moved my date up to November 30th

taylorrae9 · November 17, 2004

Hi guys,

I moved my surgury date up to November 30th and would have gone on the 23th if I wasn't going on vacation to Yosmite with my family and friends for Thanksgiving. They asked me not to miss the vacation and I am trying to make it work between two major family trips.

We are going to NY on December 17th-27. So I thought I should do it as soon as possible so I can enjoy my family.

Then the doctor told me I wouldn't be able to lift anything over 10 pounds for four weeks and freaked I out. I will not be able to take care of my baby for 4 weeks and then I panicked. I had planned for one week or so but not that long. So some of my friends have promised to step up and help us out but I feel like it is a lot to ask for. I also thought I should hire a nanny but have been unable to find one. I wondered if I should put it off buy and wait for the baby to get older? Did you all have to wait four weeks to lift?

I feel selfish charging to doctor bills and now this ==== it seems like a lot to put my family through. I feel like this is my best bet to be really there for them in the long run but yikes!!! I am really worried. :Bunny

leatha_g · November 17, 2004

How old is your baby? Do you have family members close by who can help out? There have been numerous folks with young children to be banded. They just had to sit down and allow the youngster to crawl up in their lap instead of lifting right away. The time passes quickly, but I can understand if the baby is very dependant on you and you have no resources.

On the other hand, the quicker you begin losing weight and becoming more healthy, the more help you are able to be to everyone, baby included. Not to mention the longer you get to live and see them and their families grow.

Tough and very personal choice. I wish you peace with your decision.

Zoe · November 17, 2004

It may seem like a lot to ask of friends, but since they've offered -- please say yes. They are looking for a way to help you because they want to. And you'll actually be doing them a favor by letting them show kindness.

Four weeks seems like a long time, especially this time of year, but it will pass quickly. If you would prefer to wait until after the holidays for your surgery, that's another option too.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you. You're taking a big step toward a longer, healthier life, and your friends and family will be the richer for it.

blossom · November 17, 2004

After only one week I could lift my 12 lb baby (four paws and a tail!) with no problem whatsoever.

PamRN · November 17, 2004

I went back to work in 2.5 weeks at a busy hospital, and in 3 weeks was lifting adults (with another nurses help). I was told not to lift over 20 pounds for a couple of weeks. I agree with with Leatha, you can let the baby help you lift, please do allow your friends and family to help, and go for it. My only regret with this surgery, is having waited so long to do it.

taylorrae9 · November 18, 2004

Hey Guys,

Thanks so much for your encouragement. I have decided to have the surgury and will hire a friends daughter to help out and another friend will be here for three weeks while my partner is at work. Then I will leave for New York and stay with my sister for the next two weeks for the Christmas Holiday. I think I will feel a little over whelmed but it should be okay. I am glad to have the 10 days with the kids just to relax with them before hand.

My son if 16 months old and 25 pounds. So I am concerned that he will have a hard time because I am home with him most of the time. We adopted him eight months ago and I am worried that he will be upset if I am unable to care for him fulltime. This is why I chose the surgury in SF versus Mexico so I could be gone only one day. Also for my two older children as well since I take care of them as well. My partner is helpful but they seem to feel out of sorts when I am not around.

I do need to look at why it will take two people to do what I do in a day and that is with canceling some of their scheduled activities. My partner basically said they could skip tutoring, irish dance, hip hop and brownies for one or two weeks. I will try and keep the tutoring and dance going but it will be a challenge. Their homework is huge job as well.

I realize how much I do for them all. I have been working on them to pick out their clothes, clear and set the table and do some simple chores but they are not really that interested in keeping things in order or clean. Please understand - I am pretty easy going and all I am asking is for the dirty clothes to hit the hamper versus the floor. So I am little worried but I agree I will be a better Mom for all involved when I feel better, can bend and move easily and am less tired.

The only thing I am really avoiding is all the concern that I have decided to self pay. I look at how we have paid for cars, houses, toys and many other things and believe that my health is far more important. I am also telling myself I will feel like doing more and will make up the money in work or not hiring a gardener or someother person to do the chores that have come to be to labor intensive.

I am also wondering if people in general did the counseling after the lapband or if things felt pretty okay after a while. I read some people have a hard time and others don't. I am just praying that in two years I will be at or close to goal weight. I weigh 280 and am shooting for 200 even though the most I am supposed to weight is 169. I will be doing the happy dance at 200 since that seems to be a weight that I did not feel trapped in a body that did not work.

I know I am rambling and it seems that as soon as every person I know is a sleep that is when my brain kicks in. I love this board and again thank you all for being here. It always is helpful when so many have walked your path and you know that you are in great company.

Peace to all.

Melanie

Zoe · November 18, 2004

Melanie, I'm glad you were able to work out an arrangement for help with the kids. You might be feeling up to all your old activities in just two weeks or so after surgery -- there's no way to tell until you're there. And a lot of us enjoy a big energy surge that hits sometime during that first post-band month.

