Making Excuses

[LowBMISleever 381]

I feel really guilty. A nice guy asked me out on a dinner date for tomorrow, and I made up a rather elaborate story about how I can't eat because I had surgery for polyps in my stomach and was on a liquid diet because the surgeon had to remove a portion of my stomach (I know, what was I thinking!!). He quipped that it sounds like I had gastric bypass. I laughed it off and said I didn't... Which isn't exactly a lie because I was sleeved . (I must have turned 18 shades of red when he said that.)

Anyone out there have experience with this?? It's just a first date, it might lead to nothing. But let's say I end up with this guy, or some other guy, and I start out with a lie like this. Do I never reveal my secret? Does it make me seem like I'm dishonest or will he eventually understand if I choose to reveal it down the road?

I'm normally such an open book, but I think this is SO embarrassing to tell someone you're dating. It's complicated further with the fact that all my friends and family know, so it could eventually come out accidentally in conversation.

What would you do?

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[Christinamo7 4,041]

what would I do? well....... I am just up front with everyone about it. but that's me.

you can just say "no thank you" to anyone who asks you out to dinner. you know - without any explanation at all? or suggest an alternative date that does not involve food for now.

in a few weeks you will be able to go to just about any kind of place to eat and find something small on the menu that is acceptable, just be prepared to take food home and be prepared to answer a question about your amounts (I just can't seem to eat a whole lot at a time, but the food was great, and I am looking forward to having the rest another time)

[Qwalla 132]

I guess I would just be truthful. If it does work out I personally would want to start out truthful. If he choses not to like you because of it...then he probably isn't a good fit. That is just my opinion. I am a stickler for truth versus lies. It is deal breaker for me. If you see him again...I personally would explain to him he caught you off guard and then tell him the truth. We all handle things in our own way...and that is just my humble opinion. You have to do what you feel best. After all it is your life. Best of luck..and I hope things work out for you whatever happens. Best wishes in your journey!!!

[LowBMISleever 381]

Ughh I guess I'll be eating crow. How embarrassing.

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[KristenLe 5,979]

@@LowBMISleever Why not see how the date goes and if you think there's a connection - tell him you were embarrassed but you had sleeve surgery and he caught you off guard.

[Qwalla 132]

No not at all. He must be interested cause he asked you out. Don't worry about it..you are human and sometimes we nake decisions that might not be the best when we are caught off guard. If he is a nice guy I am sure he will understand. If not...move on. You seem like a sweet lady and I am sure great things will come your way.

[ForLfKlovr 45]

I personally would just wait a bit to see where the relationship goes...and then if things do become more serious you can always share when you feel more comfortable. GL!

[LowBMISleever 381]

I think that's a good idea. I've been so emotional since this surgery. I hope I don't cry if I decide to fess up. I think I should've just said no. I know I'm not physically ready for a dinner date, but I might not be emotionally ready to dare yet either. This is quite the tricky journey!

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Edited August 14, 2016 by LowBMISleever

[higher 966]

Can you suggest a date that doesn't involve sitting down to eat? Like an activity? More fun anyway.

[LowBMISleever 381]

Agreed @@higher

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[higher 966]

I'm all for not telling at the early stage of a relationship. Just my personal opinion. I went on a date to a baseball game last week and it was so easy. No talk of food.

[Qwalla 132]

Movies...minature golf...bowling walk in the park...hope that helps. Not sure where you live or what is going on there. Lol

[Pescador 1,374]

Such a personal thing to share immediately. Go to dinner, eat lightly, such as Soup. This guy may bore you to death. If not, have fun!

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[missdeeAus 69]

I love this post and your crazy story . I'm sure if you confess one day down the track he would be fine with it. I'm sure you won't do it again the next u get asked out.

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[volfan 78]

I think you owe it to yourself to come clean, I think you think he is a nice guy, so just say, "you know what, I did have a WLS, it is something personal, and well, other than close friends I guess I really haven't thought about discussing it. A lot of people have negative opinions, or just need to share their opinions. You caught me off guard, and I am a little embarrassed by my reaction and actions. No I can't really enjoy a dinner out yet, but a movie would be wonderful, if you would still like too.