Back in the Game Again

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I want a boyfriend too, someone who knows my friends, I know his, we have each others backs we love each other. I married my high school sweetheart and was divorced less than 2 years before I partnered with my long term love ( I still consider him my best friend and a terrific man) so I have spent my whole life as part of a couple. It is what I was raised to be but I am having to come to grips that it may not happen. So I've been enjoying my single time and somewhat sadly starting to realize that my life plan is a solo one. I am not saying that has to be your story, I am just saying it is better to be solo then with the wrong one. I am tired of wasting time on the 3-4 month relationships that never turn to deep love. I gotta lot I want to do in life still and I am not going g to waste it pining for some elusive life partner.

No insult to the many fine men on these forums, but alot of guys over 50, single, don't actually seem to know what a loving relationship is. I have loving relationships with my sons, my friends, even my ex...so while I may suck at finding a life partner I DO know what love is.

The only really sad thing is that my.mid 20s sons seem to have adopted a similar. ..shall we say lack of faith that it is even possible.

[gowalking 10,790]

I had to learn the same thing. Better to be alone than in the wrong relationship. Truer words were never written.

[bellabloom 2,467]

So much better. I completely agree. I enjoy my ME time and time with my kids!!! It's so fun to just be with yourself sometimes. )

[bellabloom 2,467]

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Edited January 31, 2016 by bellabloom

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Don't let it hold you back. Once you have plastics, you may feel the same hesitation over the scars.

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

[gowalking 10,790]

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

[bellabloom 2,467]

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

So I'm supposed to wait until I get my skin taken care of? That sucks... This isn't about me being insecure about MYSELF. I'm insecure about a body issue. Me, I'm awesome. I love being me. I just hate that I have a sagging nasty mommy apron. It's awkward during sex.

But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it.

Edited January 31, 2016 by bellabloom

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

So I'm supposed to wait until I get my skin taken care of? That sucks... This isn't about me being insecure about MYSELF. I'm insecure about a body issue. Me, I'm awesome. I love being me. I just hate that I have a sagging nasty mommy apron. It's awkward during sex.

But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it.

Just from reading this thread, you seem like you are in such a hurry to find a partner. You ARE awesome, you really don't need to rush into a relationship right now. Enjoy your new body, enjoy your children, figure out a good eating plan, date, but you really don't NEED a partner right this very minute, do you?

[bellabloom 2,467]

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

So I'm supposed to wait until I get my skin taken care of? That sucks... This isn't about me being insecure about MYSELF. I'm insecure about a body issue. Me, I'm awesome. I love being me. I just hate that I have a sagging nasty mommy apron. It's awkward during sex.

But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it.

Just from reading this thread, you seem like you are in such a hurry to find a partner. You ARE awesome, you really don't need to rush into a relationship right now. Enjoy your new body, enjoy your children, figure out a good eating plan, date, but you really don't NEED a partner right this very minute, do you?

No I didn't really NEED a partner. I enjoy dating. I enjoy sex. I enjoy having a boyfriend. I'd rather be in a constant situation than not.

If I was desperate to find someone I wouldn't have turned down about a zillion guys who were interested. I'm looking selectively. I am VERY picky. I'm not one to settle.

But I'm not one to stay home alone and watch Bridget jones diary either.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You keep saying that you are not staying home. No one is telling you to stay home. Above, I even said you should date, but the pressure you are putting on yourself to find the perfect guy R.I.G.H.T. N.O.W is apparent to many of us reading this thread. I'm not sure it's so apparent to you.

I truly hope you find the happiness you are so desperately seeking.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Umm, true confession, while I told myself I was looking for love at the beginning of the year (after some very significant weight loss) I think I was really just looking for fun. I found it. Every first date ended up with great sex. I didn't really calm down and finish sowing all the wild oats until August. You may be resisting because you want the affirmation. I think that's what I wanted (at least for a season). Not trying to knock you off stride and I am certainly not one to judge, but be open to that idea.

OKC Pirate....say whaaaaaat? Do men really expect a woman to put out on a first date? Does a man even want a long-term relationship with a woman who puts out on every first date? I sense a Mars / Venus issue here.

[bellabloom 2,467]

Hahahah. Thanks everyone. The post above mine is really cute.

I'm not into casual sex though. I end up getting attached.

I feel like I need to defend myself? But why bother. Fine, y'all think I'm desperate. I'm trying to fill a void....

I do enjoy the affirmation of dating but after about 100 first dates I think I've had more than my fill. I open to something more serious now. Tired of getting to know new people all the time.

I'm looking for someone I really like to have fun and regular sex with. Someone that will accept my body with its flaws... That would be awesome. I don't care about the "perfect man" because I know it doesn't exist. I want someone who is really funny, smart, has integrity, and is just cute enough to turn me on. The rest is all negligible.

I'm not going to be happy with my body wether I find someone or not until I have a Tummy Tuck and that's just a fact. I want a flat stomach. I've never had one and I want one bad.

I have been reading a lot of body positive things online trying to feel better about it in the meantime however. Honestly, who cares what a guy thinks. There are so many guys out there, if one doesn't like the way my body is than I'll find one that does. Personally I don't care much at all how a guys body looks so there are likely men who feel the same.

I've been dealing with some other stuff in my life this week that made me feel pretty blue and that's affected me as well... I'm feeling better today.

I have a date with this guy I've been seeing tonight so we will see what happens!!

Edited February 1, 2016 by bellabloom

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am too much a chicken to have sex so early even if I wanted to. takes me a while to rule out serial killer and bad taste in food, music and coffee...some very important things to know!

[bellabloom 2,467]

Hahahaha cowgirl Jane. Love you.

I don't care for sex early either but man that animal

Attraction sometimes kicks in

[LipstickLady 25,682]

?..

I feel like I need to defend myself? But why bother. Fine, y'all think I'm desperate. I'm trying to fill a void....

I'm looking for someone I really like to have fun and regular sex with. Someone that will accept my body with its flaws...

I'm not going to be happy with my body wether I find someone or not until I have a Tummy Tuck and that's just a fact. I want a flat stomach. I've never had one and I want one bad.

I don't see any need to defend yourself because no one here is attacking or judging you. By posting on a public message board, you are going to get opinions from the ... Public. You are also going to get opinions based on what you write, and of course, you can't possibly convey everything you are doing/feeling/thinking, so the opinions you get may not reflect your true situation but I do believe those answering are trying to help, not hurt.

That said, I'm not so sure you are open to the thoughts and opinions of others unless they fall in line with what you want to hear, so...

Anywho...

You say above you want a man who will accept your body, flaws and all, but you don't accept your body, flaws and all. When you find happiness within yourself, I suspect you will be more able to find a man you are happy with.