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I'm so disappointed in myself!



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I have 2 days until my surgery and cheated on my pre-op diet. Not only did i cheat but I cheated with an extra large portion. Let me first say, I am not on here to look for acceptance for this or anyone condoning cheating. I don't know what I am posting this for, other than to be accountable to someone somewhere. I am in tears and feeling hopeless. I know this surgery is going to save my life in the long run and I know I truly want it and am ready for it. I understand my emotional eating enough to be aware of all this. When it comes down to it, I simply said "f**k it, go ahead and get it out of your system now, because you are NOT going to mess up after surgery!" Nevertheless, I feel guilty and especially, ashamed, for my actions. I don't know what else to say other than thanks for reading and thanks for participating in this forum so there is a place to open up about these issues.

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Don't be too hard on yourself and please don't cry. There are alot of emotional eaters on this forum and we all know what your going through. Just keep moving forward and good luck with your surgery

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The hardest thing to face is when you've let yourself down. We have all been there. Emotional eating is something I have to battle on a daily basis. Whenever I am bored or upset I feel hungry. I'm not physically hungry, but it I have to stop myself and say, 'I'm not actually hungry- I'm just bored'. Then I go find something else to do. It feels very strange to NOT eat when I feel like that. It's like I don't know what to do with myself....
Don't be to hard on yourself. After surgery you won't physically be able to binge like that. You probably won't even feel like eating for a while (at least that is how I felt). Like you said- it is MUCH better to get it out of your system now, before surgery, as opposed to dealing with the complications of something happening after surgery. That could literally cost you your life (which I am sure you are well aware of).
I also wanted to mention that my doctor told me to go out and have a nice last meal two days before my surgery. He said it would relax us a bit before surgery. So i don't think you've really done any damage:)

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One other thing to keep reminding yourself - you will be able to eat anything you ate before (just not very much and not for many months). So food funerals or bingeing on food pre-surgery isn't necessary. You'll be able to eat that ~whatever~ again.

Thing is, it will be rare occasions, in much smaller amounts, and you may not even want to eat it again after surgery. And you will be FINE with this - it is really amazing how you can change after. :)

Don't feel bad about cheating; just recommit to sticking as close to the diet as you can, and keep telling yourself this is just a tiny blip of time in the story that is your life. You'll get through this and hardly remember what it felt like so don't dwell too much on it right now.

Edited by FrankiesGirl

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Hey, I am four years out and recently back and a little ashamed of myself. You are human, love yourself

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I am glad you were able to come here and be honest about what you did and how you are feeling. That takes a lot of courage.

You chose to eat off of your plan. Now what?

In my opinion, the best thing to do is to forgive yourself and go back to your plan.

I know from my own pre-op dieting life experience that there is a temptation to just give up.

Fortunately, what I have learned is that one bad choice or decision does not have to completely derail me from my objective.

Record what you ate and keep moving forward. Your about to get the biggest second chance possible.

Best of luck with your surgery.

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I am now two months post-op and it has been quite a learning experience dealing with my binge eating disorder. I have found a few things to be true:

Drinking alcohol is not good for my eating. It lowers my inhibitions and I'm more likely to go get food I don't need.

I still eat foods I don't need but I can't eat very much of them so it's an improvement. Still, it slows my weight loss and so I try very hard to keep those things to a minimum.

I will always have an eating disorder and the surgery did not "cure" my desire for food. I am doing well (48 pounds down so far) but every day is a challenge to eat on plan (healthy, Protein, fiber).

I'm so happy I did this surgery. It is nice to have a full feeling after just 5-6 ounces of food. I love food but I'm learning to be happy with just a taste or two and then move on to some other thing that brings me joy.

Don't beat yourself up. You will have many opportunities to do well as you go along.

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I'd say don't worry about it. I never followed the pre surgery diet. The day before surgery, I stopped eating at 5:00pm and that was it. I'm not saying it's okay, but if you already ate I don't think is a big deal. Surgery will still happen!

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On Friday I had a baaaaaaaad day. I binged on some Donatos pizza. Felt awful. Felt guilty, and hopeless and felt so anxious I threw up. Then I felt like crap alllll weekend. Definitely not worth all the fuss. I'm still pre pre op but I'm trying to practice healthy habits now but $h!t happens. I just took note of my feelings I had that day and why and now surround myself with healthier choices at work. And took Donatos number out of my cell phone.

Edited by Tssiemer1

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You did it, it's over, time to move on. Take it as a learning experience. Don't beat yourself up... Nothing healthy comes from that. Good luck!

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