It's not the failure that kills you...it's the giving up that will!

[I Can and I Will 29]

I was blessed to have people who supported (and paided) for me to get this tool...gastric sleeve in August 2009. I want to say it here and now, do not step away from this forum when you are feeling good and that all is done. Do not let the embarrassment, shame or even despair keep you away AND if you are new to the forum, please be aware it can happen and always, ALWAYS come back.

So here is my deal, I have gained 57 lb. back...totally walked away thinking I've got this and then life continues to happen. I would occasionally come back to the forum; however, was embarrassed because there were discussions about putting 5 or even 10 lbs. back on which made me feel that I really really messed up and feeling like a major failure. So, this is my way of overcoming my first obstacle...my pride AND we all need to talk about the reality WHEN it happens. Now, I'm not saying it is going to happen to everyone...truly, I am only saying WHEN so for those of us it does happen to we have a place to come back and not be humiliated or called out. Does that make sense???

I use food to deal with stress, anxiety and all that other junk...LOL. I want to put a caution out there...I had the food sort of under control and then have come to the realization that alcohol was now my new friend and over a period of the last 3 years the weight started coming back on and then guess what, I noticed one day my eating habits were right back where I started.

I am grateful for the ability to have an area to come and begin again. It is my hopes to not scare anyone, I'm not a negative nelly either! Most of my friends see me as being a very positive person and yes, that is pressure as well....LOL.

Today, I am behaving like I had my surgery yesterday. I'm scared, cautious and freaked out about what I will put in my body...LOL. The beauty is I know I can do this...one sip at a time. Okay...enough for now, have tears streaming down my face, laughing and glad to be back here....

[Joz31 90]

Welcome back and congratulations on recognizing that you cannot do it alone. Each person has their own unique journey in this process. Keep your eyes on the goal and you will do fantastic!

[UK Cathy 977]

Welcome back, stay and don't leave - even when you are back at the place you want to be. I'm 3 years post op, still not at the place I want to be weight wise, some gain too. I can see how alcohol can be the new 'friend' and I purposely keep an eye on that as there are others who have reported on here how so easily it replaced their friend food.

What is your plan of attack, are you going to go Protein drinks for a few days, log using myfitnesspal, low carb, no alcohol? You have done this before and you know what works for you.

I need this site, I lurk more than I post but I pick up valuable tips and advice and there is a group of people I can call on if I need help.

There is the vets part of the site but I'm a bit unsure on what the conditions are for posting there. I think you have to be so many months post op and have a certain number of postings. Vets post there about their struggles and successes.

Take it one day at a time, we can't change what we did yesterday, we don't know what is going to happen tomorrow but we can plan and alter things during today so that by the end of it we can say to ourselves "it might not be perfect but I tried my best".

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

What you say is SOOOOOOO true. Everyday it seems I read on here how people just assume the surgery is the end-all of their struggle....but NO! It is still just a tool, and if left UNUSED it will not work!!!!!

Love you, love your post, love the HOPE you give us all.....bless you, my dear, and THANK YOU for putting it out there!!!

[miller1109 116]

Yay! Better late then never! Welcome back!

[I Can and I Will 29]

Yeah????????????????...so my plan of attack...may be drastic; however, following the plan I did right after my surgery with a few additions. Clear liquids and walking each day. Just got back from my first mile walk....OMG! My hips are stressed...it's amazing how you begin to be aware of aches and pains after not paying attention????

Additionally, the day has gone over all really smooth...it's funny how I'm not hungry (as they told me originally) and how that little voice in my head is silent...LOL. I appreciate the welcome back for sure....nice to not be alone????????

[Babbs 14,680]

Thanks for your advice and honesty. I find posts like these help keep me grounded and in check. I am still in the honeymoon period where although the weight loss is slow, I'm at least still losing. I know it won't always be this way, and posts like yours always remind me to always be diligent in my eating and exercise, even when I don't feel like it. The minute I let up, I am in danger of all my old unhealthy habits coming back to derail everything I've worked so hard for. I intend to stay on these boards as long as I possibly can to keep me in check

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

Yes, it seems that most of us drift away from BP once we attain our goals or get close to our goals. We assume we're done. But from what I can see, once you've been obese, you do not become "normal" once you reach normal weight. You become "formerly obese," and that's a much less stable status than "normal". Just as I know that if my eating habits change significantly, my diabetes will return, that is also true for my weight. I hope we all stick around BP to remind each other of all the possible outcomes of our choices and to support each other through the failures and successes.

