My story of screwing up. Support? Ideas?

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I apologize for the length of this, but I'm so lost and need suggestions, support, or whatever you have:

Before I decided to have surgery I weighed 500 pounds. I say that, but it could have been more. I know that was the biggest weight I was aware of, but I'd spent years telling the doctors not to tell me my weight.

I had the gastric sleeve done in July of 2014. My surgeon had me lose some weight before he did the surgery and my surgery went well with no complications. My weight was coming off slow but steady, and by October of 2015 I was down to 299 pounds. That's when one of the only friends I had in the world passed away, and I didn't handle it well.

I stopped walking on my treadmill. I stopped measuring my food. I stopped caring about if I drank while I ate or if I ate slowly. Worst of all? I started eating fast food again. At first just a little, but then several times a week and amounts that I shouldn't have eaten. The result? As of a month ago I was back up to 360 pounds. I gained 61 pounds in about 7 months! Who does that? To make matters worse, I'm 45 years old. I'm WAY old enough to know better.

I'm feeling so angry with myself and frustrated. I went to a support group meeting in June to try to get back on track and was told "You should have never had the sleeve. The sleeve isn't for heavyweights. You should have had the duodenal switch. You've most likely ruined and stretched your sleeve out." I was devastated. I spent $14,000 to have this done and I may have ruined it? I don't think any surgeons near me do the duodenal switch, so that's probably why I hadn't heard of it. Regardless, I've spent teary days since that support group meeting.

So what now? A couple of weeks ago I decided that until I know for sure what to do, I'm going to go back to doing better. I have an appointment for Monday to meet with a therapist who specializes in food addictions/binge eating/chronic overeating. I started walking on the treadmill again. Only 10 minutes per day. I know it's not much but my stamina is very low and the loose skin from my stomach pulls on my back, but I hope to build my stamina and increase it. I haven't had fast food and I'm back to weighing my food.

I'm down from 360 to 340. That's progress, but some of that might have been sodium bloat from the fast food.

Anyone have any thoughts? Advice? Thank you SO much for reading this. As I gained weight over the years, I slowly pulled away from people and lost almost every friend I've ever had so I don't have people I can turn to. I'm hoping some of you here might have advice.

Thanks.

[melbell2222 244]

I think it's great your going to see a therapist. But it's never to late go get back on track! If the skin of your tummy is bothering you then I would see your primary doctor to see what steps you have to take to get it removed medically. Back hurting, limited movement, rashes? Stuff like that could be keys to getting approved. Keep your chin up and think positive!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Hiraeth 515]

I apologize for the length of this, but I'm so lost and need suggestions, support, or whatever you have:

Before I decided to have surgery I weighed 500 pounds. I say that, but it could have been more. I know that was the biggest weight I was aware of, but I'd spent years telling the doctors not to tell me my weight.

I had the gastric sleeve done in July of 2014. My surgeon had me lose some weight before he did the surgery and my surgery went well with no complications. My weight was coming off slow but steady, and by October of 2015 I was down to 299 pounds. That's when one of the only friends I had in the world passed away, and I didn't handle it well.

I stopped walking on my treadmill. I stopped measuring my food. I stopped caring about if I drank while I ate or if I ate slowly. Worst of all? I started eating fast food again. At first just a little, but then several times a week and amounts that I shouldn't have eaten. The result? As of a month ago I was back up to 360 pounds. I gained 61 pounds in about 7 months! Who does that? To make matters worse, I'm 45 years old. I'm WAY old enough to know better.

I'm feeling so angry with myself and frustrated. I went to a support group meeting in June to try to get back on track and was told "You should have never had the sleeve. The sleeve isn't for heavyweights. You should have had the duodenal switch. You've most likely ruined and stretched your sleeve out." I was devastated. I spent $14,000 to have this done and I may have ruined it? I don't think any surgeons near me do the duodenal switch, so that's probably why I hadn't heard of it. Regardless, I've spent teary days since that support group meeting.

So what now? A couple of weeks ago I decided that until I know for sure what to do, I'm going to go back to doing better. I have an appointment for Monday to meet with a therapist who specializes in food addictions/binge eating/chronic overeating. I started walking on the treadmill again. Only 10 minutes per day. I know it's not much but my stamina is very low and the loose skin from my stomach pulls on my back, but I hope to build my stamina and increase it. I haven't had fast food and I'm back to weighing my food.

I'm down from 360 to 340. That's progress, but some of that might have been sodium bloat from the fast food.

