Jealous Spouse

[Stephanie Stroup McIntosh 157]

I think my husband is jealous.

Edited May 4, 2015 by Stephanie Stroup McIntosh

[Miss Mac 6,261]

That's not petty. It's called a one-sided relationship. What's in it for you? Sounds to me like everything is to his advantage. Years ago, when I showed up at the doctor;s office with an ex hubby- inflicted bruise (the size of a seven ounce steak) on my arm, the doctor asked me, "Why are you still there?" So even if that is not the nature of your displeasure, it is still a question worth asking yourself. You apparently have the advantage of being able to support yourself, so just be honest with yourself. Would you be better off with him or without him?

There is no point in staying just to be a baby sitter for his ex-wife. If the marriage is worth counseling, then go see a counselor. If he doesn't want to go, that further proves your point and shows you where he stands on the effort he is willing to put into the marriage. LIfe is too short to stay with a jerk.

Bariatric surgery has a way of exposing the raw dynamics of a relationship. He has shown you that he has no sympathy for you and still expects you to be his waitress and mother. Make you a list of pros and cons, and then will know what to do. There is no point in perpetuating a mistake. Your surgery is giving you a new lease on life and you deserve to enjoy it.

[gofigure 56]

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't really have any suggestions, other than to say that you don't deserve to be treated that way. Your husband sounds like an asshole.

Based on your description, you're not financially dependent on the guy and don't have kids of your own with him. You should treat yourself to a nice, relaxing vacation with the time off you have left. Maybe spending time alone will make him realize that you're not his mother/housekeeper and he doesn't get to act like a jerk because he's miserable.

Sorry if I'm being overly harsh. As a woman who is the primary earner in my household, with a fantastic and incredibly supportive husband, I just have no patience for man children who take their insecurities out on the women who love them. In any case, I wish you the best.

[Cars 27]

He sounds like a spoiled brat. Seriously. It sounds like you're more of his mother/ Maid. I would say he's jealous but he has been doing this for quite some time. What about his kids? Are they not able to help out? Do they have chores? Make a list for each kid to do everyday. I know love doesn't disappear over night, but he better watch out you don't run into a man who will treat you like a queen you deserve to be. Believe me it can happen right when you're not expecting it. Hang in there. You got this. I wish you the best in you're weight lost. Maybe you can visit Hawaii someday? Good luck .

[VSGmary 418]

I am a little perplexed with answering this one to be completely honest. What is it that you think he is jealous of? Is it that you had the surgery and he didn't? Is it because you are taking charge if your health and finally taking care of you ? Is it because you are starting to look amazing and he is jealous of others looking at you? Have you changed in your behaviour ie more confident etc? A bit more info would enable us to give you some advice. For all we know it could be your fault in not involving him in the process etc, i cant and wont pre judge his actions when we don't know what has caused you to think he is jealous etc. sorry :/

[emma4884 81]

VSGMary, the original post has been removed by OP. It contained multiple paragraphs detailing her grievances. Like many of us who have posted while in the throes of emotional pain, she may have later decided to seek redress in a more private way.

I wish her success finding the joyful, loving and healthy life she deserves.

[jane13 2,256]

I spent 12 years with a jealous man who was not faithful, verbally abusive and would punch walls or throw things. The father of my only two kids and I had to get my children and walk...took me learning the hard way but I did it. My parents were alcoholics that fought and beat the crap out of each other. I am thankful to have survived that and then I married one! At 29 I realized that I had two young kids to raise and I didn't want them to think people lived like I had with my parents. My children never saw what their Dad did to me but the holes in the walls was proof. It was scary to leave but liberating at the same time. This is a decision SHE has to make on her own or she will go back (or work thinks out) every time until SHE is ready unfortunately.

[VSGmary 418]

@@emma4884 thanks, that makes sense now, i was quite confused seeing others responding the way they had!