Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I am being sleeved on 12/21/2015 – would it be a BAD idea to go the family Christmas get together? (They don’t know I am getting sleeved)



Recommended Posts

@ - I agree with your post, but I would have read Barbie for filth! There is never an excuse to police someone else's body no matter how "well intended."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

That's kind of a privilege of being a male. Overweight women are pariahs--we are assumed to be lazy, have weak character, etc. I'm not telling anyone (not a single person) because people are nasty, judgmental, rude... I don't need anyone telling me how to eat, or what I should or shouldn't do about my body. For some reason though it happens all the time. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" "Have you ever bought a slow cooker? You can just fill it up with lean Proteins and vegetables in the morning and have a healthy meal at the end of the day!" "I can show you some easy workout routines." These things are always UNSOLICITED.

Most recently, a blonde haired plastic Barbie approached me at target to give me her husband's business card. It was very strange but I took it and gave an awkward "thanks..." And as she walked away, I looked down to see that her husband is a Bariatric surgeon. It was this moment that did in fact inspire me to look into WLS, but not because of her recommendation (I am certainly not seeing that surgeon). But because I'm so tired of being judged by other women.

I'm only 90 lbs overweight. I can't imagine how other heavier women manage.

I don't want my identity to be defined by my WLS or my weight period. It is for this reason that I refuse to tell anyone.

Wow !! What a b**** !! Her husband is gonna lose business with her rude tactics !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Prior to going to my in laws I cautioned them that I was not going to eat a lot as I gained weight and really needed to cut back. No one questioned my eating or drinking habits Thanksgiving day and we had a great time. I also made it a point to help with fixing everyone else plate until what I ate they didn't notice. I say go for it and enjoy your family time!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm having mine done on 12/16 and my big concern is how i would be feeling! I was gonna stay in and take this time to reflect. I don't plan on doing any family gatherings until I can actually eat something!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This a new life style, and you are going to have to get used to people asking you why you eat so little. Whatever the story (truth-you had surgery or tale-you are fasting intermittently to gear up for this lifestyle change), you are going to have to decide what you want to tell people and how you are going to go about limiting that information if you choose to withhold.

On the other hand, you have to listen to your body. If you want to go, make sure you wear something comfortable, and please don't wear a color which will show the seepage from your incisions should they choose that moment to do so.

Just don't overdo it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry I thought it was after Christmas not before. Depends on how you feel. I'm 4 days post op and if it wasn't for the drain I have I would probably be out shopping.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went to a big family party at 4 days post-op. Nobody knows I had surgery so I did say I wasn't feeling well when I first went in, just to cover why i might be moving more slowly or not eating like normal. I did take a plate of food at dinner but I just moved things around and put my fork to my mouth a few times. I've been to many family parties since and I've noticed that nobody pays attention to what other people are doing during meals. Nobody has ever questioned why I have such a small plate of food or why I have so much left over at the end. I say go if you're feeling up to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still shaking my head over the bariatric surgeon's trophy wife shilling for him at the grocery store!

That's unbelievable!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still shaking my head over the bariatric surgeon's trophy wife shilling for him at the grocery store!

That's unbelievable!

That was very rude.

But, I wonder if she was a former patient...who knows, just because she looks like "Barbie" now, doesn't mean she always has.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Today is day #3 post op for me, I had VSG and a hernia repair.

I am typically on the go 24/7 but my body is telling me to stay put & rest.

Honestly a shower was work for me & I had no strength left to dry my hair. Listen to your body.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still shaking my head over the bariatric surgeon's trophy wife shilling for him at the grocery store!

That's unbelievable!

That was very rude.

But, I wonder if she was a former patient...who knows, just because she looks like "Barbie" now, doesn't mean she always has.

I will say that I don't plan on ever behaving like that after my surgery, no matter how much my appearance improves. It's just not my place to judge.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well you can see the answers are all over the board. I certainly wouldn't have been able to go at 4 days post-op just out of exhaustion and post-op pain. Having said that, there seem to be a lot of people who went back to work in less than a week and I just simply cannot imagine how.

Wait and see how you feel that morning and then beg off if you need to. If you do feel up to it, be prepared to only stay a short time and to come home and rest a lot afterwards. The smells of the food may make you nauseous. Take anti-nausea med with you (usually prescribed by your dr such as Zofran). Take Water and keep sipping the whole time.

Best of luck with your surgery!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey! I have my surgery that day too! 12/21/15. and I totally get not wanting to tell a lot of people. sometimes, it is hard to focus on what you need to do when you are offered a lot of unsolicited advice and feedback. I admit that i get frustrated and cloudy. the last time i lost a good amount of weight on my own, i got compliments and questions. it was hilarious that when i said what i was doing, they would follow with "what you should try" or "what will help" or "you shouldnt...". And I'm never the rude type but wondered, "isnt what i am doing working? Isnt that why we are having this conversaton? I dont even know how many children you have and here you go giving me life advice about what i put in my mouth and how i should exercise." But! That is probably just me. It was a learning lesson that everyone is entitled to their opinion but you dont always have to present them with an invitation by providing too wide an open door.

and i havent told my aged mother who lives with me because she is a natural born worrier. she will worry not only herself to death but me as well. so, to avoid that possible extra stress, i have been discretely drinking shakes around her all weekend and she has been none the wiser. I'll tell her after the surgery but till then, my husband and 4 (friends & family) have been my support. but ive told them that i dont want to have discussions and meetings about it. they have only been informed due to need and cirmcumstances. lol.

i agree with what others have said. if you feel up for it that morning, go. it might be nice to be around family and friends. especially those you may not see regularly. plan to stay for a short while. maybe arrive late. tell them you dont feel up to eating. but the moment you feel tired, sick, or uncomfortable, excuse yourself. it almost sounds like you want to go, your concern is the potential for questioning. if you dont want to miss out, dont. unless you have to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You will not be up to going anywhere. Please plan to stay home in bed. It would be a mistake.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×