Venting About Poor Forum Etiquette

[beachgurl84 456]

This rant has been building for quite a while in my head. There are things happening on this forum that are driving me insane. First though, I want to point out that this is about no person in particular. If you think I'm talking about you, I probably am but not intentionally, it just means you've been doing one of these things.

1. READ PEOPLE - I have read quite a few threads lately where people are arguing with the OP or the OPs supporters and even name calling for no reason other than they can. They want attention and interrupt intelligent conversations with their belligerent views that are usually entirely irrelevant to the original topic. I firmly believe you can say anything you want, it’s how you say it that matters. Arguing with someone for the sake of argument and then calling out that it’s a free country and you can say what you want only emphasizes the fact that you have no business other than seeking attention. If your point were valid, you wouldn’t need to defend it with “because I can”. If you truly want to argue against the OP’s view point, use intelligent arguments and refrain from taking anything personally. No one is here to bully anyone else and jumping to conclusions only serves to interrupt what otherwise might be useful information.

2. GRAMMAR!!!!!! Seriously! Most people on here are pretty good about using complete sentences and proper punctuation, but there are some that make me cringe like this……

• Can yall tell me what kind of Protein u drink cause my dr said I need protein and I want to lose as much as possible and Ive been slow so far so I think I need more protein and if u could tell me that would be great cause there telling me to get it from Walmart but I dunno what flavor I want

BTW – that was entirely made up as an example and not quoted in any way.

OMG SERIOUSLY!!! I don’t even respond to post like this because I would immediately start venting about the way it’s written.GO BACK TO SCHOOL if you think this is appropriate!I do not claim to be perfect.I am sure I have made grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes but at least I try.I proofread before I post and I make an effort to make sure my posts are readable.If your posting is similar to this, don’t expect a response from me.

3. Not doing your research – This forum has been open for years! The question you have has probably been asked a thousand times. I’m sure I even asked some of the same questions in the beginning. But, it seems like more and more lately we (I see the same group of people responding regularly) are answering the same questions over and over. What kind of protein, how much, exercise, etc. If you would just do a search for the topic you want to discuss before posting a new thread, we could keep everyone active and probably spread some great information. Instead we have 15 different people asking if they should weigh every day and we have the same people answering all 15. I do agree some threads are so old that none of the members are active anymore. However, many of the main topics are being discussed by current members and don’t need to be reiterated in a new post just because you want to be the one asking the question. If you find the thread that has your topic, just follow it and you’ll be able to access for future reference. Or unfollow it if you got what you need! Also, if you do ask a new question, don’t be vague. Don’t ask how much you should weigh if you haven’t provided your gender, height, lifestyle, etc. Google is good at vague, try that if you have no other information.

There’s my rant. Just typical crap that I’m sure every forum suffers through. Thanks for reading.

Edited to correct numbers

Edited April 1, 2015 by beachgurl84

[une nouvelle vie 327]

My own personal rant is when people make a numbered list and use the same number for each point. Well all have our crosses to bear, I suppose.

[beachgurl84 456]

My own personal rant is when people make a numbered list and use the same number for each point. Well all have our crosses to bear, I suppose.

HAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

B-pal kept freezing on me so I typed that in word and copied/paste. I guess the numbers didn't paste over correctly and I didn't catch it. See, I'm not perfect

Will edit now to fix.

[Babbs 14,680]

I have the same beefs, but guess what? It's not going to change things. People will still continue to be...ahem....people.

Good rant, though

[emma4884 81]

Yes, it is easier to read a post with good grammar. However some people have not had the opportunity to learn good grammar. They should feel comfortable here anyway. This isn't Harvard Law Review.

Perhaps you could consider blocking posts from members whose grammar continually offends you.

I think most folks here have already experienced enough criticism and are here looking for a safe place to become more informed.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

<~~~~~~~~tiptoes out quietly.

[Crosby 303]

Bad grammar doesn't bother me too much. I am certainly guilty of not paying attention to grammar at times. But I stop reading posts few words in where people are to lazy to actually write words versus text.

And the laziness continues for those that fail to research and want answers spoon fed to them. I read everything I could find on RNY well before surgery and I am blown away by folks who had this surgery with little research. And yes if you post on not knowing why you are stuck at three weeks you have not gone proper research. There is so much great information available it is inexcusable to not be prepared.

[beachgurl84 456]

@@emma4884

I have to disagree with your statement about not having the opportunity to learn. If they have the internet available to post on this site, they have the internet available to learn. It is a lack of effort and laziness on their part that results in posts similar to my example. Ignorance is not an excuse when we have a world of knowledge at our fingertips.

That being said, I am not "offended" by people for mistakes or errors when it's obvious care was taken to present a readable post.

Even reading your post it's obvious you took care to complete your sentences and use proper punctuation. I believe if you are going to be present in an online community, it is only appropriate to do these things. This is no different than dressing for work or church or any other social function. Our posts on this forum are the visual representation of ourselves.

I agree people don't need more criticism than they already receive. That is why I stated I don't respond to those post and instead I vented about it in the rants and raves section without calling anyone out. Yes, I hope 1 or 2 of those posters may see my post and realize their mistakes. But they may do that privately without fear of judgement.

