Goal weight and family negative family members

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Great! She was calling me a fat ass b***h again today!

I love her, but I just can't take the negativity and mean nature anymore!

Ummm.....that's just not normal. Sorry your sister is that way. If someone EVER called me that, it would be the last time. You deserve better.

[auntiemel 275]

She knows where to stick the knife and stab it!

We grew up with a psycho dad who was abusive, I'm sure she learned this from him.

It just makes me sad that that is the only thing she focuses on when she is mad at me.

I know she doesn't want me to succeed as that would make her the "heavy" sister and I've been the "heavy" sister for 15 years or so.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

She knows where to stick the knife and stab it!

We grew up with a psycho dad who was abusive, I'm sure she learned this from him.

It just makes me sad that that is the only thing she focuses on when she is mad at me.

I know she doesn't want me to succeed as that would make her the "heavy" sister and I've been the "heavy" sister for 15 years or so.

The good news for you is that you have the power to stop it, TODAY, with or without weight loss, surgery or not. You don't have to engage in this crazy dialogue. Once YOU change the rules, she's going to be on her own with this sickness. I imagine things may get worse before they get better. You both seem to have this dynamic that puts you a peg below her based on weight, as if somehow that's justified. She might try to find some other way to keep you "in your place", but don't let her. Just move on, and focus on how great you are going to feel, and how much improved your life will be. And trust me, it's gong to be better in ways you don't even know about!

[auntiemel 275]

The good news for you is that you have the power to stop it, TODAY, with or without weight loss, surgery or not. You don't have to engage in this crazy dialogue. Once YOU change the rules, she's going to be on her own with this sickness. I imagine things may get worse before they get better. You both seem to have this dynamic that puts you a peg below her based on weight, as if somehow that's justified. She might try to find some other way to keep you "in your place", but don't let her. Just move on, and focus on how great you are going to feel, and how much improved your life will be. And trust me, it's gong to be better in ways you don't even know about!

I am! She makes awful food choices and I have tried to help her before she gets to be as heavy as I am. She drinks Lipton Sweet tea and eats candy and carbs all day. She drinks at least 1000 calories in tea a day!!! I hope that she learns from my surgery as it's not the easy way out and starts making healthier choices.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I am! She makes awful food choices and I have tried to help her before she gets to be as heavy as I am. She drinks Lipton Sweet tea and eats candy and carbs all day. She drinks at least 1000 calories in tea a day!!! I hope that she learns from my surgery as it's not the easy way out and starts making healthier choices.

If I were you I would limit my time with her for now. I would also not give her dietary advice as she is angry and this will only make her retaliate. You do what is right for you and leave her be. She has to come to grips with her own issues. You yours! For now you have to concentrate on what made you tick. What drew you to food as a comfort and work to change your thinking. This is a time for you to think of you and only you. It sounds selfish but so what.It is your time okay.

Also we allow others to treat us the way WE think we should be treated. It is time to stop the abuse and let it be one of the issues you will work on to make you feel better about yourself.

Enough is enough! It is never to late to change things up.

[Forsythia 882]

In the words of Taylor Swift: Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate . I'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake, shake it off, shake it off.

The fact is, that if everyone in your family is overweight, your sister has no idea.. none.. what 150 lbs actually looks like on your body or her body. The fact is that 150 lbs is right on the cusp of healthy/overweight for a woman who is 5'5" (like myself). That is my goal. If I could get down to 135, that would be even better for my frame. You can take what she says into consideration, but you know your body and what will work for it.

[Chrystee 838]

People hate when other people have success at something that they know they have issues with as well. My sister and I got into a fight when I made my decision, and I think that she really was worried I would be the smaller sister and she'd be left alone fat.. and it forces her to think about her choices and it kind of smacks her in the face, you know?

[nesa83 89]

I totally understand what you are saying!! I have 3 sisters we are 4 girls in total with me. And they are always telling me I look too thin that I look sick they even started to call me bones lol. I just laugh it off, but it's got the point where they are getting on my nerves. I tell them it's because they are not used to seeing me like this. I weigh 150 at the moment when I had surgery 10 months ago I was 278. I've always been big I weight 11lbs when I was born on thanksgiving day at that lol. I say go for it lose up into you are comfortable. I'm aiming for 130 all I want is a good BMI I'm 5'2.

[Shaelya 10]

I was that envious sister once Out of my mom, my sister, and I, I was always the smallest (always between a size 12-16), but we were all overweight. My sister though was the heaviest, at 300. She decided to have RNY 3 years ago and my mom freaked out (worried about the risks, etc) and tried to show my sister that she could lose weight on her own without WLS, so she went on a major diet and started losing weight. My sister went ahead and had her surgery anyway. Before I knew it, both of them were wearing a size 6, and all of a sudden for the first time in my life, I was the fattest one I was envious but not mean to either of them, I love them both and we all have a really good relationship. But I secretly thought my sister took the easy way out. I rededicated myself to trying to lose weight again on my own, and eating healthy. 2 years later though and I still haven't made any progress (actually gained). We both have PCOS and managing our weight is near impossible.

Long story short, I see how fantastic my sister looks now and how she is handling it 3 yrs post-op, and finally decided to have surgery myself!

I definitely know that when people around you change for the better, emotions emerge that you never even realized you had... it's definitely interesting how we humans behave and react to one another. You learn a lot about yourself when faced with those situations. Not everyone is good and dealing with those feelings.

[Kindle 8,667]

Apparently my family are "freaks".....My sister was thrilled I lost weight and am finally the same size as she's always been. She said "it's like hugging myself". Now she and I and even my brother's wife all wear the same size. When my "fat friend" got The lap band and lost a lot of weight, I was thrilled for her and turned to her for advice when I decided to have WLS. I have cousins and friends that are now bigger than me and they never have a bad word to say. No jealousy, no rivalry. Everyone is just thrilled that I am happy and healthy. I truly wish there were more freaks like us in this world!

Edited November 5, 2014 by Kindle

[S(he) be(lie)ve(d) 151]

So far, I haven't faced this yet. But, I'm sure my sister-in-law will be right there with your sister in the jealousy department. I am also 5ft 4in. My highest was 223 lbs. My goal weight is 125 lbs. As of today, I am at 178. It is amazing how great you feel as you become more healthy! My SIL doesn't know that I had the sleeve done. We've kept it private for specific reasons. Only 4 people know. Whenever she acknowledges that I have lost weight, I'm sure the jealousy will fly. At this point, she hasn't even noticed. She is very opinionated and negative. Her way or the highway pretty much. It's how the whole fandamily is. It will be interesting when something is mentioned.