female only How did your weight loss affect your marriage/relationship?

[majorsmama 91]

Hi ladies,

I'm just wondering how everyone's weight loss affected their marriage. Did it improve things? Make things worse? Did it bring forth issues that you didn't realize were there? Has anyone gotten divorced post-surgery?

[iceciley 6]

Well this response u a little premature, however I feel that this may bring up issues later on post surgery. When we got married 5 years ago I was "chubby" now two kids and over 80 pounds later I'm just really overweight. But my husband is continually making comments to the effect that I will lose my butt and breast and that he NEEDS curves and I'm going to be to skinny for him. With every appointment that I have the comments just keep rolling. I hope once he sees me thinner and more active and healthy he will fall in love with me all over again!

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

I have been married for over 20 years. We have a solid relationship before wls. I'm always amazed that he has been my biggest cheerleader. He has always believed in me. He is letting me spread my wings and fly. Yes, he has had some insecure moments. He has told me the weight loss is nice but to have me happy and involved in my life is a greater thing. We are like teenagers again. Yesterday he asked me to marry him again. This has been positive for our marriage.

[Elode 8,093]

My hubs has been supportive from the go and I don't foresee that changing..communication is always key in our relationship...sometimes I think one of us should just shut up! He's my BFF ha!

[teacherlady2133 258]

Married 16 years... My husband has been Very supportive, but there has been issues.. One comes from others... He gets very upset when others say I bet he is so excited and happy, or what does your husband think... He takes them questioning that he loved me heavy.. Or that now he loves me more since I am thinner..

Something else I think has happened is how to handle my new interest or new experiences I want to have.. Sometimes the tension of doing things together where I want to try things and he wants to watch is there...

The emotions of all the physical changes can also causes tension.. My own tears still over clothes fitting right. He is kind and tries to understand I have good days and bad days no matter my size...

He tells me everyday I am his world and anything that will keep me here longer was worth everything we go through...we did this for my health... And it has gotten so much better...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

62 pounds later, hubby is as sweet as he ever was. But he does admire my ass a little more often.

Seriously, he's a doll. We adore each other and always have.

[vanessak8 158]

My husband met me thin and loved me fat... However in all fairness, I was checked out. I worked and I did the things necessary to keep things in order at home, but I was unhappy and tired all the time. I never wanted to leave the house because I hated to get dressed and it made me down right angry at everyone!!!

Yet, he loved me inspire of all that. He never made me feel bad and as a matter of fact he often told me how beautiful he still thought I was.

Now 122 pounds less I'm happier and I know that impacts him in a positive way, but since he never uttered a negative thing before it's hard to tell.... So I asked him.

He said its hard not to notice the physical and emotional changes and then he said to me I didn't realize how much I missed wrapping you up in my arms... Like all the way around you. ❤️❤️❤️I am sure that I am married to the most wonderful person in the world. We have been married 18 years.

Edited January 4, 2015 by vanessak8

[allyray 108]

My husband met me thin and loved me fat... However in all fairness, I was checked out. I worked and I did the things necessary to keep things in order at home, but I was unhappy and tired all the time. I never wanted to leave the house because I hated to get dressed and it made me down right angry at everyone!!!

Yet, he loved me inspire of all that. He never made me feel bad and as a matter of fact he often told me how beautiful he still thought I was.

Now 122 pounds less I'm happier and I know that impacts him in a positive way, but since he never uttered a negative thing before it's hard to tell.... So I asked him.

He said its hard not to notice the physical and emotional changes and then he said to me I didn't realize how much I missed wrapping you up in my arms... Like all the way around you. ❤️❤️❤️I am sure that I am married to the most wonderful person in the world. We have been married 18 years.

This is just wonderful to read! You've got a keeper there!

[NikkiDoc 312]

A friend had lap band and lost 80 pounds. Her husband was a jerk. He had been cheating on her for years with various women. The weight loss gave her the self confidence to finally kick is ass to the curb.

[allyray 108]

Today, I could pick up and leave, but this is a rare day. Fighting the anxiety thst comes along with my eldest son graduating and heading off to university and all the emotions that come with that and my darling hisband wondering what the big deal is.. That coupled with my upcoming surgery, has me wound right up! So ... Lol

[Katie Loesch-Meyer 71]

No surgery yet, but my husband did express some concerns. Mainly about safety.But when I mentioned all the cute lingerie I'd be able to fit into he got more on board. He loves lingerie

that sounded weird. He loves ME to wear lingerie, lol! And I havne't worn any in years because I'm sorry, it just isn't sexy on me at this point.

[Swampdoggie 477]

Been married 25 years. Athletic and average weight for the first 10 or so. Gaining since. Compounded by having been sick sick sick. DH never said a word, only support, whatever I needed, even when I was so sick and in bed he made spaghetti and tacos for the kids 30 days in a row. He's excited that I'm losing and now able to do more things with him and the family. I've also been getting well (AT LAST) and feeling myself for the first time in YEARS!! Still on mega antibiotics (this last time since June) but killing the bugs and doing better. Love my DH!

[Swampdoggie 477]

Katie, you made me laugh out loud.

[teacherlady2133 258]

I have been married 16 years and to be honest the closer I get to goal the harder things are getting between us. We have always been best friends and he married me heavy and loved me no matter what.. Now that I am 165lbs lighter there has been some real insecurity issues in both of us popping up.. Me in my looks and what others think and see.. He has the same issues about me but doesn't know how to deal with it... Last night we talked about how he never had to worry about me getting hit on or talked to by other guys.. I laughed because of my own issues can't image men talking to me...but the truth is guys are starting to talk to me.. They do seem to be more ready to open doors or say hi as I walk in places...

I love my husband and have never ever wanted this attention from anyone but him... I saw a different side of him last night and how he doesn't know how to be excited about the changes without feeling his own insecurities about himself...

We vowed to keep talking to keep working on how to react to this major change in our life and what it means for each other...I think that is such a key... Talk, talk, talk.... And see this not a one-sided change...

[HaddocksEyes 205]

It has minorly affected things. I have been more adamant that my husband stop smoking (yes, I am still after him about that!). I look like I will be around for a long time (labs are really good) and if he keeps up with what he is doing, he won't. He has a family history of smoking and cancer.

I have been married for 20 years.