female only Partner's opinions on loose skin?

[WitchySar 244]

Perhaps that's true for your journey, maybe it's just not as important to you as it is to me. I think the fact that I identified this as a concern for myself this early is good... gives me a longer time to work on coming to terms with the fact. Why should I push it to the back burner just because I'm early on in my journey? Seems mentally irresponsible to me.

[Icantbelieveit 955]

Well my suggestion is to go on you tube, find someone that was close to your weight and shape and then check out their skin hanging video. That will give you a good look at what you will be facing.

I did it. It sucks. But then I know someone my size that didnt make it to 40 from a massive heart attack. That was a whole different kind of suck. My husband loves me big. He's attacked to biiig girls. We had a heart to heart before surgery about fears. He told me in no uncertain terms that I couldn't get rid of him even if I was a quadriplegic. We are stuck together. I have saggy boobs already lol he said he'll get the wheelbarrow for me. I said he can wheelbarrow my butt and I will get the boobs.

He's also younger than me.

But you will loose some boobs, you will loose weight and have saggage and baggage. It's the tradeoff for better health and years of not being skinny.

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

[duckydoom 128]

@@Christinamo7 I LOL'd at your nipple comment and scared my dog out of a deep sleep. Thank you for that

I came here to see the responses... husband and I have basically made the same sort of pact. Loose skin is no biggie - he's been with me through literally thin and thick. I'm more concerned about my boobs (Clusie on Youtube had a hilarious video about boob jobs a few weeks ago), and I don't want to have "jacket sleeve titties" or " money pit titties" after all is said and done. Mine were pretty big even when I was 140# (32DD), but he's seen them all the way up to a 40DDD at 240#. They're always the first to lose volume whenever I start a new diet or exercise program.

Overall though - I think he'll be distracted by any loose skin or floppy bits because I plan to get all of my energy for sex back. I do plan on wearing a bra while we do it though, so nobody gets a black eye

[Icantbelieveit 955]

Love clusie!

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

[WitchySar 244]

That's a good idea to try YouTube. I hadn't considered that.

[duckydoom 128]

@@WitchySar there are SO many great youtubers who are going through life after VSG. I"m trying to start my own channel even, just for the support that's out there! I'd recommend looking at Clusie, MadeUpMama, IndiraVSG, DreaVSG, VSGJodi, IvyMUA, there are SO many!

[WitchySar 244]

OMG thank you for recommending Clusie. She's hilarious! I haven't checked out the others yet, been too caught up watching Clusie. LOL

[Miss Mac 6,261]

After two failed marriages (23 years and ten years), I was starting to think that all men were alike. My first hubby told me I was too ugly to live because I had gained weight. My second hubby not only mistook me for a punching bag, he said he was sick and tired of looking at my ugly face. Granted, I am no beauty queen, but my face won't scare children either.

I took a two year break after divorce #2 to give myself some time to emotionally regroup. As far as I was concerned all the men in the world could just tie it in a knot. Then, I met a gentleman from the Mediterranean island of Malta. I am 5'3" and weighed 185 at the time. He is 6'2" tall and thin as a stick. Together we looked like a pencil and an apple. Because of surgeries and orthopedic problems, I gained another 50 pounds and he was allright with that and even made comments that indicated he was probably a chubby chaser.

As my overall health deteriorated and I had a stroke due to high blood pressure, I just had to deal with the necessity of having bariatric surgery. We talked about it a lot, and about how thin is too thin. We both agreed that I did not need to be a size 2 with my bones sticking out, but at least 70-80 pounds had to go.

It is interesting that now that I am close to goal, he is ok with the saggy parts and has let it be known that it makes no difference to him about floppy bits. Both of us are concerned about the brutality of skin removal and whether it is even worth the trouble at the age of 64. If I were 20, I would be more willing, but the older I get, the less I care about impressing anyone at all.

If your man says he is more concerned about your health than your jiggle, take his word for it. The man loves you and sounds like he is a gift from God like my man is. They are not all alike any more than women are all alike. Buy a good girdle for when you are on a trampoline and don't worry about it.

[gpmed 623]

I won't lie. Sagging skin sucks. But maybe think about the things you'll be gaining in exchange for that sagging skin. I've lost more than 90 pounds and it's been life-changing. I can move in ways I couldn't before. I can do so much more physical activity and I really enjoy it. (This includes in the bedroom.) I can wear so many things I couldn't wear before and I look GOOD wearing them. I also have so much more energy. All of this is worth the extra skin, believe me.

[KeepCalm 223]

I also live paycheck to paycheck. I was out of work when I had my surgery. My insurance covered 80% and the hospital gave me a payment plan for the rest.

I think you're misunderstanding her - she's not talking about money for the WLS surgery - she said she doesn't feel she will ever have the extra money for plastic surgery later on after she loses the weight from WLS.

[finding_onederland 226]

Honestly I don't think your ready for the surgery, it requires life long changes.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Couldn't it be that she is just looking at every aspect of WLS in order to help her make her decision and is considering the impact that the loose skin might have on her and her partner? I think it is a legitimate concern, and one that I have thought about also. Obviously, health is a big factor, and yes, I want to be healthier, but I also want to look better & feel good in my own skin (loose, or otherwise).

