Yes but at least y'all went to ONE to find out if it fits you or not... But it is sad that a lot of support groups are not worth going to... I love mine so many nice people and funny. Idk I guess it is what it is all I see us as is fb friends and that's it these days...

That is one of the saddest things I have ever read. I do hope you're not saying that the only people with whom one associates whether in person, online or other means are from the world of bariatric surgery. Not going to a support group in no way means that someone is never in a room with other folks.