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I updated the pics in my profile and that seemed to generate some activity. Been having a nice back and forth with another woman. When should I escalate this to an in person meeting? What should the first date or meeting be?

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3 hours ago, sgc said:

I updated the pics in my profile and that seemed to generate some activity. Been having a nice back and forth with another woman. When should I escalate this to an in person meeting? What should the first date or meeting be?

Well that's good. How long have you been talking to her. My suggestion is wait about 1 week after talking just to make sure that the chemistry is really there.

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Well that's good. How long have you been talking to her. My suggestion is wait about 1 week after talking just to make sure that the chemistry is really there.

It has only been a day but several messages. She was replying almost instantly. The problem once again is that she isn't asking me questions. It seems like I'm keeping the conversation going. She emailed me initially saying she would like to chat. I sort of tested her by replying and not asking her anything. She replied and it was short and with no question. I seem to run into this with the few who do show interest.

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Open ended questions good sir. Make her speak to you. If she is unable to tell you about herself in an open ended question she is either not interested or has the personality of a rock. I would review her profile, look for the items that show her interests. If you see a common interest ask about it. Example, if she says she likes hiking and in the off chance you may also or you may be curious about it. "Hey there (Insert name of romantic interests here) I notice on your profile you said you enjoyed hiking. I have been interested in finding cool places to hike also. Tell me about your experiences." No need to use verbatim but notice, she can't give you a yes or no answer without sounding like a complete dolt who is being evasive, she has to fork over some information which can then lead to more questions ANNNND hopefully get her to engage you with questions since you have shown interest in something she likes.

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Open ended questions good sir. Make her speak to you. If she is unable to tell you about herself in an open ended question she is either not interested or has the personality of a rock. I would review her profile, look for the items that show her interests. If you see a common interest ask about it. Example, if she says she likes hiking and in the off chance you may also or you may be curious about it. "Hey there (Insert name of romantic interests here) I notice on your profile you said you enjoyed hiking. I have been interested in finding cool places to hike also. Tell me about your experiences." No need to use verbatim but notice, she can't give you a yes or no answer without sounding like a complete dolt who is being evasive, she has to fork over some information which can then lead to more questions ANNNND hopefully get her to engage you with questions since you have shown interest in something she likes.

I have done that and she has responded with somewhat detailed answers but she doesn't ask me anything. She had talked about a trip she had taken so I figured I would test her and said that sounded like fun, I will have to try that sometime. Didn't ask her a question. She responded right away and basically said it was but didn't ask me anything. Not sure where this is going. She emailed me first and responds right away to my emails but I feel I'm keeping the conversation going.

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19 minutes ago, sgc said:


I have done that and she has responded with somewhat detailed answers but she doesn't ask me anything. She had talked about a trip she had taken so I figured I would test her and said that sounded like fun, I will have to try that sometime. Didn't ask her a question. She responded right away and basically said it was but didn't ask me anything. Not sure where this is going. She emailed me first and responds right away to my emails but I feel I'm keeping the conversation going.

Pros and cons to this:

Pros -

SHE initiated. If she started this then we must assume there is interest. This is good.

She responds quickly. She is wanting more communication from you, again this is good.

Cons-

Lacks follow up on questions

Your feeling like you sustain this conversation

This is not as bad a deal as you may be feeling. You may have to get creative and start volunteering somethings about yourself. "Tootin your own horn" if you will. Keep digging through her profile and pay attention to the "little things" she says and expresses interest in. Not sure what dating site you are on, but if she gave some descriptors on the kind of man she wants to find. Work that into a conversation piece. You may have to work a little harder at this than you expected, and you may have to volunteer more of yourself rather than waiting on her to question you. That's ok, find that common interest(s) and run with it. Relay a story on something you experienced based on a common interest she has with you. Avoid negative past experiences with other women at all costs - no one likes to hear about ex-anythings and the one sided stories that usually accompanying them

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Pros and cons to this:
Pros -
SHE initiated. If she started this then we must assume there is interest. This is good.
She responds quickly. She is wanting more communication from you, again this is good.
Cons-
Lacks follow up on questions
Your feeling like you sustain this conversation
This is not as bad a deal as you may be feeling. You may have to get creative and start volunteering somethings about yourself. "Tootin your own horn" if you will. Keep digging through her profile and pay attention to the "little things" she says and expresses interest in. Not sure what dating site you are on, but if she gave some descriptors on the kind of man she wants to find. Work that into a conversation piece. You may have to work a little harder at this than you expected, and you may have to volunteer more of yourself rather than waiting on her to question you. That's ok, find that common interest(s) and run with it. Relay a story on something you experienced based on a common interest she has with you. Avoid negative past experiences with other women at all costs - no one likes to hear about ex-anythings and the one sided stories that usually accompanying them

I have volunteered some information on myself. I'm just hoping her lack of questions isn't a lack of interest.

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14 minutes ago, sgc said:


I have volunteered some information on myself. I'm just hoping her lack of questions isn't a lack of interest.

For now at least, I am gonna say no I don't think it is. THe overwhelming evidence in the fact that she initiated and responds quickly is an indicator of interest. Stay cool, stay positive, and be yourself. As @thejeweledsleeve advised invest some time in communicating then in a week if you feel a meet is warranted, suggest something to do that's an interest to both of you and preferably that doesn't revolve around food. Consider maybe going bowling, shooting pool, or to bring out the kid in each of you maybe some go-kart racing if they have that in your area and weather permits.

For now, focus on information exchange even if you have to do most of the legwork. She may be one of those who feels she should not have to do any pursuing and if you are truly interested you will do the work, they are tough nuts to crack but its a good exercise for your personality to keep it elevated. When it comes time for meet and greet we can go over ideas on things to do, but right now communication is king and you need to focus on advertising yourself as the great catch you believe yourself to be.

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