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Hello everybody. My name is Fernanda, I am 108 kg and 1,77 m. My fat percentage is 35. Since I can remember, I struggle with my body fat. Let's say, 12 years old (I am now 23). I have been visiting doctors and nutritionists and trying every method you can imagine. Recently, I came across a thyroid disfunction, which made me easily gain more than 10 kg. I am now treating it, but as you can imagine, I am very unhappy for a long time with my body.

I am determined to have a weight loss surgery. My doctor, nutritionist and psychiatrist said they will recommend it to my health insurance. However, my parents are not supportive at all. They say I will put my life in risk, during the surgery and after it.

Well... I came across this app, and I have seen so many of you helping each other, I just thought I might give it a try. Can someone give me an opinion, should I go for the surgery or not?

Thanks a lot!

Regards, Fernanda

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I say if your physician, nutritionist , and psychiatrist all recommend it and you want it then go for it! Your parents will get over it ! I understand them being worried about it but they should be just as concerned with your health being overweight. You are grown, you make the decisions now.

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make sure you research your options . I decided to have lapband after looking at the options losing a large portion of my stomach permenantly was not favored and more invasive surgery than I felt safe with. RNY is also extremey invasive . The lapband for me was the easiest surgery to recover from I was back to normal within a week and have not had any problems. Good Luck to you In whatever path you take.

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Im banded 3 years this week . I recovered quickly, started losing weight right away, and my 60 lbs, sleep apnea and digestive problems are gone forever. As far as "putting your life at risk " , you're already at risk by being obese. The problem of being overweight 24/7 are far more risky that a surgery and a healthy life afterwards. If your Dr.s think it's a good idea, and you've done your research, go for it !

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Fernanda,

It's hard when those around you don't understand why you want this surgery. My mom and sister were against it. So was my best friend. But you have to do what you think is right for you. Research all the types of surgery and see what you think is best for you. If your doctors are on board they must think it would be helpful to you. From my prospective I discussed it with my surgeon, went to dozens of classes at my hospital and decided I needed this tool. It resolved health problems that I had. It is hard at the beginning but well worth it. I have not been so healthy in a long, long time. You are the only one that can make the final decision. Have happy holidays.

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A big question is do you live with your parents? I live hours a way so it was easier on me as far as telling my family. In fact, my mother is the ONLY person in my family who knows and only my closest friends here know. It is a personal choice....NOT the choice of anyone else, no matter how hard it may be to feel you are going against them. You will feel better physically and the issues this creates with your parents will more then likely mend as they see you become healthier. If your healthcare team is behind you, I say GO FOR IT!!

Edited by JillC878

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parents not supportive .They say I will put my life in risk

@@fernanda.markus

you are so positive that you want to go ahead with surgery

stick to your guns :unsure:

you are not alone with your problem concerning your parents :mellow:

i have seen many others on the board in your situation

parents/family/friends are concerned their might be a problem during surgery :(

they love you, and its nice/ok to be concerned :rolleyes:

bring your parents to talk to one of your docs, and then another

they can explain that surgery is a very good option for you :)

they shouldn't "overly" worry

look into finding a specific surgery for the procedure :)

bring them to a informative seminar concerning surgery

there minds should be put at ease :)

any surgery has risks :)

when you cross the street, you are also taking risks :huh:

if after everything is said and done - parents are still not happy about surgery,

i'm sure that you have the courage and strength to go ahead with the surgery

it is your life

my surgery changed and saved my life B)

probably will help your life lllllots too

good luck

happy holidays

kathy

Edited by proudgrammy

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Do you have hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) where the thyroid gland doesn't produce enough important hormones? This can lead to a number of health problems including obesity, joint pain, infertility and heart disease. I did a quick search on the internet and came across the following link https://healthunlocked.com/thyroiduk/posts/130183514/hypothyroid-and-had-weight-loss-surgery-ie-gastric-bypass-band-gastric-sleeve-duodenal-switch-etc-read-here-then

I am not an expert with this condition. From your posts, I would guess that you reside in Europe. I had RNY gastric bypass surgery 19 months ago and I am very pleased with the results. But the program here in the States is very integrated with a Vitamin regime. They test our blood periodically and ensure that we are getting the proper amount of Vitamins. This is critical because after RNY, our bodies do not produce some Vitamins from food and they must be supplemented. If this is not monitored, this can quickly lead to a Vitamin deficiency and a variety of health issues. Scanning through some of these posts on the linked U.K. website, it appears that perhaps in Europe, they may have ignored this.

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Since you are the one who will suffer the consequences of morbid obesity, this should 100% be your decision - not your parents. It is called morbid obesity for a reason; as the weight starts to suck away your quality of life, it eventually kills people before their time.

If you don't think you can do this with diet and exercise, then by all means join up with our big bunch of "losers" and do it with surgery, diet, and exercise - no shame, no shade. Otherwise, you are looking at a lifetime of joint pain and replacement (I'm telling you now, that the pain from a knee replacement is 10,000 times worse than bariatric surgery. Uncomplicated bariatric surgery is a hangnail compaired to a joint replacement)

Here is a link to a Sparkpeople article about what things weigh. My total from pre-op to when I finish up plastics is 100 pounds - that's a two month old colt. That's like wearing a pony for a belt! So far, I have lost an adult Irish Setter, with a mid-size microwave oven to go! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3421351

If this is what you feel you need, and your doctors are supporting you, don't wait until you are in your 60's and life has passed you by. I agree that if your parents can agree to be open-minded enough to go with you to a few appointments, that may help. You may just have to agree to disagree on the subject.

Are you still on your parents insurance, or do you carry your own? If you do not live with your parents or depend on their insurance, then just never mention it again and go do it. They can't undo your surgery once you have it done. You will be your own best advocate.

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Since you are the one who will suffer the consequences of morbid obesity, this should 100% be your decision - not your parents.

100% agree with this!!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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