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My suggestion is to ignore it all. If someone has the common courtesy to talk to you directly, my opinion is tell them the truth. I have been floored by how nice and supportive people who find out have been. I tell people that it is not a secret, but it is private. I ask that if someone else brings it up, they suggest the person talk with me about it.

Hiding it suggests it is shameful. Decide for yourself that this is the best course of action for you and you will develop the strength to be unapologetic about it.

You may want to talk with your boss. Having him/her in the loop allows them to be supportive when you don't behave or look like you used to. You can tell them you are concerned about gossip and ask their advice. If they aren't a trustworthy person, i would do as others suggest and speak with HR.

You are doing the right thing and taking control of your health. let that consume your time and energy rather than worries about things you have no control over - like other people's gossip and opinions.

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Nobody's business. Tell them hernia repair surgery which you may have anyways. Hiatal hernia. The diet you are on is still needed to shrink your liver to make surgery easier.

Then diet afterwards as your doctor and nutritionist told you to. Which is also true

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Omg!!! My heart fell when I read u feel like a snake about it how awful pls don't feel that way u owe these ppl no explanations about your personal health decisions telling them will likely only fuel gossip and unwanted comments causing u stress at a time u least need such nonsense now of course ppl will talk regardless about something or someone and if they do it afterward they will only look and sound like the jealous donkeys they are acting like remember this is not easy as some ppl like to say I've told a few ppl that if they think it's so easy they should try it and then we can talk about why they think it's so easy until then they should keep their opinions to themselves and shut the f**k up!!!

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As a retired supervisor of federal employees, I would have said.........My health is not up for discussion. Now get back to work.

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If they don't share their medical history with you don't share yours with them! Just tell them I am doing me, now you do you!

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Thanks all :) and I'm sorry for hijacking the original posters post.

My last diet doc is in February. So I haven't had anyone say anything YET. Except a few people who told me to "live a little! It's Christmas!"

My next weigh in is this Wednesday. EEEK Christmas Cookies, sure enough, crept in a little. AND I'm bloated because of my dear monthly visitor.

Maybe I'm anticipating too much criticism from work peeps. Generally, I'm the office pep-talker and I don't have any enemies at all. I just work with a bunch of 20 something's (I'm 29), and they are all so--invincible in their youth or something. I swear I went from 21 to 35 somehow. Lol.

I'm really mostly worried about my I -laws. I feel like I just don't have to tell anyone at work except my supervisor who is great, but IS kind of gossipy but she sort of has to be.

I figure, I might as well not tell Anyone at all til I know I'm approved and it's scheduled. By then, there won't be time for talking about the (thousands) of alternatives everyone thinks will work if I just "try really hard" and "put my mind to it"

But seriously--last thing--I'm practicing everything now so it's not such an adjustment. And omg, not drinking for 30 minutes before and after meals--hardest thing ever. I gave up cigarettes AND caffiene way easier lol.

I hope everyone has a great day! We got super super snowed in and iced over today--so my cardio will be a breeze--I just have to shovel lol.

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For the millionth time, I truly do not understand why people feel *compelled* to tell their entire extended families about their WLS.

If you're truly someone who doesn't give a flying F**K what others think, then go for it. You're just that kind of person and no one's comments or behavior will bother you.

But if you're worried that family members' comments and behavior are going to aggravate and irritate you and bring you down during your weight loss and maintenance journey, then don't tell them.

As an exercise, make a long list of all the other stuff you don't feel compelled to tell all your relatives. Do you really feel like not telling them those things is "dishonest" -- or are those things simply none of your relatives' business?

Know your own needs and your relatives' shortcomings. And respect them.

Edited by VSGAnn2014

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I told a select few before I had the surgery and then 3 weeks after I told the world via Facebook. I didn't care what they thought at that point and really I only got one negative comment back to me. I didn't have any reason to hide it. I figure I could have helped ONE person I know in their journey to lose or even just to give confidence to admit something that may not be the "IDEAL" choice for most. I feel a billion times better after telling everyone. I am a stay at home mom though so workwise I have no help :(

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You're right ann, I agree. Which is why I have opted not to tell anyone anything lol. My body, my health, my reasons.

I'm hoping I can skate by my supervisor with a "stomach surgery" or something discreet when I ask for time off.

Otherwise--I just don't feel like it. I feel like people will get worried about me and my shrinking, but I'll deal with that as it comes lol

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I just made an almost identical post to yours yesterday about drama in the workplace because I want my business private. I hear from some that everyone thinks I'm pregnant but no one will ask (even if I am ok) . All they care about is how long I will be on desk duty. Frankly it's a joy to me ( now) that I know and they do not have the privilege.

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Well, the first thing you should do really is determine what your company policy is around workplace gossip and rumors? It could be viewed as creating a hostile work environment, which is never fun for anyone. Contact your local HR rep. and explain the situation to them and listen to what they have to say, as a manager, I love getting sound advice from my HR rep.

I was also going to suggest speaking to the HR rep. :)

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Have a baby shower and get some gifts

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Lol, that sounds like a great idea.

Although, I'm afraid they're going to think I'm on drugs once I start losing. I fear they'll stage an intervention lol

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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