Anyone have any thoughts? Advice? Thank you SO much for reading this. As I gained weight over the years, I slowly pulled away from people and lost almost every friend I've ever had so I don't have people I can turn to. I'm hoping some of you here might have advice.

Thanks.

I am so sorry to hear about the passing away of your friend. I lost one of my best friends years ago, right before I put on 50 pounds.

The good news is, you didn't gain this weight back from doing nothing. So it's a good thing that there is a reason; and that reason is when you stopped doing what made you lose the weight in the first place. It's actually not hard to gain 61 pounds in 7 months. I gained 50 pounds in 3 months because of oral steroids for sinus issues, and from the loss of my good friend.

You turned to food for comfort and you stopped working out because the sadness you felt drained the ambition you needed to keep trying.

You are already doing better, so that's great! Keep doing what you're doing. I also think it's a great idea to see a therapist.

I think what you need is support and friendship. You have a friend in me. So if you need any advice, or just someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

[smg 471]

I think it's great that you know the issue. Makes it a lot easier to address. Sounds like you have the proper motivation, so now it's about making the right food choices.

I'm surprised that you were able to drink and eat at the same time, and eat much larger amounts without it being physically painful. Was it physically painful?

I think you have the right mindset moving forward and you know exactly what you need to do to succeed...you've already done it once, so it's just a matter of getting back to it....best of luck!!

[kmorri 1,689]

I think you're doing great in deciding now to take control back!!! Good job! Here's something I found that may be helpful for you and get you kicked off in the right direction.

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

I haven't tried it because I just had my surgery on May 16th. But I've read about several folks who have and it sounds like a great first step.

Please keep posting here and keep us up to date on your progress. Know that we're all here cheering for you!!!

editing to try to fix the link that's not working...try this one.

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html If that doesn't work do a google search for 5 day pouch test........it's a plan to help you get back on track.

Edited August 7, 2016 by kmorri

[reducer623 137]

Please don't beat yourself up about it. Look, You've lost 20lbs! Be proud of yourself, remain vigilant and consistent, the weight will come off.

Try working up an extra minute each day on the treadmill so if you can only walk 10mins today, push for 11mins the next day and so on to build that stamina.

You can look into having the bypass if you choose to!

If you fall off the wagon, get up, dust yourself off and keep going. You can only lose if you quit! Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[reducer623 137]

I apologize for the length of this, but I'm so lost and need suggestions, support, or whatever you have:

Before I decided to have surgery I weighed 500 pounds. I say that, but it could have been more. I know that was the biggest weight I was aware of, but I'd spent years telling the doctors not to tell me my weight.

I had the gastric sleeve done in July of 2014. My surgeon had me lose some weight before he did the surgery and my surgery went well with no complications. My weight was coming off slow but steady, and by October of 2015 I was down to 299 pounds. That's when one of the only friends I had in the world passed away, and I didn't handle it well.

I stopped walking on my treadmill. I stopped measuring my food. I stopped caring about if I drank while I ate or if I ate slowly. Worst of all? I started eating fast food again. At first just a little, but then several times a week and amounts that I shouldn't have eaten. The result? As of a month ago I was back up to 360 pounds. I gained 61 pounds in about 7 months! Who does that? To make matters worse, I'm 45 years old. I'm WAY old enough to know better.

I'm feeling so angry with myself and frustrated. I went to a support group meeting in June to try to get back on track and was told "You should have never had the sleeve. The sleeve isn't for heavyweights. You should have had the duodenal switch. You've most likely ruined and stretched your sleeve out." I was devastated. I spent $14,000 to have this done and I may have ruined it? I don't think any surgeons near me do the duodenal switch, so that's probably why I hadn't heard of it. Regardless, I've spent teary days since that support group meeting.

So what now? A couple of weeks ago I decided that until I know for sure what to do, I'm going to go back to doing better. I have an appointment for Monday to meet with a therapist who specializes in food addictions/binge eating/chronic overeating. I started walking on the treadmill again. Only 10 minutes per day. I know it's not much but my stamina is very low and the loose skin from my stomach pulls on my back, but I hope to build my stamina and increase it. I haven't had fast food and I'm back to weighing my food.

I'm down from 360 to 340. That's progress, but some of that might have been sodium bloat from the fast food.

Anyone have any thoughts? Advice? Thank you SO much for reading this. As I gained weight over the years, I slowly pulled away from people and lost almost every friend I've ever had so I don't have people I can turn to. I'm hoping some of you here might have advice.

