Am I rambling like an addict?

[RetroGirl 210]

Ok, so I’m almost 3 weeks out and my relationship with food is just bizarre. I don’t crave it, I don’t really care, and so far I haven’t felt physical hunger - not even once.

That being said, just this week I:

• Cooked curry and traditional Polish potato& meat pie for my parents, then made a chocolate cake for my colleagues at work followed by a lemon meringue tart for the friend I live with
• Watched 5 episodes of Masterchef Australia and a documentary about fast food (how does that even concern me? Obviously I won’t have a pureed take away!).

This is ridiculous. I haven’t tried any of it and didn’t want to, and I can’t really figure out why it is that I’m doing it. Mostly I feel like since I KNOW I can’t have it and WON’T have it no matter what, I can actually enjoy food without eating and the sense of guilt that I usually felt afterwards. It’s like I know it can’t harm me, so I’m safe.

But then I just think I’m like a crack addict and I use this as a substitute for a good old pigout session.

Anyone who can relate to this twisted behaviour?

[jane13 2,256]

@@RetroGirl - I feel like that and it's weird, in a nice kind of way.

[_Kate_ 2,224]

I have been obsessed by watching cookery programs when I have dieted before. Like you I am not sure why I did this and I also cooked a lot too, baked cakes, made huge meals, had people over for dinner etc.

Haven't done it since having the sleeve but its early days!

[RetroGirl 210]

Glad I'm not alone! Still think I need therapy.

Kate, congratulations on your weight loss so far!

[McButterpants 2,846]

After surgery, I became a food pusher. There is an episode of the King of Queens where Kirstey Alley has Carrie eat a donut and tell her how it tastes - yeah, that was me! I kept asking my husband and son if they were hungry. I wasn't hungry. It was weird.

Once I realized what I was doing, I forced myself to stop. One of my favorite things to do on a Sunday morning was watch the food Network - I stopped that. I even stopped cooking for a while. I had to end my unhealthy relationship with food. I guess much like an addict - stop everything cold turkey.

Now, nearing two years post-op, I eat food to fuel my body - I have a healtheir relationship with food. I enjoy it. I try different kinds of foods. It just doesn't rule my world.

[Rebecca Friesen 80]

I surf Pinterest food boards like it's porn!

[RetroGirl 210]

@McButterpants, thanks for sharing that. I think I'll observe myself when I get to 'real food' phase. I'm guessing it might be a bigger challenge than it is now. So if it gets too hard, I'm going to quit!

[haleyk 31]

I'm only 2 weeks out. Idecided to make multiple meals in bulk and made mini muffin tin size entres and froze for later for me. It's a bit crazy and weird that I have to spit out food after tasting to make sure it's seasoned right. I've progressed to ground/pureed stage when I should be cramed soft. Some days I'm not hungry at all and other days i feel very hungry. I don't know why I'm acting so crazy rebelious. I wanted this surgery more than anything and I feel like I'm self sabotaging a bit. Uggg!

[ttdish 315]

I went from constantly thinking about food and what I would eat next..... to being irritated when I feel hungry, because I don't really want to eat. I take very little pleasure out of food/being full now (but in a good way).

It's so crazy!

~*~ Find me on YouTube: Trisha's Sleeve Story ~*~

[BCs 1000 364]

It is weird isn't it? I have felt satisfaction walking through a food court just smelling all of the different foods or by watching someone else eat. It feels like I have actually eaten? So bizarre, in a really good way.