Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I Have No Motivation That Pushes Me



Recommended Posts

I want to do some working out everyday but always decide to stay in my bed. I know it is bad for me to be sedentary and inactive but yet everyday I decided to stay in bed. Becoming immobile, picturing my family blaming themselves for my death by obesity, developing a stroke or heart disease, or even ending up in a hospital bed does not motivate me. I have dreams, goals and even reasons for why I want lose weight but they are not strong enough to reach me and get me self motivated to get out of bed everyday and workout at least 30 minutes a day. I can't even motivate myself to do at least 5 minutes of exercise everyday. Not even rewarding myself motivates me. Nothing motivates me. How am I suppose to exercise when the drive to just lay in bed and watch tv is more overwhelming that I succumb to it every time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello, so don't think of it like working out. That just sound daunting and you mentally don't want to do it. Just get up and walk. Just get out of bed and take a slow stroll. Just take a slow stroll a couple times a day. Then gradually go a little further. Not work out. Just walk. Walk first inside your house then try outside. Little distances. Just start. On another note,you maybe suffering from some depression. It happens to alot of us. If possible, talk to your PCP and get a rederral to talk with someone. Again, just walk. Not work out. Just walk. Start today. Best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to do some working out everyday but always decide to stay in my bed. I know it is bad for me to be sedentary and inactive but yet everyday I decided to stay in bed. Becoming immobile, picturing my family blaming themselves for my death by obesity, developing a stroke or heart disease, or even ending up in a hospital bed does not motivate me. I have dreams, goals and even reasons for why I want lose weight but they are not strong enough to reach me and get me self motivated to get out of bed everyday and workout at least 30 minutes a day. I can't even motivate myself to do at least 5 minutes of exercise everyday. Not even rewarding myself motivates me. Nothing motivates me. How am I suppose to exercise when the drive to just lay in bed and watch tv is more overwhelming that I succumb to it every time.

when i had my surgery, i was so large i could hardly walk...walking to the bathroom was nearly impossible.

i could not do anything.when i was at home, i marched in placed..2 minutes and i thought i was having a heart attack....at work, when i went to the bathroom, it was 84 steps one way. that was my exercise for about 6 months..i was so heavy, i could not do anything...the more i lost (due to me not being able to eat much) helped build my confidence..i started walking to the end of my driveway and back. thats it..and then i walked to the corner of the street...you dont have to run a marathon to lose weight..you just need to get your mind straight..so we have a weight problem..OK, we had WLS to help us..now we just have to help ourselves..somedays i dont wanna do anything but eat potato chips...my motivation is looking at my highest weight ever picture..and it was a 5x stretch skirt...i do not want to be that ever again..its either do or not...so you dont want to work out today....dont....just be careful with your calorie intake then...if you eat more calories than you burn off, you wont lose and may gain....so its vice versa....like @@finediva said...take a walk...walk down the hall and back........GREAT JOB if you do that...you can..yes you can....if you wanted to

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here's a little secret: it's not motivation that makes us take action, it's actually the reverse.

If you act--in this case, do some movement, even 30 seconds--the motivation will kick in.

For years I thought that I had to find my motivation in order to start in on movement or diet. I had to "gear up" to my next weight loss program...get in the mood, wait for that "click" in my brain, before I embarked on that diet.

After my band, I realized that the motivation happens AFTER I just start moving around.

So don't wait until you hear motivation knocking. It doesn't work that way for most of us. Just act, do, move. Force yourself to get out and walk, even if it just one block. You'll see...that will kickstart your motivation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good morning. I have been there before and it's a terrible feeling. Sadly while you are in that frame of mind not one person around you really gets it either. The only one who can help you is you. You should put in bold big writing some positive affirmations on paper and tape to the wall directly where you would look while laying in bed as well as other places. Such as; YOU CAN DO THIS, GET MOVING, YOU NEED THIS, I WANT TO LIVE, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, I LOVE MYSELF, YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL etc. These are just some examples. Just make sure there all around you where ever you go in your house and say them outloud as you read them everytime you look at one. The idea is to eventually believe it so you can put it into your actions. Even if right now you don't feel that way but its all about changing your perception of yourself and your situation. Also it's all about baby steps to start. When you think that way at least sit up or stand up and walk to another part of house. You dont have to start with 30 minutes. Start with one or three minutes and just increase by minutes every other day and before you know it you WILL be doing 30 or more minutes eventually. It all starts in your mind. Also try watching motivational things on tv while laying down. Shows of a positive nature. I hope this helps you and I pray you find the strength to dig deep inside and change you into who you want to be. YOUR WORTH IT AND DESERVE TO FEEL HAPPY. God bless you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm where you are now.

No motivation after a really harsh set-back.

Weak & tired, can't get off the couch.

Thank you for this post!

Lets me know I'm not alone & is helping me find ways to get myself back on track.

Thanks you posters!!!!

<3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Motivation doesn't come for many of us until we start seeing some reward for our actions. Our actions don't come until we see that motivation. It's a vicious cycle that only YOU can break.

Give yourself permission to lay in bed. Give yourself permission to watch TV. Give yourself permission to do the things you think you want to do instead of moving your body. Make those your rewards, though, instead of your alternatives.

