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How has surgery changed family life.



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I'm a young mother of 4 with a handsome husband. I'm curious how this surgery has affected your family life? Do you make two different meals? Do you still eat out with family? I've prepared myself the best I know how but I also want to make sure my husband isn't blindsided by my new eating habits. How can I prepare him? I want to help manage his expectations as well as mine. And be able to give him a time frame for expected results, not in terms of weightloss but in regards to how our family life may change if I have surgery.

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Ask him to give you 6-8 weeks for recovery. By then you will be able to incorporate your lifestyle of eating with his and the family. Until then, you will be on your own schedule and probably not too into cooking. However, by 8 weeks you can plan for your dinner along with theirs and be just fine. By then you will have figured out how and what you can eat out together. I'm just 8 weeks out and my husband and I went out to a Mexican food place this past weekend and I got a toastada with Beans and beef and left the hard shell. I could only eat less then 1/2 the goodies, but it sure was good. He ate what he normally does and we had a good time together.

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the first couple of weeks I had cooked food for the family to put in the freezer so I didn't have to fool with any of that.

now I just fix our normal meal, I eat a little of the veg, I eat the Protein and I skip any Pasta or bread that we are having. If I make something like spag and meat sauce, I just have the meat sauce with veg. Last night the kids had mac n cheese, with ground meat (turkey breast and ground sirloin) and green Beans. I had some of the meat mixture with cheddar cheese melted like a wee ground meat burger. everyone was happy/ once I was on solid foods it doesn't bother me to fix other things for them and eat what is appropriate for me.

so, once I was out a ways from surgery it really hasn't affected anything at all.

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My kids are grown, so it is only my husband. He has been cooking his own meals (I'm only 2 weeks out) He is doing well in the kitchen.

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Don't make things more complicated than they need to be. I do exactly what @@Christinamo7 does. If I make a Protein with a starch and a veggie, I eat the Protein and the veggie and skip the starch and let my husband eat it. Most of the time I don't even cook a starch anymore. Better for him anyway ;)

As far as eating out, it's harder early out in the liquid and mushy phases. Once you get to normal food, then it gets much easier. You'll just be taking a lot home. No biggie. lunch and dinner the next day!

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My hubby was very supportive he was responsible for meals for about 2 weeks. Lots of grilling! Afterward I prepared meals for the family. I made healthier meal choices for them. Nothing drastic.

Lately the hubby and I have been dating more. He likes to see and be seen. So I've appeased him by suggesting we visit a local jazz club last Tuesday, an amphitheater concert Wednesday, movies Friday, dancing Saturday. He never turned me down. He's loving this... so am I.

The cause-Newfound energy.

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I worried about that as well. Make meals for your family and if you need to purée. Eat your meal at the same time as your family eats. I also now 3 months in eat out with no problems. Just have an appetizer instead of a meal. And take home what I don't eat. My husband puts my little plate on the table and see's my weight loss as a healthy solution to our relationship. Because now I feel good and have energy. I cook one meal and make sure I eat my Protein first.

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I have been cooking daily for my family of 5. It was much harder during the preop stage with a normal stomach. I am post op day 6 and on full liquids. I am no longer struggling to make some buffalo wings and Mac and cheese, but then to warm up my broth on the side. I am ready to chew again and I'm sure cooking my old favorite food for others will be even easier then.

Note to self: I don't have to take this day all at once but rather one step, one breath and one moment at a time. I am only one person.

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I have 4 young kids and a handsome husband as well ;) My husband has of course been saying he will support me whatever I need, but I've felt he is not fully grasping what that will mean, lol! He agreed to come to a support group meeting with me next week which I think will go a long way. Maybe you're hubby will be up for attending one or two with you? When is your surgery? I'm scheduled for Oct 10th! Also just nervous about coming home to 4 crazy kids and a ver busy house! My husband can keep them alive, but the house not so much.

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I have 4 young kids and a handsome husband as well ;) My husband has of course been saying he will support me whatever I need, but I've felt he is not fully grasping what that will mean, lol! He agreed to come to a support group meeting with me next week which I think will go a long way. Maybe you're hubby will be up for attending one or two with you? When is your surgery? I'm scheduled for Oct 10th! Also just nervous about coming home to 4 crazy kids and a ver busy house! My husband can keep them alive, but the house not so much.

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LMAO at "keeping them alive".

My wife came with me to a support group meeting and I went back for two more by myself. I vowed to never....ever go back. Each of them were two hour spans of my life that I can never get back. Each of the meetings were dominated by 1-2 people who were complaining and griping the whole time. Every single time a person spoke up with a positive experience the outspoken jerks would rain down on them. I'll never sit through that crap again. I actually stood up halfway through that last meeting and told the loudmouth what I though of their bullcrap whining and bid them a good life and got the heck outa there.