Edited April 1, 2015 by beachgurl84

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

I guess I am one of those who doesn't mind answering questions, because I was there once, as well. So it takes up a bit of time. I've been sick this past month, so what else do I have to do? If I can help someone, I will. My problem. If I can't take the time to help, what does that make me? When I first started on this site, I didn't know about the search option, so I didn't use it. I admit I am pretty naïve about computer crap. And I don't wish to get too educated on it, either! I also try and answer those questions, if I can, that no one else seems to reply to, and that is because I don't want anyone to feel abandoned. This surgery stuff is very scary, even for us who have been operated on dozens of times. It's a scary thing to go it alone. Stupid to do it? Patient enough to care? Wasting my time? Mine to waste, mine to care, NEVER alone...

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Bad grammar and even bad spelling I can overlook. It's the netspeak that is chalk on the blackboard for me.

*sigh*

What are going to do? All those things you listed will continue to happen.

[beachgurl84 456]

I

I guess I am one of those who doesn't mind answering questions, because I was there once, as well. So it takes up a bit of time. I've been sick this past month, so what else do I have to do? If I can help someone, I will. My problem. If I can't take the time to help, what does that make me? When I first started on this site, I didn't know about the search option, so I didn't use it. I admit I am pretty naïve about computer crap. And I don't wish to get too educated on it, either! I also try and answer those questions, if I can, that no one else seems to reply to, and that is because I don't want anyone to feel abandoned. This surgery stuff is very scary, even for us who have been operated on dozens of times. It's a scary thing to go it alone. Stupid to do it? Patient enough to care? Wasting my time? Mine to waste, mine to care, NEVER alone...

Ok, you have a good point about those that might not be as comfortable with search options or computer savvy knowledge. That I can overlook. And actually, the main thing that bugs me is that we could all benefit from keeping some threads concentrated into one thread instead of 15 different ones. If everyone posted their opinion on one thread, then everyone on that thread could see it. But if some post here, and some post there, and some more post over there, then we may not see everything and could be missing out on valuable information. I try to respond or read a lot of them even if they are repeats, and I've seen a few others that do the same. I just wish we could centralize some of the main topics I guess. I love the new forum about stalls, that's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. It may be multiple threads, but at least there is a central location to discuss something almost everyone questions at some point. Maybe in the future more will pop up like that as topics become obvious (i.e. To weigh or not to weigh)

[beachgurl84 456]

I have to add one more thing about the grammar. It's not typos or misspellings that bug me, it’s mostly the misuse of words (an for and) or the sentences/questions that never end. Use a period for crying out loud! Ok, that’s all for that.

Babbs....totally agree

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I believe if you are going to be present in an online community, it is only appropriate to do these things. This is no different than dressing for work or church or any other social function.

Aaaaannnnd I am going to jump in. (I am sure I am going to regret this.)

I am a total grammar queen. Nothing makes me crazier than the wrong your/you're, to/two/too, etc. except maybe text talk. Loose/lose, sale/sell. their/they're/there...GAHHHHHH!!! I don't even allow my kids to use bad grammar/text talk when texting.

That said, when it comes to public forums, I have to put my biases away. I have to realize that I am very fortunate to have had a good education, teachers who forced me to use good grammar and the knowledge to know the difference. Some people are completely ignorant of their errors. It makes me crazy and I do judge them in my head, but I would never do so out loud. To me, that's just mean. I may criticize your thought process and I may criticize your tone and manner of speaking, but I have no right to judge your lack of ability to communicate to my standards.

This is not a college class, this is not a business forum, this is not a a job interview. I care much more about how one treats another being more than I care about the words they use when doing so.

Now if you want to rant about that cursive font, I'm all over that.

[une nouvelle vie 327]

Yes, it is easier to read a post with good grammar. However some people have not had the opportunity to learn good grammar. They should feel comfortable here anyway. This isn't Harvard Law Review.

Perhaps you could consider blocking posts from members whose grammar continually offends you.

I think most folks here have already experienced enough criticism and are here looking for a safe place to become more informed.

This is so perfectly stated and true (in my opinion) that I had to quote it in its entirety.

I don't come around here that much anymore and part of that is because of some of the backbiting and criticism just for the sake of complaining that I've witnessed. I truly believe that most people are doing the best they can based on the knowledge they have and it's sad to me that we have those who want to complain about grammar of all things. Some people are struggling right where they are in life and we have people who want them to use the internet to educate themselves about grammar before they'll deign to answer their questions.

So many things I'd like to say on it but why add more negativity? Instead I'll thank you again @@emma4884, for your kind response.

[beachgurl84 456]

Ok I agree with all of you that this is just a forum and not Harvard or a business class........but........it's not just this forum I'm particularly referring to. I actually had to put effort into creating a poorly written paragraph because I use proper grammar everywhere else. It's habit. So if they're writing like this on this forum, it's my opinion this is how they are presenting themselves in all aspects.

I don't believe in coddling people and their ignorance because they never had an opportunity to learn. The world is at their fingertips and if they don't know they're doing something wrong, they can't fix it. Encouraging it to continue because "they don't know better" does more harm than good.