Thanks.

I am so sorry to hear about the passing away of your friend. I lost one of my best friends years ago, right before I put on 50 pounds.

The good news is, you didn't gain this weight back from doing nothing. So it's a good thing that there is a reason; and that reason is when you stopped doing what made you lose the weight in the first place. It's actually not hard to gain 61 pounds in 7 months. I gained 50 pounds in 3 months because of oral steroids for sinus issues, and from the loss of my good friend.

You turned to food for comfort and you stopped working out because the sadness you felt drained the ambition you needed to keep trying.

You are already doing better, so that's great! Keep doing what you're doing. I also think it's a great idea to see a therapist.

I think what you need is support and friendship. You have a friend in me. So if you need any advice, or just someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

Same here! I'll be here for you if needed

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Christinamo7 4,041]

I think by getting some help and refocusing on your health you are on the right track to get back on track.

I lost my beloved father just over a month ago, and it has sure knocked me down. I understand how the shock and grieving can affect you in this process. I am just now beginning to come out of my grief induced fog - and just for snatches of time.

I think you go back to basics. walk or do some other exercise as often as you can. ramp it up a little at a time. Hydrate and make sure you are getting your Water and supplements - and focus on lean Protein first.

Find other ways to self soothe - music, epsom salts baths, mani/pedi. I am a stress cleaner so I tend to take out my frustrations on the bathroom or kitchen.

I don't think you can really stretch out your sleeve - a pouch yes - but not the sleeve - so it is right there waiting for you. You can learn to eat around it, which you may have. if so - you will have to learn how to eat by the rules again. but you can do it!

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Jeez, with support groups like that, who needs enemies????

You didn't ruin your sleeve. You temporarily lost your way, and now you're back on the right path.

I find it courageous that you came here and admitted what happened. Keep that courage and you will do great!

[time for june 195]

I am very sorry for your loss. That is a very emotional thing to go through you have to allow yourself to grieve but also I am sure your friend would want you to put your health first. That support group should never make you feel less about yourself. The one good thing is that you realize that there was a problem and you started to correct it. This is a lifestyle change and it will take time to adjust but you did it before and you're going to do it again. Keep posting here your progress so we can support you. All the best and you will be back on track again soon.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I apologize for the length of this, but I'm so lost and need suggestions, support, or whatever you have:

Before I decided to have surgery I weighed 500 pounds. I say that, but it could have been more. I know that was the biggest weight I was aware of, but I'd spent years telling the doctors not to tell me my weight.

I had the gastric sleeve done in July of 2014. My surgeon had me lose some weight before he did the surgery and my surgery went well with no complications. My weight was coming off slow but steady, and by October of 2015 I was down to 299 pounds. That's when one of the only friends I had in the world passed away, and I didn't handle it well.

I stopped walking on my treadmill. I stopped measuring my food. I stopped caring about if I drank while I ate or if I ate slowly. Worst of all? I started eating fast food again. At first just a little, but then several times a week and amounts that I shouldn't have eaten. The result? As of a month ago I was back up to 360 pounds. I gained 61 pounds in about 7 months! Who does that? To make matters worse, I'm 45 years old. I'm WAY old enough to know better.

I'm feeling so angry with myself and frustrated. I went to a support group meeting in June to try to get back on track and was told "You should have never had the sleeve. The sleeve isn't for heavyweights. You should have had the duodenal switch. You've most likely ruined and stretched your sleeve out." I was devastated. I spent $14,000 to have this done and I may have ruined it? I don't think any surgeons near me do the duodenal switch, so that's probably why I hadn't heard of it. Regardless, I've spent teary days since that support group meeting.

So what now? A couple of weeks ago I decided that until I know for sure what to do, I'm going to go back to doing better. I have an appointment for Monday to meet with a therapist who specializes in food addictions/binge eating/chronic overeating. I started walking on the treadmill again. Only 10 minutes per day. I know it's not much but my stamina is very low and the loose skin from my stomach pulls on my back, but I hope to build my stamina and increase it. I haven't had fast food and I'm back to weighing my food.

I'm down from 360 to 340. That's progress, but some of that might have been sodium bloat from the fast food.

Anyone have any thoughts? Advice? Thank you SO much for reading this. As I gained weight over the years, I slowly pulled away from people and lost almost every friend I've ever had so I don't have people I can turn to. I'm hoping some of you here might have advice.

