So I finally heard it tonight!

[cowboys4life 226]

So I'm sitting here watching tv with my family and I'm told that I cheated because I had the gastric sleeve. My own wife!!! I'm two months out and down to 185 from 275 at my biggest. This is a bummer for me to hear that! Yes I had the surgery but it's a tool and there is a lot of work that goes along with it. I'm really bummed and just wanted to vent, sorry.

Craig

Craig Martinez

Austin, Texas

[Christinamo7 4,041]

that is not cool........ not cool at all.

[Beck90 189]

What a Jerky thing. I'd set her straight and point out all that work (not to mention research and recovery) that goes into having WLS... if anything I think it's EXTRA work!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I'm not sure why your wife would say that to you. She has seen what surgery entails unlike a lot of people that think it is easy.

I'd keep my eye on her, this is probably just the beginning.

[Andrea72 510]

I'm so sorry you had to hear that from anyone, but especially your wife.

Unfortunately those that haven't been through it, simply don't understand.

That's why I am so thankful for this forum.

I know she is your wife, but that was still pretty crappy of her.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@cowboys4life Sounds like there might be a little jealousy or insecurity involved. I would tell her how hurt you are that she thinks that. Of all people, your spouse should understand that this isn't easy.

[LolaSerena 12]

That sucks. She should know better than to say that. The surgery isn't easy, and the work is never over. I know most men don't usually express how they feel but it might be good to discuss this with her.

LS

[sharonintx 1,275]

Ah yes. The old 'easy way out' thing. Haha. If they only knew how untrue that was. When I had this surgery that was exactly what I was looking for - the easy way. Well the joke was on me. Do you think maybe your success so far and your changing physique may cause her some insecurity? It's worth a thought anyway. You keep up the good work!

[Madea61 27]

So I'm sitting here watching tv with my family and I'm told that I cheated because I had the gastric sleeve. My own wife!!! I'm two months out and down to 185 from 275 at my biggest. This is a bummer for me to hear that! Yes I had the surgery but it's a tool and there is a lot of work that goes along with it. I'm really bummed and just wanted to vent, sorry.

Craig

Craig Martinez

Austin, Texas

Don't let that get you down. You did what you had to do to keep living.

Sent from my LGMS330 using the BariatricPal App

[cowboys4life 226]

Thanks for the comments, we will have a long talk tonight. It's nice to get support from our group

Craig Martinez

Austin, Texas

[taramarie523 116]

Sounds like she's a little jealous right now and sometimes even the people

Who love us most get a little

Jealous and insecure and have to try and kick us down (usually to make themselves feel better). Her comment was much more about her and her own insecurities then you. Don't let it hold you back. Let it inspire you to do better in spite. I'm sure she will snap out of it but don't pay that comment any mind.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[sarahbee77 3]

I used to think that way too. In all honestly, I secretly hated fat people. I thought they were just lazy (horrified to admit that but its true). Then I became morbidly obese and the joke was on me. The decision to do this is not an easy one -and I have learned that obese people are some of the hardest working most dedicated people out there (it takes so much to keep trying when our bodies are fighting us every step of the way). There is so much research and data to support the need for these procedures - guide her towards some of those if it would help. I think being non-emotional may help in educating people on obesity and why someone would chose this path. Good luck - remember its a huge change for her too.

[Clementine Sky 707]

Does she consider it cheating when she uses tools like navigation apps instead of a map, a calculator instead of doing the math herself, a microwave instead of an oven or fire, a car instead of walking to and from her destination, an electric washing machine instead of a bucket and a laundry board, etc, etc, etc,? Utilizing an efficient tool designed for improved and more time-efficient results is the logical course of action in the majority of circumstances. If simply counting your calories and exercising more was the most effective way to treat obesity, there wouldn't be a single insurance company willing to provide coverage for expensive weight loss surgery. They view it as a tool that often leads to better, more lasting results than other methods.

As with every other tool, it only works if you use it properly. If you had eaten milkshakes and cupcakes on a daily basis following your surgery, you wouldn't have been so successful at your weight loss. You didn't cheat at anything.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

I would also add, if there *was* an easy way out, and if I could cheat my way to not being obese, I'd be at the front of the line.

while this is easier than doing it without the WLS, but it ain't easy to change your life - and it sure isn't cheating to have surgery when you need it.

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

I would agree with other posters that it sounds like insecurity. You should let her know that you worked really hard to meet your goals. That you are wondering what is REALLY bothering her? AND want to know how you can better support her in meeting her own personal goals (which may or may not be weight loss). Or does she just need more affection and/or attention from you? In order to meet our goals many of us really have to focus on ourselves for the first time in our lives, which is good and healthy. Although we should never stop putting ourselves first and taking good care of ourselves. There is a natural ebb and flow to life where we all need a little extra support here and there. It's all about leading a balanced life which includes nurturing relationships. However, if these kind of negative comments continue then that may be a different situation altogether.