Fat confessionals

[Elode 8,093]

This morning was a weigh in day and as I sat and marveled at the fact that I'm only 6 lbs away from hitting that elusive 100 lb mark I thought about just how much my life has changed in 8 short months. 8 months ago I was starting a new semester In college and it had got to the point to where I could no longer fit into any of my clothes (like, none of them!) I HATED clothes shopping, I hated the whole process of it from the horrific full length mirrors to the equally horrific lighting stores insist on using. So I decided instead of putting myself through the trauma of clothes shopping (I flat out refused to go up anymore in size) I would just buy myself two sets of black 2x scrubs to wear to school. Now, normally that wouldn't seem like such a big deal seeing as how I do wear scrubs for my occupation (nursing) but at the time I wasn't even working. I quit doing contract nursing to go back to school full time. I know nobody ever though anything of it, people just though I had been at work. I never lied or said I had been working it just never came up but I knew. I felt pretty defeated at that point. I knew I had to make a change. I got to the point I really didn't even want to leave the house but I had to go to school. When I think about that and then compare it to the fact that I just went out and bought myself some new scrubs In size MEDIUM ( I really am working again now) after only 8 months it seems like a real life miracle. I'm not sure why I'm really even sharing this but maybe it will give some newbies that are feeling the way I did some hope that it can and will all change. There is a light! I guess I'm just feeling extremely blessed and humbled this morning. So if anyone else would like to share their "fat confessions" I'd love to hear that I'm not the only one that did wacky things Life is good!

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

I love your posts and thank you for sharing! I have been overweight my whole life and after going through a traumatic divorce (ending in a restraining order and other issues), I retreated into solitude and ate more than ever before.

I met the new love of my life in 2010 and we got married 2 years ago. I now want to live longer so I can spend time with him. I want to be healthier so we can do more. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship (14 and 10), and I want to be able to keep up with them!

I also work at a job where I wear scrubs and I couldn't even find scrub pants that fit, so I had to wear knit pants in black with scrub tops. I have now gone down from a 4x to a 2x. It feels great to not feel like I need to try to be invisible as I have my whole life. I feel like a butterfly being re-born. I still have along way to go but my whole confidence level is changing, it is bleeding over into every aspect of my life.

Thank you again for your post and that is my share!

[Elode 8,093]

@@ShrinkingPeach That's wonderful! It is an amazing feeling that you just really can't understand until you've been through it. In a way I feel like we are lucky to get to witness it. There's a lot of struggle in being overweight. It's not easy, this whole process isn't easy either but when you put it all into perspective it's pretty cool. We are given the chance to be "reborn". I definitely feel like a different person. Good luck on your journey!!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@ShrinkingPeach Thanks for sharing that. The last few years with my ex had me so beaten down I didn't really care about my health for years (she was bi-polar). In the four years post divorce I slowly started making better health choices, quit smoking and all tobacco and eventually finding this. It's been a heck of a ride, but I agree, I not only would like to live longer, but want to live better too.

[The Candidate 3,215]

Congrats on your phenomenal success @@Elode

When you spoke of buying the scrubs it reminded me of all those times whenever I found something that actually fit, I'd buy five of them, in different colors! The choices for fat people are so limited. Can't wait until I no longer have to do that!

You are an inspiration! Thanks for sharing!

[Babbs 14,680]

@@The Candidate

I used to do the same thing, lol. I'd have the same shirts but in multiple colors, lol. What's that all about??

[dhrguru 1,238]

My confessions: when my button up shirts for work would no longer button (or on the off chance they did button I'd look like a can of those pillsbury biscuits exploding from the container) i got the bright idea to invest in tank tops and wear the button up shirts open, with the tanks showing. When my suit jackets would no longer button, I convinced myself the jacket was just for style, and didn't need to be buttoned. I also cut the lining out of the pants, cause it was tight and made me sweat excessively.

Oh, and I bought bra extenders rather than admit that I needed a bigger based size in my bras (I eventually relented with that though).

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

On the way to the pool with my husband, nine year old and 13 month old. I don't want to go, but I am. My 9 year old loves me but I know there will come a time she will be embarrassed. As much as I want this for myself, I want to be healthy for my family. My kids. I want to cry as I write this, but can't....

[Elode 8,093]

@@The Candidate Thank you so much! It's a whole new world in the clothes department now. I'm constantly complaining that I don't have anything to wear but now it's because I keep shrinking out of everything!

[The Candidate 3,215]

@ I just want to send you a virtual hug! Your post brought tears to my eyes! You are going to have a long healthy life with your kids!

[Elode 8,093]

@@dhrguru Lol! Yay! I knew I wasn't alone.

[Elode 8,093]

@ No, do not cry! I felt that same way when I was with my kids, I didn't want to embarrass them. My mom is super morbidly obese and one of my earliest memory's was having a parents come to school day which my mother attended ( she is an artist, painter) After she left one of the little kids said something to me about how big my mom was. We were only 5-7 years old. I never realized my mom was different, I just loved her. I remember that really caught me off guard and I went home and cried which in return made my momma cry. I think that kinda stuck with me so When I was at my heaviest I didn't go up to the school unless I absolutely had to. Most of my daughters friends had never met me. A few months ago my daughter was in a "grace notes" competition for school and I got dressed up and went to watch her. After the competition was over on the way home my daughter said "mom you want to hear something funny?" After you left my friend said "I hope this doesn't offend you but your mom looks like a Barbie doll". Ha! Can you believe it??! I just smiled and said "whatever" but on the inside I was fist pumping ! That my friend was one heck of a NSV!!! You too will have your moments, just wait!

[Nurse 52 94]

As I have stated on here before I have had 2 failed lap bands:( With the first one I lost 115lbs:) My daughters made me go shopping with them and I bought a whole new wardrobe. I was sleeved on the 13 and I went into the spare room and moved all my old clothes to the front by size. I feel like a kid waiting to start losing weight again so I can get back into those clothes my daughters helped me pick out

[Elode 8,093]

@ Congratulations! Those are some smart girls you have! Good luck!

[rebirth1029 102]

I am still on the pre op side but my name is how I hope to feel when I reach post op I am very encouraged by the confessions on this forum congrats on all of your pounds down keep up the great work