Thanks.

Sending hugs your way.

First, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. That has got to be devastating for anyone.

Second, congratulations on your weight loss. Even though you have recently gained, you are not where you started and have made a tremendous amount of progress, even with some setbacks.

I started at a much higher weight than you and I was sleeved. I think the right surgery for you is what you and your surgeon decide is right for you at the time. Second guessing that decision after the fact doesn't seem very productive in my opinion.

I am so glad you have an appointment with a therapist. I am a huge believer in using all of my resources. Therapy can be a significant resource, especially if you can find a good therapist who is right for you.

Support groups can also be tremendously helpful, even if individuals in the support group may not be that helpful. Hopefully, the group process will help you sort through the advice to find what is helpful for you.

You might also want to consider attending Overeater's Anonymous (or AA) meetings. You can find meeting lists, podcasts, and other resources online at OA.org. When it comes to learning to cope with life on life's terms, OA can be a great resource.

Have you met with your NUT lately? If not, why not make an appointment to talk about your goals and challenges?

Do you journal? Journaling can be a powerful tool, especially in conjunction with therapy and/or 12-step recovery.

Have you considered grief counseling? My old church had an excellent grief counseling program. You may want to consider something similar in your community. Unfortunately, especially as we get older, grief is something we all experience at varying degrees and at varying times throughout out lives.

In the meantime, try going back to basics. Track your food, focus on getting in your Protein and fluids, take your Vitamins and supplements as instructed, avoid starches, added sugars, and fried foods, practice eating mindfully, exercise (it is great you are getting back on the treadmill if that works for you, you may also want to look for ways to add extra movement to your day).

Also, we are here for you! Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[HillaryA 64]

I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm an emotional eater that turns to food as comfort as well. It's so easy to let the bad habits start snowballing, especially if one has a food/sugar addiction. I know it's tough but going to back to Protein shakes for a week, sometimes with a very small meal for dinner, really helps me break those carb/fast food addictions when I slip. Once I get past a week or two the cravings for sugary stuff disappears and I feel so much better. Also, I find eating higher fat foods helps me to feel more full and satisfied - good, fatty cheese like Gouda, olives, avocados, almonds, fish. I know a lot of folk watch fat intake as well as carbs but I don't succeed on low carb/low fat.

As far as the exercising goes, I literally feel your pain. It's only been in the last month or two that I can walk/jog on my treadmill without the extra skin pulling painfully - stomach, thighs, butt - it was so uncomfortable and made me hate doing it. Have you tried wearing a shape wear-type garment? That really helped keep everything around the middle compressed and eased a bit of the discomfort.

Good luck to you

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Have you tried swimming? If it weren't for the pool, I would get very little exercise. The Water is so much easier on the joints, etc.

[butterfly23 423]

@@Hopefully A Butterfly, thank you for posting. You already are a butterfly! I also chose butterfly in my name because caterpillars eat and eat and eat....until they do not need to eat anymore. Then they go into their chrysalis and focus on healing and changing and emerge a butterfly. Sounds like that is where you are.

Beyond the sharing of the name, I have and continue to struggle after the death of my brother 8 months post sleeve. I can really relate to your post. You are brave to post and face your challenges head on.

My biggest offering, besides sending you positive energy, is to be compassionate to yourself as you do this work. Develop a self-care plan to fall back on when grief strikes and when choices are a struggle.

As you know, grief comes in waves and while we may be balanced one moment, a thought, song, image, smell can take us back into our grief in a heartbeat. I hope you are having moments of happy memories of your friend among the pain of their absence.

Please be kind to yourself and stay on BP. There are good people here!

[Hopefully A Butterfly 42]

I think it's great your going to see a therapist. But it's never to late go get back on track! If the skin of your tummy is bothering you then I would see your primary doctor to see what steps you have to take to get it removed medically. Back hurting, limited movement, rashes? Stuff like that could be keys to getting approved. Keep your chin up and think positive!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you for the response. I have an appointment with a new primary doctor (just got new insurance and had to change everything) on Aug 18th and I'll definitely be talking about the extra skin. I read an article yesterday about a reality TV star who has lost 130 pounds and is down to l like 260 and she was told she needed to be under 200 to have the surgery so that dragged me down a little. My old primary care doctor estimated that I probably have 40 pounds of extra skin in my stomach alone.

I'm going to try to keep positive. Thanks again.

Edited August 7, 2016 by Hopefully A Butterfly