I trust that other places have better programs.....but the one's I attended were horrid. Some patients just want to stay mired down in their sorrows and drag other's down with them.

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I am a little worried about the pre and post op liquid phases. I know my hubby can fend for himself, but my 2 year old needs heathy meals prepared and my hubby can only cook the following: fried eggs, grilled cheese and chicken nugget. Oh and KD. I can't have my son living off that, but I'd rather not have to be cooking during this stage.

However, I'll just have to suck it up!! It's not forever :)

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My kids are old enough to cook for themselves and the SO are long distance soo....

One thing I've learned is to keep a rotisserie chicken and deli thin sliced light turkey on hand. When they are eating something I can't handle yet, those are my go-to items. Also, Imitation crab meat is an easy thing to have on hand. I sometimes wrap the crab in turkey slices or add Light Laughing cow cheese.

I haven't had any issues with mood swings but I do want to talk about it alot. Sometimes that can get annoying to the SO's...especially if they are working on weight loss too. I try to limit it but its a BIG deal for me...so i dome here to crow sometimes about what's happening and connect with people who are supportive.

One thing, since your little one is of the age to run right into you and want to be held and picked up...make sure you prepare him too to be careful of Mommy's tummy. This was he wont feel put out when you are recovering and wont be able to pick him up or have to be mindful of him running full force into you.

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I have 4 young kids and a handsome husband as well ;) My husband has of course been saying he will support me whatever I need, but I've felt he is not fully grasping what that will mean, lol! He agreed to come to a support group meeting with me next week which I think will go a long way. Maybe you're hubby will be up for attending one or two with you? When is your surgery? I'm scheduled for Oct 10th! Also just nervous about coming home to 4 crazy kids and a ver busy house! My husband can keep them alive, but the house not so much.

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LMAO at "keeping them alive".

My wife came with me to a support group meeting and I went back for two more by myself. I vowed to never....ever go back. Each of them were two hour spans of my life that I can never get back. Each of the meetings were dominated by 1-2 people who were complaining and griping the whole time. Every single time a person spoke up with a positive experience the outspoken jerks would rain down on them. I'll never sit through that crap again. I actually stood up halfway through that last meeting and told the loudmouth what I though of their bullcrap whining and bid them a good life and got the heck outa there.

I trust that other places have better programs.....but the one's I attended were horrid. Some patients just want to stay mired down in their sorrows and drag other's down with them.

Oh no!! I haven't been to ours yet, but I hope it's not like that! I could definitely see how they could go that direction though. My surgeon has a Facebook group for all his patients and within that everyone has been awesome so far!

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I have 4 young kids and a handsome husband as well ;) My husband has of course been saying he will support me whatever I need, but I've felt he is not fully grasping what that will mean, lol! He agreed to come to a support group meeting with me next week which I think will go a long way. Maybe you're hubby will be up for attending one or two with you? When is your surgery? I'm scheduled for Oct 10th! Also just nervous about coming home to 4 crazy kids and a ver busy house! My husband can keep them alive, but the house not so much.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

LMAO at "keeping them alive".

My wife came with me to a support group meeting and I went back for two more by myself. I vowed to never....ever go back. Each of them were two hour spans of my life that I can never get back. Each of the meetings were dominated by 1-2 people who were complaining and griping the whole time. Every single time a person spoke up with a positive experience the outspoken jerks would rain down on them. I'll never sit through that crap again. I actually stood up halfway through that last meeting and told the loudmouth what I though of their bullcrap whining and bid them a good life and got the heck outa there.

I trust that other places have better programs.....but the one's I attended were horrid. Some patients just want to stay mired down in their sorrows and drag other's down with them.

Oh no!! I haven't been to ours yet, but I hope it's not like that! I could definitely see how they could go that direction though. My surgeon has a Facebook group for all his patients and within that everyone has been awesome so far!

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I wish that I'd have handled things differently in the very first meeting.

I didn't want to be "that guy" though.

By the midpoint of that third meeting.....I simply couldn't take it anymore. It was an excuse fest being thrown out by two people and the other dozen were actually trying to convey best practices and winning strategies.

After a bit.....I heard myself speaking before I realized it was happening. It wasn't warm an bubbly talk, either, lol. I gave in to the dark side.....said my piece.....stood up and gtfo.

Good thing I got out when I did, too. I was trying my best to get past a life of excuses.....and some of the ones I was hearing sounded pretty damn tempting to buy into. Hell.....I'll bet the loud dude in there could've talked us into hopping in a van together....singing Kumbaya all the way to a pizza buffet together. :P

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