Having 2nd thoughts

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@rusty780 said:

"We all need to stop - let's tie our self-esteem to our weight. Put all possibilities and moments of happiness on hold until we are thin enough to deserve it."

That's not what I meant at all. But I hope you know that.

I was talking about how our health declines and our opportunities in life decline as one's obesity increases. For instance, it's hard to enjoy life very well when you can walk no more than 100 feet at a time.

Oh, and it's no big joy for our family and friends either when our own abilities become so limited.

[MoReal 7]

My surgery is Monday! The 28th. I must say I have been very nervous over the past few weeks. But today I found this group and I'm so empowered right now!! I'm 240 lbs right now 5'2, 33 yrs old. I don't care how much I end up loseing, jus want to lose!! I'm going to jus pray and dive in!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@ @@VSGAnn2014 - I also agree with both of you.

Here are my two sides to the story. I FAILED with my first WLS (lapband 2001). I really really thought I was ready, but in hindsight, i had no freaking idea what I was getting into. There were reasons I was underinformed, not all of them my own self denial..ha!, but I don't want others to suffer my same fate. I have to say that losing ***some*** weight and suffering terribly in the process, only to regain it all plus was one of the most self esteem damaging experiences of my life. I felt like the biggest fail on the planet. I don't want anyone else to experience that. i think the sleeve is a much better procedure, but we see people all the time that don't do that great, have completely unrealistic expectations and poor understanding of what is required so we know there are failures with the sleeve too. I just know that being "all in" makes such a difference especially if you have alot of weight to lose like I did.

Flip side, oooh booy do the health problems show up. Someone on here said something like "you are healthy fat until you are not"... and that is just the truth! In my case, my cardio health seems good, no diabetes etc, but damn I am paying a bit price in the osteoarthritis camp. Regrets are useless - but truth is if I could have maintained significant weight loss a decade or two ago, it might have made a big difference. Instead, I am entering my "50s" with significant muscular skeletal damage and although I am rocking the skinny jeans these days... doesn't matter... the damage is done. I also don't wish THAT on anyone else.

WLS is a permanent, life altering and a really tough decision and I genuinely want everyone to find the kind of success that Ann and I and many many others have found.

[The Candidate 3,215]

@@CowgirlJane excellent post! Being in my 50's, I too am having to live with the damage already done. It's why I struggle to exercise the way I know I need to, and yet, I do it anyway, because I went into this with the firm resolve that I was going to do everything required of me to obtain the best wls results. I insured that I was both fully researched and fully informed. My part in this, post surgery, is every bit as critical as the skill of the surgeon's scalpel.

Had I had the means and knowledge 20 years ago, and been able to have the surgery then, my body wouldn't have had as much long lasting damage as it does now. My knees are shot, my back aches constantly, the list goes on, but even at only 8 weeks out things are improving dramatically, and I still have high hopes that they will continue to improve as the weight decreases. I'll never completely reverse the damage, not at my age, but I've come a very long way.

You're right too about the internal guttural pain of losing and regaining, again and again. I gave up completely after my last attempt. It did me in, physically and mentally. I knew I had tried 100% and still failed. It's demoralizing, and it slowly breaks your spirit bit by bit. I just couldn't summon the strength to do it again. And I stayed in that funk for another ten years. Until that "moment" came after I had reached my all time high weight, and began to seriously consider wls.

As hard as it was to wait, having to go through a full year of insurance requirements, it helped cement my decision. It also led to research overload. By the time they wheeled me in I had no doubts, no questions, and no reservations. The year wait was a benefit that I've never fully appreciated until now.

[NMFGAZ 26]

I am scheduled for surgery on 10/15/15. However, I keep wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have lost and gained hundreds of pounds over my life. Part of me says just lose it and stay strong enough to keep it off this time. Then I will also not have the pain and side effects of surgery. Another part of me says I have never been able to keep the weight off before and if I lose weight and gain it back, I have lost that time. Maybe the sleeve will help me keep it off. I'm so conflicted in my mind. I need to lose 90 to 100 lbs. Did anyone else go through this? Thx.

[pimmar 30]

I think it's normal to have doubts. I contemplated the sleeve about 2 1/2 yrs ago but decided to go the medical weight loss route and lost a significant amount of weight but have gained about half back and do not want to gain any more back....and can not...I can easily lose and gain 20lbs but then can't get passed a certain point without feeling like I am starving.....I can't exercise the way I used to and at this time I am looking at either a knee replacement or weight loss. I hope that the weight loss will make the pain bearable and I can hold off on that knee replacement. Everyone who knows about it thinks I can do it without the surgery so I too second guess my decision. However I know my love hate relationship with food and feel if I can do this now while I am young, and have young kids...I will then be able to have a more active lifestyle and keep up with my kids.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I was different. I have chronic health conditions. They weren't cause by being overweight, but being overweight made them worse. In short they robbed me of the ability to fight them off. 5 years ago I got a severe case of facial shingles. They are much more painful than on the body because the skin on your face is thinner. I was really sick. Quarantined for 6 weeks, too weak to move for months. I have permanent damage from that called trigeminal neuralgia. I was in my 40's. Way out of the demographic for shingle which typically effects seniors. I knew then I had to do something to build my immunity and give my body a chance to fight. I joined a gym and completely over hauled my diet. I stopped eating processed food and drinking soda. I loss 50lbs in 6 mths. Then I had an allergy attack. A bad one. I was in a medically induced coma for 4 days. I was left weak and tired. I couldn't work out. I regained that 50lbs. I did this several times. Lost 35 -50lbs eating right and going to the gym, then got sick and regained.

