Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I feel like a failure



Recommended Posts

Hi all. I haven't posted here in a while. I'm sure 17 months out and 120lbs down. I was about 28lbs from goal and then I'm not sure what happened. I feel like I've just stopped caring. I've actually GAINED almost 20lbs. I hate myself and I feel like I've failed. I know I've come actually long way, but I can't help but feel like actually complete failure. How can I kick these carb cravings?

post-170790-14146248890385_thumb.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you have your doctors schedule for how to eat? What to eat first? Do you exercise? I would start there. There is also a 5:2 pouch test that you can try online. Some have gotten good out of that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes I have all of that. I mentally know what I'm supposed to do, I just dont. I always start the day well, then it goes to crap.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok well you have the first hurdle down and that is information. Since no one can ever tell what doctors leave with their patients, I always find it good to ask.

What do you feel is stopping you? Is it the honeymoon is gone? Life is busy? Do you feel that you are tired of being restricted in terms of diet? Do you need a change in exercise? In the doldrums?

I ask a lot of questions because I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help explore what possibilities the issue might be and to encourage you from there. I got enough bad vibes from my surgeon. I won't do that to another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can you reframe eating better ad a present to yourself? For Christmas, I am giving myself the gift of losing x.

Get the crap out of the house. Stock up on healthy treats. Write a plan of what to eat the following day before you go to sleep. When you lay down to go to sleep, think over that plan and tell yourself you will choose to be healthy by eating on plan tomorrow.

You can't hate yourself thin. Listen to your self talk and tell yourself what you would tell your dearest friend if they were in the same boat.

Lynda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only way you will stop craving carbs is to stop eating carbs.

That's not circular ... it's cause/effect. Eating carbs makes you crave carbs.

You've got to go cold turkey. Detox yourself of sugar.

Do that, and you'll likely lose 10 pounds pretty quick.

And while doing that, also go back to the basic behaviors that helped you lose 120 pounds.

You can fix this. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My opinion the self loathing feeling needs to be addressed. I also agree about the carb craving Cycle. ..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with self talk. It was the first thing I noticed about your post. I know you posted looking for support to get back on track, and talking about mental health isn't exactly what you wanted. You don't eat right if your head isn't right.

Failure at all kinds of things is very normal. Falling back on bad habits happens to most everyone. I've had my period of eating poorly about 2.5yrs after surgery. I had to go cold turkey on the carbs and leave them behind. It worked well enough to help push me towards losing some additional weight. It helps me to eat better if I am adventurous with my food and try new ways to cook and spice my Protein and veggies. I tend to eat better on days that I exercise. Since you start strong and falter as the day goes by, consider adding a brief walk when you start having cravings. Drink a big glass of sugar free beverage prior to the walk. Being out of reach of good and satisfying any dehydration could help you be more successful when you feel tempted.

Please excuse any typos. I'm on my phone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone. I wanted to seek therapy but no longer have insurance, that's why I reached out here. I've got to figure something out. It's out of control

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand that. Been there. Do you think you might want specific help? Like should we look for things on the internet for you in specific areas?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a stay at home mom so I'm always home. I'm in and out of the fridge all day. Sad part is, I'm not even hungry! And I still have my restriction, but I often push past full. I feel the need go fad diet. I even bought pills! I don't want to do that again. I was down into a size 10. Now, they're tight. I'm so mad. Mentally, I know what to do. I just can't do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can you get out of the house?

Do you HAVE to be a stay-at-home mom?

Can you get a full-time job?

Can you volunteer?

Can you get into therapy?

Can you lock the refrigerator?

Can you stop buying food that tempts you?

...................

What's stopping you from doing what you know you need to do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No I can't work full time. I have a son in kindergarten and a 2.5 year old. I have to be home for the baby, and be home to put my son on/off the bus. I try to get out during the day, but I'm also in college full time online so I try and squeeze that in during the day between housework and kids. I'd love to do therapy but we don't have insurance, and we can't afford it until after the holidays. The food that tempts me is food for my husband/kids. I'm not sure What's stopping me. Trying to figure it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What are you putting in the fridge? Subbing Water or the like for Snacks is a good thing. What about playing a game or doing homework?

I buy stuff for the church breaks but otherwise my stuff is lean protein/meats, veggies. I try to keep all the other stuff out of the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Overeaters anonymous has free support group meetings and so do some hospitals / bariatric surgeons. A group of ladies in my town get together one Sat each month (kids are welcome). Maybe if there isn't something in your area, you could start something to have support of like minded people. Call your aurgeon's office and offer to mentor someone. Helping others will help yourself by being a good example.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×