Update, band gets to stay. How's this make me feel?

[NYdad 21]

Well, I've been on my band journey since 2010, I have had success with the band. It has been a constant fight and so many frustrations. Recently after my most recent unfill due to what the dr said was a prolapse I was under the impression I was going to have it removed and converted to a sleeve. We did the swallow study and after this he suggested to refill the band again because everything looked good. I was happy and sad at the same time. Of course happy because I really wasn't looking forward to having surgery. Sad because I knew I was going to spend the next 5 months slowly refilling. I have now gotten 3 refills and I am at 8cc out of a 14cc band. My happy place has always been around 10cc. I of course gained 30 pounds and feel like a complete failure and none of my clothes fit. If you are reading this and you are contemplating band over sleeve, all I can say is what I have experienced. I started my journey at 306 pounds and I managed to get my weight to 198. I worked extremely hard and I worked out and ate fanatically to make this work. After 6 years, I am tired. I am exhausted. I hope to make my way back to 198 again. I am not sure if I have the will power to get their again but I will try. If you aren't willing to work with the band and constantly have it tuned in I don't suggest it. I was looking forward to the sleeve conversion but now that I know it's me and my old friend... Here we go, back at it.

[gina171 626]

Why not revise to sleeve now anyway?

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[NYdad 21]

Honestly, I don't have enough sick time to cover the revision. Plus I really do love my band. It's a strange thing to say but I really have grown to love and depend on it. I'm pretty sure other bandsters that have had success would understand what I mean.

Edited June 3, 2016 by NYdad

[maygoddess 53]

I think you should stick with the band..yes..the band requires tweaking. I have had my band for 14 years now..we love and hate each other..all the time..I lost 130lbs..stayed stable for years but when I decided 2 years ago "hmm..maybe I should just have a routine check since it has not had any followup for years..it has spiraled a bit..turns out my very last fill years before had been too tight and I learned to compensate by packing my esophagus..stretched it..complete unfill..50lbs quickly packed on me in a few months time...thousands of dollars in new wardrobes later.. I learned my lesson of going to local surgeons for follow up fills and they did me in. I should kept going back to Dr Kuri for follow ups. Doing fills under flouro instead of blind fills that started the spiral. I started getting refills..the last one 3 months ago from a local surgeon infected my port..I just went back to Mexico to have my port removed for now as my body heals from the infection. I have no band erosion thankfully..all goes well I will have port put back in. For now I am filled to where I have restriction but not back where I was too tight. Dr Kuri topped me off before he removed the port.

Now...here is my take on the unfill/refill cycle. This is my own opinion based on having this band this long and my recent unfill and refill history. I think this band puts our bodies in an abnormal state of starvation mode. When we first get the band and start getting fills and that hunger gets satiated and you get used to only being able to eat a meal the size of a tennis ball..your body adjusts to this abnormal state. Once the band did its job of helping you get the weight off by basically a self imposed starvation diet..the band now needs to do the job of KEEPING IT OFF. Again..still in the state of abnormal starvation mode..my body is used to the limited calories in per meal..I can handle less calories because my hunger signals were less intensified..I could go all day without feeling hungry!

Okay..so now..you take that abnormal state of being..for me it was almost 12 years..and then you unfill the band..wham..you just changed my abnormal state of being my body was used to for 12 years. The volume went back up on my hunger signals. I could get in more calories in each sitting. My body rebelled and I quickly gained 40+ lbsin 3 months. I STARVED myself..I was watching every calorie in and would still gain back 5 lbs overnight. It was brutal. My local surgeon's dietician swore that I must have started gorging on all the things I couldnt for years..eat a pizza..bread...etc..I actually craved salads because those have always been hard to eat for years..they didn't understand it was no longer a simple equation of calories in/calories out. That's for normal humans who were not put into an artificial state of being with a band. On what I was eating and GAINING..a mere mortal would have been dropping 2+ lbs per week. Thankfully I did watch my calorie intake closely and perhaps more of the 130lbs I had lost would have come back on. THANKFULLY only 50..uggh..hate to say that..but 50 is better than 130 back on.

So now...I have to try and get my body back to this abnormal state of being with refills. I am also asking my body to get off the 50lbs I quickly gained after unfilled..at the same place I was when I was maintaining my weight for years. Won't be as easy the 2nd time around for sure. I will most likely have to really DIET to get off this last 40lbs and THEN my band will be back to doing what is doing now..maintaining me. While I was maintaining, I always stayed within a 5lb range up or down. I knew when it went up, I was having more liquid calories..more alcohol..more chocolate milk..not necesarily Meal Replacements but extra calories. When I laid off the extra liquid calories..my body adjusted back down a few lbs. This is not normal for unbanded humans who lose weight and then slowly eventually gain it back without a ton of diligence to keep it off. The diet cycle. The band helps stop this diet cycle of lose-gain-lose-gain. I don;t think any doctors can really truly understand what happens physically to your body when banded..being it is an adjustable surgery..we change mechanisms in our bodies and messing with the delicate balance changes how the band works for us..

This is my amateur opinion backed by no scientific research..just my gut and my personal experience. I will work hard if I have to to get this last 40lbs off and I am back to maintaining where I was happily maintaining for years and I can get rid of all these size 12-14-16 clothes and pull out my 6-8-10's again!! The band was totally worth it..130lbs off..gone for 12+ years?? yes!!! Just know you will have quirks along the way!! Rather deal with quirks than the burden of 130lbs!!

Edited June 3, 2016 by maygoddess