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Is my mind warped with dysmorphia before surgery, or is this real?



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Okay, so I'm getting sleeved 8/1 and am very excited (and nervous) going forward.

I've been sort of mentally looking online at what style of clothes I want to wear once I am out of LB sizes -- my only option for many years, basically -- and kind of, who do I want to be when I grow up and can wear prettier things?

So I'm online looking at banana Republic, Gap, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft -- typical chains you can find across American malls -- and all the models look sickly thin to me! I think they look terrible! Their posture is usually slouched forward; limp hair, gangly arms and legs, no boobs or butts. I want to be thin, but I want to still maintain my basic hourglass shape, too. I like juicy, toned belly dancer body as my goal -- JLO or Shakira come to mind.

Am I nuts? Is this what normal women should be looking like? Am I so used to seeing plus-sized models, normal BMI people look like skeletons to me? Granted, I know they are models and on the thinnest extreme of the scale, but still -- these are not my goal role models for the end game.

IDK. Am I so used to seeing plus-sized around me, I can't recognize normal?

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I do not think most stores use normal, or average in their models. :angry: so, I don't think you can go by that. it would be more helpful to look for pictures of women who will be about the same height and near your goal weight, although even that can be deceptive because we do not all carry our weight the same way.

so, I would focus on what style of clothes you want to wear when your body is wherever it is going to settle weight wise.

I love pinterest for this! I have a whole what to wear board. some of it is overthetop but there are things in there that I actually aspire to have in my closet once I get close to my goal.

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well i will tell you when you see someone like say scarlett johanson on the screen and you think hey she looks kinda juicy. she's actually 5'2 and like 125lbs. so yeah i hear ya. im at a point now where i'm being told im too thin and i have no point of reference to know whether the people are right or not so ive had a hard time lately with my body and "too skinny"/"too fat" type issues. so i hear ya on this big time.

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Okay, so I'm getting sleeved 8/1 and am very excited (and nervous) going forward.

I've been sort of mentally looking online at what style of clothes I want to wear once I am out of LB sizes -- my only option for many years, basically -- and kind of, who do I want to be when I grow up and can wear prettier things?

So I'm online looking at banana Republic, Gap, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft -- typical chains you can find across American malls -- and all the models look sickly thin to me! I think they look terrible! Their posture is usually slouched forward; limp hair, gangly arms and legs, no boobs or butts. I want to be thin, but I want to still maintain my basic hourglass shape, too. I like juicy, toned belly dancer body as my goal -- JLO or Shakira come to mind.

Am I nuts? Is this what normal women should be looking like? Am I so used to seeing plus-sized models, normal BMI people look like skeletons to me? Granted, I know they are models and on the thinnest extreme of the scale, but still -- these are not my goal role models for the end game.

IDK. Am I so used to seeing plus-sized around me, I can't recognize normal?

Models are not "normal" sized. I agree - most look too thin and unhealthy. Don't strive to look like a model - don't worry about BMI (I find the BMI chart to be unrealistic) - get healthy and where you feel happy with yourself! I would actually prefer to look like a "plus size model" than a mainstream model. Plus size models are probably a size 12 - certainly not considered fat in my eyes.

Edited by KristenLe

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Amy Schumer is closer to my goal than Gwenth Paltrow. meat is for the man and bone is for the dog.

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Great site for checking out real bodies and what they look like... Enter in a height and weight:

http://www.mybodygallery.com

That said, you may not have a lot of control. Often times our bodies develop a new set point and fight to stay there no matter our personal plans. As long as that set point is HEALTHY I really argue that vanity or personal preference isn't as important and those last few lbs (either way) aren't a big deal.

I anticipated being a happy and healthy 155-165lb curvy girl--an 8 would be amazing I thought. My body decided on 135-140--a 4. I would have to fight upwards and why on earth would I do that?

I'm not very curvy, except I regained my forever DD's (since puberty) after they deflated with 325cc's of help. I've been told I'm "too skinny" but I do feel a lot of that is people not being used to ME being thin and having little idea in general these days of a healthy weight.

Some have the other issue and struggle to lose those last 10-20 vanity pounds.

Considering where we all came from, I think we should be happy to be healthy at whatever size that ends up.

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A year or thereabouts ago Target was heavily criticized for having manipulated the photos of a young model to make her appear to be even thinner than she naturally was in their clothing ads. They distorted her image so much that it made her arms appear to be bizarrely long, far disproportionate to her size. The model was a good sport and appeared on the Ellen Show with fake arms when Ellen called out Target. It's very common for photos to be Photoshopped to make the models appear even thinner and younger.

I didn't start having weight problems until my 20s, and modeled a little as a kid and teen. The way I looked in real life was quite different than how I appeared in ads. Many of the models you see in ads, even for women's clothing, are actually in their teens and not yet fully developed. The agency I worked with classified "women's models" as 14 to 22, but wanted men who were in the 20 to 35 range. Women who were over 22 were considered "mature."

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No joke...years ago i worked at Macy's. I was walking thru the women's sportswear section and noticed this shirt and skirt they had on a mannequin. it was all pinned and tucked and gathered in the back. i said to the chick on the floor..."why don't you guys just put a smaller size on that thing?" she replied, "that IS the smallest size! it's a 00!" so they actually MAKE the mannequins smaller than adult sizes... i guess the fashion industry expects women to look like prepubescent teenage boys.

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