Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Boss asked what I was having surgery for.....



Recommended Posts

Her question violates the rules around ADA, ACA, HIPPA and FMlLA. You could file a complaint

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

it does NOT violate any of those except FMLA rules. HIPPA would only apply if her boss tried to look at records without permission. ADA only applies where there is a documented disability, which WLS is not in of it's self that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry -- the ACA (Affordable Care Act) doesn't apply here either!

In any event it's inappropriate if asked in an official sense, and she didn't push the point so there isn't much to complain about. Better if it comes up again since she's a newly minted supervisor and also a friend to say "you know, as a supervisor you can get in trouble with HR asking about this sort of thing -- we're friends but don't let someone else file a complaint because you made this mistake".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can just say gallbladder surgery

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you handled it fine.

Just tell her you prefer to keep your healthcare decisions private and thank her for her concern.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know. Benjamin Franklin said,


"To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to him thy freedom thou doest sell."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a very sensitive thing. I did not tell anyone except my husband what was going on. I lied a little bit to my boss I told him I was having surgery to remove scar tissue from my stomach which the doctor actually did take care of while in there. I had colon cancer about 12 years ago and have had some trouble with scar tissue so it wasnt an all out lie but not the main reason for surgery. I just didnt want to hear that I was taking the easy way out. we all know this is not easy. I had internal bleeding and almost died from this surgery and had two blood transfusions. I did throw up for about 8 weeks after the surgery and I hinted that I was losing weight because I was sick from the surgery. It really is no ones business but your own. I agree with everyone that was very unprofessional. but sounds like she is young. but if she is in that position she should not pry like that. good luck sweetie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to file paperwork with the principal at my school so I could have the time off and get subs scheduled. I have enough sick days, just had to get the principal to sign off. He did so without question, until I was almost out of the office, the quietly said, "Um... is everything OK?" I just said, "Oh, yes, nothing serious." He looked relieved and said, "OK, good," and he let it go at that. I am 99.9% sure he asked because he is a genuinely nice guy who is concerned about his faculty.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Why not file FMLA. It is for your protection. If you have complications or other health issues it is designed to protect your job. That is not something I would want to risk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She shouldn't have asked. Hopefully she doesn't push the issue later if she does you could tell her what someone else said about HR.

It's hard especially if you had confided in her in the past when talking about your kids which is why you felt bad.

However, dont feel bad as it is none of her business.

LS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Why not file FMLA. It is for your protection. If you have complications or other health issues it is designed to protect your job. That is not something I would want to risk.

I have enough job security to know that even with complications, I'd still have a job. I'm very lucky to have the job that I have, and the boss that I have.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Legally you don't know have to tell them that. At least in New York under the HIPA law . And employer doesn't need to know what exactly you're having surgery for .

Edited by hazelzay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the suggestions guys, my husband strongly recommends that I just lie about it and say I'm having gallbladder surgery....which i've already had my gb removed...anywho I honestly don't feel right about lying lol

In response to one of the pp, I do feel like she has been trying to build a friend type relationship with me rather than just co-workers...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 3 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

    • jparadigm

      Hello lovlies!
      Today is a beautiful day in west Michigan! I hope you all have a beautiful Tuesday and rest of your week!! 🤗
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×