I did not have counseling after the lapband. Once every three months I check in with my shrink for med management; I spoke to him two days ago (first time since banding) and told him how I was feeling, what I was eating, how much I'd lost, etc. Turns out that he has several banded patients, and he said I seemed to have the right mindset for the band. With a few bandsters and RNY clients, he's had to educate himself on the procedures: not only their effects on the emotional lives of people, but how they affect absorption of psychoactive drugs. He's overweight himself, so he has more than a theoretical interest in the subject!

We're all starting at different places in our weight-loss, mental-health, and life journeys (sorry if that sounds pseudo-Buddha), and lots of people have found that counseling is a big help before and/or after the big change that banding represents. I've been to that rodeo before, however, and I'm feeling great right now, so I'm not one of them -- but I won't hesitate to get help if my situation changes.

If the medical center performing your surgery offers free counseling as part of a Lap-Band package deal, it's probably worth checking out. They may have group sessions where you can meet other people going through the same thing, or at the very least, counselors who have a lot of experience with weight-loss issues.

Whatever you decide, you're less than two weeks away from Bandland! Congratulations.

PamRN · November 18, 2004

I agree with Zoe, if they offer a group meeting, go, it's likely to be just like this board, with an added bonus of being close enough to see each other face to face. Congratulations on your decision to get on with it. The down time is such a small window of incapacity in the much bigger picture of renewed chance for living. The sooner you start, the sooner you get better, and the sooner you feel more like playing... REALLY playing, with your very lucky children. Good Luck to you, and get busy... you've got a preparation list to get on with, November 30th is right around the corner!

Theresa Marie · November 18, 2004

Melanie, I will be having my surgery the same day as you!!!! I am so glad you found a way to work it out and that you are able to go forward with this. I wish you all the best -- we will be in this together on the 30th. Take care.

claraluz · November 19, 2004

Hi, Melanie.

About therapy: I don't mind saying that I did go into therapy shortly after I got banded. I did it in anticipation of having a lot of issues related to being banded and losing weight. But actually, I've not had any band-related psychological issues so far. What I found myself dealing with instead were all of the psychological scars from being fat for so long. You know, the low self-esteem, the social isolation. I'm not in therapy any longer, but I'm very glad I went. I'm feeling better than I have in ages. I certainly don't think that everyone who gets banded needs therapy, though.

I'm glad you got the child care arranged and I'm excited for you!

Nancy

La_madam · November 19, 2004

Hi Melanie

I had the fear of what it would be like after banding ..but I have to honestly say that I am doing great..no emotional eating or head issues. Maybe I did not eat for comfort, I dont know all I know is that this band is working for me with no issues! I wish you the best with your band. It has definately changed my life for the better, my kids are happier, my husband is happier. Ive always said that if I'm not happy how can I make my family happy..With my band and my weight loss..I'm happy so the rest of the family is feeling and seeing the results of it

taylorrae9 · November 28, 2004

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your support and information...I needed it. I am excited and scared all at the same time. And was cut off from the internet most of the week and missed reading all the posts. :cry

Thanksgiving was good for me and my family but I am happy that I have some time to get adjusted to the band before Christmas. I was able to see to look at this holiday and say that Christmas will be totally different...in a lot of ways.

I came home a night early from my trip to Yosemite so I will have some needed time to pack and get ready for Tuesday. I have a few unfinished tests they want done for Tue but they assure me that all will be okay come Monday morning since the surgury coordinator was out of the office for the holiday. I have to get proof of my pap, mamo being clear and up to date and redo some blood work because it is more than two weeks old. I have to do some quick money stuff as well so I am preparede to pay the 12,000. They also give you the option to buy a year to fours years of follow up care. I think I am going to buy the one year follow up care because they aid most hit their goal in a year.

I am not sure how it will all work out but they said worst case is that I am put off to Decemeber 3.

I couldn't help but think how much easier next Thanksgiving will be. I will be able to sled with the kids versus cheer them on. I will be able to hike Yosemite instead of visiting the day use area. I will carry my son down the cavern to see the caves instead of my partner carrying him the whole way. I almost did not go because I was afraid I would get stuck in the narrow tunnels. I have a friend who is almost the exact same size so I went down last when eveyone else left. I was really concerned but it was okay. The cavern was 160 feet straight down and over 200 in stairs. Every employee looked 10 years younger than their age and were incredibly fit. It gives a whole new meaning to stair stepping. In any event, I beleive that I will be at least 75 pounds lighter and able to run circles around my children. I have already lost 25 pounds and want to hit 200 pound by next year. althought that may sounds like a high goal weight it would be as huge step for me and would be as exciting as climbing half dome...actually more exciting to me.

Zoe · November 28, 2004

Wow, Melanie, your band date is almost here! Congratulations. If you find yourself obsessing about all things Lap-Band in the next 48 hours, that's normal. Just pack light (including flip-flops, clogs, or some other shoes that you can just slide into), have lots of good liquids already in your pantry so you & your partner won't have to rush to the grocery store when you return home, and keep thinking about next Thanksgiving! Good luck. Let us know how your surgery goes.

leatha_g · November 28, 2004

Sounds like some good goals, Taylor! The time is drawing near now. We'll be thinking of you and hoping everything goes smoothly for you!

Iluvharleys · November 29, 2004

Your day is almost here, and I know you are nervous and excited, which is normal. Good luck with your surgery, please post when you can and let us know how everything went.