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They seemed sane...Dating horror stories



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@@roundisashape

6 days later he showed up with all his stuff, and now he won't leave...it's been almost a month.

can't make him leave.

it's seriously getting to the "get the police involved" point, he's got some mental health issues I just wasn't aware of.

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i would have a serious talk with him (you probably already have)

get police involved - ah, you think ;)

mental issues - oh yeah baby

do you mind if i ask

do you have any nice feelings for him??

do you enjoy time with him (even a bit?)

anxious to hear more

you said

At this point, I'm seriously considering moving and leaving him there, lol.

105 lbs lost gone, gone, and gone

keep up the good work

good luck

kathy

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In my first two weeks of online dating:

  • 17 men have invited me to anonymous sexual encounters (if this is even a faint whiff of what women experience on these sites, I apologize on behalf of those of my gender who behave this way)
  • 9 of the men I've contacted have responded with "And you're not looking for romance with me, right? Just friends?" (Yes, absolutely, definitely!)
  • 7 folks have responded "You're 27 and a principal? How dreamy/fancy/ambitious/areyourich..." No, just no.
  • 6 women I've contacted have responded with "yeah, I've gotten that 'my wife is gay' line before, not thanks, not looking for a hookup." (Neither am I. And really? Guys use that to get laid? Ew!)
  • 5 of the folks I've contacted have been interested in long-term pen-palling (no problem there)
  • 4 women have invited me to 'kink parties' (never been, not interested at this time)
  • I've met up with 3 folks who seem like they'll make fine friends (I had a blast, I weirdly miss them already).
  • 2 of the friend-types I've met up with have, on my ask for a second get-together, felt the need to insist "and it's only friends, right? Right? Right?"

It's exciting, it's fun, it's mind-numbingly terrifying. Mostly, it confirms that I'm absolutely new at this and need practice. And that I love people. And how lonely it is to be 'the boss' at work, in such a public position of community leadership and functionally single - it basically eliminates 'fraternizing' with all of those I spend time with day to day, not to mention that fact that my colleagues are all 20-40 years my senior.

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@@Smye Definitely sounds like an adventure! It also sounds like you are approaching it with the right amount of skepticism and humor.

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NOTE TO LADIES: Ahem, if you can get a guy to talk for hours, there is a special connection. Don't pass it by. Hint, hint.

Yup! I knew my husband was a keeper when on our second meeting we talked all the way to San Francisco and back (a two hour drive each way). We've been together for almost 15 years now.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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;)

Agreed. This is big time truth.

:)

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My worst date was probably when I met up with this guy from online and we went to the park. Didn't mind that because it was a beautiful day. As we are walking around and chatting he tries to kiss me. Which I reject but then decides he wants to play "hide and seek." I spent the next 30 minutes looking for him. Until I find him in the part of the park is secluded. Jumping over branches and dead tree stumps, I find him fondling himself. YUCK! He precedes to tell me to come over insinuating we were going to have sex. I immediately leave and find my way home. All the way home, I'm receiving creepy messages and very R rated texts. I'm glad he didn't know where I lived and that I was able to block him! Never used online dating since!!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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@@Smye I wonder if you are oversharing. HOnestly, if I guy contacted me with the story about the gay wife I'd be like "no thanks". Actually, i wouldn't reply at all. I might even block him. i am just tired of it and have no patience (luckily, I have a boyfriend finally and am not on ANY dating websites as it was not a fun experience after awhile)

A woman I know is desperate to find someone. She wants me to help with her profile and pix since I am happy with a compatible man right now, but I frankly told her that none of that is the problem. The problem is she is still married and still lives with her husband! I realize that in her mind since she wants to be divorced it's like being separated... but I told her I would never date someone in that situation at this point in my life - she is neither separated nor divorced and claiming it isn't really fair. My boyfriend said the same thing - he wouldn't date a woman in that situation. I told her that in truth, when you have those complicated situations, alot of people who are ready for relationships will steer away from it. There are people who will date you, but they are not necessarily seeking that relationship situation.

I have met a couple of men over the years who live with their exs (legally divorced) or live in an apartment over the garage kind of thing. They do it for good reasons (kids, financial matters etc) but - I won't date them and I am sure that I am not alone in this. I just want someone who is free to enjoy life with me, where ever that leads... and so I won't start out with this complicated situation.