[amazon 579]

I think it's good to think about it now, but I'd also say don't spend too much time thinking abut it either. There's no way to know for certain where you'll end up, and how your skin will respond until you get there. The same for how you and your partner will be with your new body - long term.

I, for one, never thought I'd care about loose skin or wrinkles, etc. I was wrong. But that's me. Everyone's different. My hubby didn't care about it, but was also fully supportive of my PS.

Good luck on your journey - I wish you success!!

[AvaFern 3,516]

I actually didn't think about loose skin before surgery, which given how shallow I am was probably more a matter of it just not occurring to me more than anything else. I had lost weight before and didn't mind what I looked like so I figured, hey what's an extra few pounds at the start. Turns out, those extra few pounds compared to where I had lost weight from before mattered. Much as I could look in the mirror and see that I was thin, it wasn't until after I had plastics that I actually could see myself as being a small, attractive person. I also ended up losing my last 20 pounds through the process of three plastics procedures, which while they didn't cut that much off of me, the fact that I couldn't exercise to maintain weight gave me plenty of motivation to be careful with food and I ended up hitting goal about a week after my last surgery. I also read a study that people who had plastics after bariatric surgery were more likely to maintain the weight loss. In hindsight, I imagine this to be the case because I look awesome now, whereas before plastics I looked like a saggy tube sock and I would have had far less motivation to maintain weight when no matter what I did I was never going to look good.

I don't think there's anything wrong with understanding that if you do end up losing the weight, you may still not like the way you look, at which point it would be nice if you had planned ahead and saved for plastics. While in the end my plastics costs a little under $50K, which was fully out of pocket, in the end, it was exponentially worth the cost for me because for the first time since I was a teenager I feel confident in my own skin.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@WitchySar

I started off at your height and weight. My start weight when I saw the Dr is not my highest weight.

First of all, just because you lose weight there is no guarantee you will lose your boobs. What size were your breasts in middle school and high school? I started off a 48-50 DD, and now I am a 40G/F depending on the cut, on my way to a 38?? My breasts have not changed, just my band size. If you have a legit large amount of breast tissue, it is not going to go anywhere.

I have batwings from hell, the stomach on my skin is wrinkly. I'm not done losing yet. One thing to keep in mind is, that it changes almost daily. My body is changing up and how my body and my skin looks change all the time. I think in the end, it won't be that bad.

I can point out all my flaws in my full length mirror when I don't have clothes on, but with clothes on I look like a curvy dream. Men like it. I'm not in a relationship but I have no problems attracting men when I am out. I have dated since surgery, and like I said clothes off, you can definitely tell I have lost a lot of weight and I have wrinkly skin on my stomach, but men don't really care, not one has ever commented about it. Men see T and A. and they don't care too much about what is in the middle, especially if you have other attributes. The last guy I told I wanted a boob lift said his hands could do that for me

The health benefits of losing weight far outweigh my skin issues even if I whine about them all the time.

Like @@AvaFern, I am shallow and vain but I never worried about lose skin when starting this process, because I knew that was fixable in the end with a lot of different things, but I didn't have a lot of options when it came to high blood pressure. I also really wanted to lose weight fast as possible so I could reap the benefits. If it takes me years to work on the skin it doesn't matter.

[CHM 1,009]

@@WitchySar

I started in the same approximate range at 5'7" and 355 lbs. If I'm being honest, the possible effects on my skin were my greatest hesitation when I was on the fence about surgery. No, I was not exactly happy with my body's appearance at 355 lbs, but I wouldn't say I hated how I looked either. I was used to those flaws, I had spent decades coming to terms with them, and I was comfortable with myself. The thought of starting all over with entirely new flaws was quite unsettling to me. In the end, health won out over insecurity. I'm now down over 140 lbs and I have to say, at 35, it hasn't been so bad.

I went into this assuming that "everywhere I see a roll now I'll see a flap later." The vast weight loss is indeed evident in the puckering of my tummy below my navel, but I haven't really developed flaps so far. My back has smoothed out nicely. My a$$ is still alive and kicking. I do have slight bat wings and a touch of excess below my underarms, but nothing I can't live with. My breasts definitely need a lift, but in all fairness, they did before surgery anyway. As for cup size, I shrunk from a C to a B somewhere in my mid-late 20's and fluctuate between a large B and small C now, so no real change there. The only area of skin that makes me want to cry is my inner thighs. I doubt I will ever come to terms with that area.

I'm still almost 40 lbs from goal, but at this point I can't see the skin getting much worse - and I can live with most of what I see. Save for the thighs. Come hell or high Water, I will find the money to fix those if I have to prostitute myself on weekends. And a boob lift would be nice too - I imagine even more so by the time I can afford to do it, if ever. But all in all, it hasn't been nearly as bad as I was expecting. Though I tend to expect the worst.

As for my partner's opinion on my skin...I'll let you know when he sees it. But I'm not expecting it to be much of an issue...