There is nothing I enjoy more than settling into the corner of my couch with the fireplace on reading a trashy novel. I could and would do it all day easily. I have a business to run, kids to feed, a house to clean, a husband to nag, too, though. When I am feeling really overwhelmed and low (which I am quite sure you are feeling right now), it's almost impossible to do anything but lay in that comfy corner.

My solution? The timer on my phone. I set it for 15 minutes and in that time, I have to mark at least one thing off my to-do list. It might be cleaning, it might be a power walk around the block with the dog, or it might be prepping dinner. When the timer on my phone sounds, I give myself 15 minutes or so back on the couch, and repeat. Most of the time I am able to push myself to get more than one thing done and work a little longer than the 15. If I can't, I can't and I give myself permission to "reward" myself as long as I get up again when the buzzer goes off. It sounds simplistic, but it's a very easy system that I have trained myself to go by when I need to.

One hundred plus pounds less of me, I find that I rarely need to use this system any more.

I won't say it's easy, but I will say it's worth it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have that arguement with myself many mornings... I need to get up and workout, I don't want to get up, Get up NOW!, It's cold...

You have to just keep doing it until you make it happen. It's not motivation -- it's just doing it. My doctor gave me a good idea... he said to just agree with yourself that you will walk or move or whatever for 5 minutes. If you get up and do that, you'll probably find after 5 minutes that you are ok to keep going. It's the getting moving part that's hard.

You just have to make up your mind and do it. Don't wait for some magic... get up and do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW! RiskyGirl21 and NewLife'sGr8; Ya'll could not have possibly gotten any better advice as you have from these vets...and even a special way-in from the ever wise, LipstickLady herself! These people ( including all that post after them) KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! Please, please listen to them. They truly want you to have success like they have...so they are passing on the hard-learned tried and true lessons they have learned. They want to help you save your own life! I don't want to scare you, but I was watching 'My 600 Pound Life' or something like that, and this beautiful Jamaican woman named Dominique just would not comply even after she waited 2 years for her surgery. When she finally got the surgery, , she STILL did not comply. At the end it showed her 6 children burying her. I was so shocked, I burst into tears...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you been evaluated for depression and/or thyroid issues? When my thyroid levels are off, I struggle with getting out of bed. Depression can also make it really hard to motivate yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you have received great advice.

I equate TV watching with "mind numbing". It is a way to not face the world. For me, obesity and over eating did that too. Somehow, I experienced the world a little more dull, a little less intensely on a full (over full) stomach. one of the huge adjustments for me over the last 3 years has been getting used to "feeling" EVERYTHING. It is calming down a lot now, but i tell you I had no idea how strong the pull of "numbing" things were for me (TV, movies, internet, computer games, reading way too many books etc.)

I theorize you don't lack motivation, but rather your emotional state feels a lot safer in bed hiding behind your TV.

Even after being at goal for a while, living a very active lifestyle, every once in a while i have a day where i crawl in bed after work with my kindle and bury myself in netflix, Facebook and other mindless activities. I feel blessed that is the minority of the time, not the majority.

As a practical matter, have you considered disconnecting cable? Or at least moving the TV out of the bedroom. That might encourage behavior change.

Good luck - I really don't think this is about your "lack of motivation". I suspect there is more going on here. It has been my experience that obese people have LOTS of motivation and willpower, they just aren't always successful at how they use it/deploy it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that for me, socialization is a big part of working out. I joined the Y and take Water exercise classes. When I am feeling like I don't want to change into my suit and get wet, I think about how nice it is to sit and chat with the ladies in the sauna after our class is over. That's my 'treat' for doing the hour of exercises first.

Find what works for you to help you to motivate. It's not easy but we are here to help you and I am glad you reached out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Greetings! Don't worry about "working out" right now. Just think about adding some movement. Baby steps if you will. It will all help. Sit up in bed, and do arm raises over your head, arm circles out to the side. add a little weight when you can to make it a little harder. Sit on the side of your bed and go from sitting to standing as many times as you can during commercial breaks. It all counts. Every little bit counts. As the weight comes off you will be able to do more and more. You can do this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love the advice given on this thread! My first thought was depression and sometimes it is not a "snap out of it" type of situation. It can require medication and some good old CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Also, not to make this a class war or anything but I would also find a vet closer to your start weight to get some realistic expectations for what your journey will look like. I always say you cannot put a weight limit on misery. A person with 80 to loose can be as miserable as someone with 200 pounds. Your journey might require more professional help. No shame. No judgement. Do what you gotta to make this work for you! You are already heading in the right direction by asking for help! Keep us posted on your progress.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No motivation? Then make a deal with yourself. Promise yourself that you will not be that person you see on the news. The obese person who suddenly gets sick and they have to cut them out the house.

OR

Find that fun activity that makes you not mind working out. For me it was Water aerobics. There was something freeing about the way my body feels in the Water. The payoff was my knees stopped hurting and as my knees stopped aching, I wanted to attend more classes. Suddenly I found out I enjoyed working out.

OR

Pay yourself. Create a bank account and for every 10 minutes of activity you pay the account a dollar. Maybe your goal is a new wide screen tv with all the bells and whistles.

The key is you have to dig deep and find some sort of motivation or bargain you can make with yourself. We can offer suggestions, but ultimately it's on you.

Edited by Blerdgirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×