So, perhaps consider not sharing all this in a profile. Mention that you are seeking to date, not seeking a committed relationship. Doesn't mean you want to be a manwhore..haha... but it does paint a fairer picture of the situation. then, as you get to know someone, you can share your reasons for seeking a more limited dating expirience.

there are also people who are fine with open marriages, poly - all sorts of scenarios. No judgement from me, but i think I am like many women that would not want to pursue that situation. I don't expect to find that on the mainstream dating websites. If you are open to that - find dating specific sites that target people who are also open and you may find some very nice, fun people.

Good luck - this can be kinda hard

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@@CowgirlJane

I hit block immediately on married men. IGAF about their sob stories for why they aren't single. Separated people get the same treatment. I'm not even totally looking for marriage or commitment. I just have no desire to be 2nd best. The mistress life is not for me. And I find it insulting that these men even try to talk to me.

@@OKCPirate

Thank for sharing that video. "He even has a 401K!"

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When I was newly single, in 2013 timeframe I dated a man who was separated and actually lived here and his wife was out of state. That was okay for me at the time since I was just dating and finding my footing in the single world. He moved away, but we stayed pals and talked alot on the phone. Last year he asked me "what would it take for you to be back in my life?" He had dated more and realized what a find I was and how we had some similiar life goals etc etc.

He claimed that they were divorced, everyone was free to do their own thing etc. I had alot of hesitancy because he still lives 4 hour drive away, but I really liked him so considered meeting to see if we reconnect.

So, we are making plans for me to go to portland and the topic of getting a hotel room for the weekend comes up. I had the whole - WTF?!? I didn't even ask for an explanation, but I knew he was lying or skimping on the truth regarding his marital or living status. It hurt my feelings because we had become friends and like I said stayed in contact for years and I guess I thought we had a chance at something real. sheesh.

Anyway, this is a show stopper issue for many of us.

@@CowgirlJane

I hit block immediately on married men. IGAF about their sob stories for why they aren't single. Separated people get the same treatment. I'm not even totally looking for marriage or commitment. I just have no desire to be 2nd best. The mistress life is not for me. And I find it insulting that these men even try to talk to me.

@@OKCPirate

Thank for sharing that video. "He even has a 401K!"

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@@CowgirlJane

It amazes me how many try it. I think they try it, because it works. Especially with a lot of women over 30 who are lonely and willing to settle, accept anything.

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@@CowgirlJane

It amazes me how many try it. I think they try it, because it works. Especially with a lot of women over 30 who are lonely and willing to settle, accept anything.

Ditto for guys. Low self-esteem exists in both sexes.

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I have a new one (for those aware of the old one, I finally got that weirdo out of my house, lol...it took him 3 days to find another girl to mooch off of).

Tried a new site and got a response before I finished setting my profile up. He seemed nice! I wanted to be fair because I'm still not thin and my first picture was just my face, so I asked him to go look again since I'd added full body pics and make sure I was what he was expecting. He said he did and it was great! He really liked me! We didn't talk a lot but kept in touch over the course of about a month while both of us had stuff going on and didn't have time. Finally we were supposed to meet on Saturday. I got there, paid for parking, went into the pretentious coffee shop of his choosing, paid for my overpriced "flower scented" coffee and texted him to let him know I was sitting by the front door.

He sends back a message saying he's not interested, and pretty much accused me of trying to lie about what I look like, and he was calling me out on it for my benefit of course. The whole thing was a setup to embarrass me because that's somehow supposed to help me magically be a size 0?!?

Slap in the face after losing this much weight, and the fact that this 40 year old loser put the time and effort into pulling this off just astounds me. What gets me more than anything is that this jerk is supposed to be a teacher. How does he treat the chubby girls in his class?

Between that, the weirdos, and the "sure I want a relationship and a family! Except I really just want a booty call and btw I had a vasectomy" guys, I can't do it anymore. Deleted all my online profiles. I'm tired, lol.

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@@roundisashape - My sympathies. I experienced the same thing before surgery (one of the reasons I began the whole journey). It was a great deal of fun to see her again recently at a social event, with my very girlfriend (who happens to be smoking hot IMHO) and she barely recognized me. Hopefully this will motivate you as it did me to get in better shape. It was damn sweet BTW.

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Oh wow, that must have felt AWESOME, @@OKCPirate!

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