New to the forum

[maggie409 765]

Hi everyone! I have been on the site for nearly a year and single for about four months so I have decided to check out the singles forum. I have tried the online dating sites. I have met some nice people and a few nuts. I am from Texas and 52. I have lost 100 pounds and my body looks like is melting...lol. That's something that doesn't come up in many date conversations.

[gowalking 10,790]

Hi everyone! I have been on the site for nearly a year and single for about four months so I have decided to check out the singles forum. I have tried the online dating sites. I have met some nice people and a few nuts. I am from Texas and 52. I have lost 100 pounds and my body looks like is melting...lol. That's something that doesn't come up in many date conversations.

Your starting stats are almost identical to mine. I lost 135 or so lbs. so our stats are still very similar.

I met my boyfriend on a dating site and we've been exclusive for about nine months. He knew before we were intimate, that I had lost alot of weight and bless him, he's only said how attractive I am and never has said anything negative. He loves to 'love' me, so I believe him when he calls me sexy. I'm a bit older than you...57. My BF is age appropriate...he's 61. I really think that at our age, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

All I know is that getting plastic surgery has gone way down on my 'to do' list. If for nothing else, this man has shown me that 'body improvement' does not mean we are not worthy of healthy and loving relationships.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@maggie409 - welcome to the forum. I'm five years post divorce, I took a year off to get my head clear before jumping into the dating pool, but for four years I was out looking for Ms. Right. Finally after a couple of serious relationships I found her. Just remember this is bit of numbers game. Last year I took at my three months on Match.com:

I sent 149 emails via their site

I received 61 back

15 coffee dates

6 real dates

3 multiple dates

1 possible match that had to be aborted because there were still issues to be resolved post divorce .

And finally She showed up and we have been going out for the last eight months and it keeps getting better every time we go out.

I kept track of the numbers because I know it's easy to get discouraged and think, what's the point? I'm not saying this is easy. To tell you the truth, I'm busy, but I put dating time in my schedule. It was as important as exercise to me. It takes mental energy to think about how I was going to make an online approach. Some of my tactics worked, others didn't. But I tried different things. Eventually it all came together.

So what about the women who didn't make the cut? I don't leave ladies hanging. If I don't sense there is chemistry, I just let them know. I find they knew before I did. The women respect guys who don't leave them hanging. Five of the women I met online are now Facebook friends. They were nice people, or I would not have even reached out to them.

Bottom line dating is a numbers game. If you think about the odds against finding the right person by simple random chance outside of college, well those odds are very long. It is work, but it's work with benefits and fun if you do it right.

But, Ms. Right was a year post divorce and only went out with one person...me. So she doesn't have any funny dating horror stories, but that's ok with me.

FYI - here my best unsolicited dating advice:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/336754-unsolicited-online-dating-advice/

[maggie409 765]

I think the taking some time off is good advise! I have been on some dating sites and it is exhausting! I will get 30 emails a day and when I don't respond for one reason or another I get Rude and hateful emails. I know I'm not ready for anything serious or certainly not marriage so I put on the site exactly that. Then I get messages from men calling me a whore because I just want to get laid! I hate drama and would just enjoy the occasional evening out for conversation and good company. And I think by me putting that I don't want a serious relationship it's been like laying down the gauntlet! The challenge has commenced. I get messages saying I just haven't met the right one yet and they are certain if I met them I would change my mind. Exhausting. How about dinner and drinks. Heck I will even pay!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

I think the taking some time off is good advise! I have been on some dating sites and it is exhausting! I will get 30 emails a day and when I don't respond for one reason or another I get Rude and hateful emails. I know I'm not ready for anything serious or certainly not marriage so I put on the site exactly that. Then I get messages from men calling me a ***** because I just want to get laid! I hate drama and would just enjoy the occasional evening out for conversation and good company. And I think by me putting that I don't want a serious relationship it's been like laying down the gauntlet! The challenge has commenced. I get messages saying I just haven't met the right one yet and they are certain if I met them I would change my mind. Exhausting. How about dinner and drinks. Heck I will even pay!

Get a WLS guy and your date will be cheep????.

Btw you might try Tinder. (If you mention you will pay you will get lots of interest) Guys can't contact you unless there is mutual interest. EHarmony is nice because there isn't browsing.