I need off that cycle and I need help. I started investigating WLS and knew the sleeve was for me. Having previously changed my eating habits, the bariatric diet wasn't that much of a challenge. Pain and side effects? I had none. That surgery was the easiest hospital experience I ever had and I've spent more time in ER's and hospitals than I ever want to do again. The best part is somehow the surgery triggered something in me. I have not been to the ER in well over a year. A big change from every couple of months pre-op. My allergies are mostly managed by medication and my energy level is through the roof.

It helps being confident going in, I think it makes the hospital stay easier, but you need to know 100% that this is for you. Ask yourself if fear is talking or if you really believe you can do this without help. If it's fear then, don't let fear rule your life.

[Nomorepasta 19]

HI

I ALSO FEEL THE SAME WAY U DO. I ACTUALLY HAD A SURGERY DATE AND CANCELLED IT NOW IM ON THE FENCE AS TO WHAT TO DO.IT FRIGHTENS ME THAT IT IS SUCH A PERMANENT CHANGE FOREVER IN THE WAY U EAT AND DRINK!!!

I KNOW IF I LOSE WEIGHT AGAIN THAT I WILL ONLY GAIN IT BACK THEN SOME.

HOWEVER GOING THROUGH THE SURGERY WITH COMPLICATIONS AND ALL OF THE SIDE EFFECTS U CAN GET IF U DONT "FOLLOW THE RULES" IS SO SCARY TO ME.

I KNOW MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE HAD IT SAY THAT THEY WISH THEY HAD DONE IT SOONER AND HOW HAPPY THEY NOW R.

OTHERS HAVE HAD SIDE EFFECTS FROM THE SURGERY LIKE LOSING THEIR hair AND LEAKAGE FROM THE STOMACH WHICH I KNOW I WOULD JUST NOT B ABLE TO HANDLE

DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.....

PLEASE WRITE BACK SO THAT I CAN FOLLOW UR JOURNEY AND WE CAN SUPPORT EACH OTHER...

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

What sort of complications?

[Babbs 14,680]

One of my favorite sayings:

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".

I stopped the insanity of yo yo dieting for 25 years and decided to do something that would give me a fighting chance for different results.

[JacksdadShane 65]

My guess is there is not one person on this board who didnt have second thoughts at one point. You have to make the best decision for you. Surgery is a big deal and has risks but yoyo weight loss and being overweight have serious risks too. Only you can make this decison and once you do trust yourself

Also mindset is a big deal. WLS is simply a tool...A very effective tool but a tool nonetheless. If you tell yourself you are just going to gain it all back than you will. It is that simple.

We have all gone through what you are going through or we wouldn't be here. Best of luck in whatever you decide!

[Seahawkgirl 129]

@@Babbs I was thinking the exact same thing!!

I'm scheduled 10/12 and am freaking out a little. But I am done with the insanity as well, so am committed to the surgery. Afterall, a had a touch of cold feet before I got married...and we'll be celebrating our 25th anniversary 6 months after my surgery!

I think doubts are a normal part of any big life change.

[lifechange@59 1]

My surgery is , October 22, It's all I think about , should I or should I not . I am 59 years old need to lose atleast 100 lbs . For my health , but scared of the surgery is it the right thing to do or not , that is the question ....

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer" but at your age and degree of obesity, you are very unlikely to get it under control without WLS. It is still a tough decision... but I went down the route of "100% chance of early death with a side trip through disability" if I remained 150# overweight or that "1-5% chance of serious complications with the sleeve". Of course, there is a much higher probability of having other "issues" like temporary hair loss, reflux etc but the math still made sense to me to get sleeved.

I was sleeved in my late 40s and had essentially lost the ability to lose much weight any other way.

My surgery is , October 22, It's all I think about , should I or should I not . I am 59 years old need to lose atleast 100 lbs . For my health , but scared of the surgery is it the right thing to do or not , that is the question ....

[BairwithMe 144]

Thx for all the replies. I am leaning towards going through with it as I do want to live the rest of my life free from this weight. I want to do all the things that I never had the nerve to do because I am overweight. Tired of sitting on the sidelines. If I don't do it now, I figure I am just losing time since I am already 50. I will definitely need to make up my mind by 9/29 as I am self pay and that is when my payment is due! I hate going into debt for this, but hate being obese more.

I am 52 an having The surgery on October 19 I know I need to get healthy and I know this is right for me wishing you all the best only you know what you need good luck hon