[Edavidson 84]

I have a terrible fear of going back to my old eating habits. I am a stress eater as well and I take

care of my 87 year old mother. I stay stressed all of the time and I want to eat all of the time. I have to fight everyday. I am so proud of you for sharing your story, "I Can and I Will". You will be

able to get back on track and this site is the best place to get encouragement. I hope that I will

be able to get to my goal weight. I still have 50 lbs. to lose and the end of my journey seems so

far off. If I didn't have this site to go to I don't think I could make it. Welcome back and stay

strong, you did it once and you can do it again. Good luck.

[Bluesea71 698]

I am 13 months out from surgery (at goal weight) and frequent the BP boards for the exact reasons you stated. I agree that it is way too easy to become relaxed once you are at maintenance and let old habits creep in. I find "checking in" daily helps me with accountability and even though reading the same posts over and over again from the newbies about hair loss, Protein intake, incision care, the best Protein drinks to buy, Vitamins making them sick, etc. gets really boring after awhile, I'm also reminded of the rules over and over again that I should be following that I sometimes have become relaxed on! Reading these posts and sharing my experience helps keep me on track! I help them to help me!

Sadly, it becomes all too common for those of us farther out from surgery to abandon the support of these boards. I think that is a BIG MISTAKE. The reality is there IS truth to a honeymoon phase. There will come a time were you will stop losing weight. There will come a time where you can eat whatever you want. I chuckle every time I read a post from someone who just had surgery worried that they can hardly eat anything. Now with that being said, I can now sit in a restaurant and eat like a "normal" person but my new normal is far from where I was pre-surgery. I know how big my new tummy is and I don't try and eat beyond it's capability. I still get a full feeling after eating 3/4-1 cup of food. Certain foods now make me feel sick (sandwiches) so I avoid them. I didn't come into this process with food addiction issues (PCOS contributed to my weight gain) so I had one less thing to make the process difficult. With that being said, I even find old habits starting to creep in. My tendency not to plan meals ahead of time and eat on the go was a biggie for me. I was finding myself eating out more than a few times this past week. These extra calories will add up over time. I'm being extra vigilant planning meals ahead of time this week. We all need to take a look at what contributed to our weight gain. Especially those dealing with food addiction issues. It is common to substitute one addiction for another. What I can say, is losing weight has been the easy part in this process for me. I was able to get to my goal weight without issue. What I wasn't prepared for was the process I would go through in accepting my new body. I still view my body with a fat lens at times and its only when I see myself in photographs that I realize how much weight I've lost!

Anyway.... Welcome back! There's no judging here. The fact that you came back and made your post shows how committed you are. I applaud you for sharing your experience with others. Let the newbies learn from our mistakes. We will continue to pick ourselves up and carry on. This is a ongoing journey that never ends. We are all here to support you. ????

Edited May 4, 2015 by Bluesea71

[Bluesea71 698]

Yes, it seems that most of us drift away from BP once we attain our goals or get close to our goals. We assume we're done. But from what I can see, once you've been obese, you do not become "normal" once you reach normal weight. You become "formerly obese," and that's a much less stable status than "normal". Just as I know that if my eating habits change significantly, my diabetes will return, that is also true for my weight. I hope we all stick around BP to remind each other of all the possible outcomes of our choices and to support each other through the failures and successes.

Funny... In my profession I work with a lot of people in recovery. Your posting reminded me of how sober people in recovery programs such as AA still refer to themselves as alcoholics. I think it is SO true of us too. we could be known as FF's FORMER FATTIES! LOL. All silliness aside, it's so true, there are issues we will be dealing with for the rest of our lives to maintain "sobriety" very similar to an alcoholic in sobriety. Those dealing with food addiction issues may benefit from the support Overeaters Anonymous (OA) can offer.

[I Can and I Will 29]

LOL...i totally can relate to recovery...I too use to work in the field many years ago and remember people kinda laughed a food addiction????. I absolutely have been saying today...GOD, GRANT THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THING I CAN NOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!

Thank you for the friendly share...we know this;-) it works if ya work it????????????????????????

[vincereautmori 323]

You said it all in your title, we only fail when we surrender to our weaknesses. But by coming back, asking for support, and renewing your determination, its clear you are not going to surrender to your latest challenge. Everytime you meet and conquer a challenge, you gain something powerful, you are stronger than before. I chose my screen name that is my mantra, to motivate me through the tough times, vincere aut mori= latin for conquer or die. You can do this, again, and you will be stronger for it.

Edited May 5, 2015 by vincereautmori

[LousPeachy 100]

It's like alcoholism. You will ALWAYS be an alcoholic but you are a recovering one. They say now (took them long enough) that obesity is a DISEASE. We will never be cured of that disease but we CAN keep it under control.

WELCOME BACK!

[CJFW 23]

Hi I am a recent returner to the site. Thanks for the encouragement. I won't repost my details. You can see them in my recent new post. 5 years out needing help to get back on track. Keep the faith and sip slowly.