F*** Yes or No! Great article for single members

[Alex Brecher 10,484]

My good friend Cassie from WLSDailyPlate suggested I read a great article called F*** Yes or No! It's a great read for our single members.

[Kindle 8,667]

The article started out quite interesting. Nailed it on the head why I don't bother dating anymore...too many games. But then the article turned down right insulting......"The first problem is people who never feel a “Fuck Yes” for anybody they meet. If you are lukewarm on absolutely everyone you meet, then either your demographics are way off, or you suffer from a lack of vulnerability and are protecting yourself by remaining indifferent and unenthused by all of those around you."

The author basically says there's something wrong with those of us who are either not in a relationship or are not looking to be in a relationship. Sorry, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be single. It is the lifestyle I choose and I am very happy with my choice. I am confident and self -reliant. I do what I want when I want and don't have to worry about someone else's wants and needs that may not particularly correspond with my own. I'm happy more than I'm not happy. I can't say that about the periods I have been in relationships. And it sure isn't true about a lot of married couples I know.

So all you singles out there.....fuck trying to find someone. You don't "need" to be in a relationship to be happy. But if you do choose to find a mate, make sure that he/she makes YOU happy and compliments your strengths. don't settle for someone that makes you less of your potential.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I'm not single but my curiosity got the better of me. It's funny how we can so clearly believe this message when it pertains to other people, but so hard to apply it to ourselves. Thanks for posting this. It does make some good points. And I also second what Kindle said. There's nothing second best about being single and happy. Too many of us have clung to relationships beyond the time they should have ended. We are enough. I liked the message from the article that unless both parties are excited to be with the other then the match is not going to succeed. That to me flows directly into the idea of, if you're not excited about being with the other person, ok then. And so what? Don't be with them. We don't always need to be searching for a mate to be happy.

[Jack 855]

hey, my family heritage is Viking raiders/Russian steppes...... My people don't do 'excited'.

[labwalker 1,177]

Ouch... sounds like she just got of a bad relationship and is venting.

[gowalking 10,790]

Good article. I'm learning to move on when something about the relationship isn't quite clicking instead of trying to figure out what happened. I always make sure to give them a chance to respond in case of a technical glitch (such as a missed phone call or text or even a misunderstanding) but then it's bye bye my friend. It's a good lesson to learn. That, and being happy with yourself and not relying on someone else to make you happy. That never works. I'm very happy with my life especially as I am in a much better place physically with my much improved mobility. If I meet someone, great. If not, I'm quite content to be on my own. Being alone is very different than being lonely.

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

I've lived many years happily independent; alone but not lonely. I agree, we don't need someone to make us whole nor 'complete'. Rather, it's someone who compliments me, and I, him who I want to be with. Never was I ever with a man just to break my loneliness. IMHO, Not fair to him, breaking boredom/loneliness &I dump him because someone better came along.

Now, I'm open to a relationship though not desperate.

I've dated on & off and haven't yet felt that tingling you get; the knowing that it's the right guy. Heck, even with tingles, sometimes it's still not a good match after you really get to know each other. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me- or him-at all. Just means we're not good together.

I know the kind of guy I'm looking for and there are some deal-breakers for me that I wouldn't even consider a first date.

At midlife, it's a lot more challenging for both men and women. Let's face it, the really good ones are mostly taken. Electronic dating has over-run traditional, organic, just see someone out and about, feel an attraction, and ask for a date.

I'd much rather be alone than be with the wrong man. Like @@gowalking, I listen to my gut now. My gut never fails me. If something's off, it's good-bye! Gave up questioning what went wrong long ago.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I liked it. I didn't see the article as insisting that hooking up or being in a romantic relationship or getting married is better than not being in those states. I just didn't read that into it.

Attraction (of all kinds) really is rather immediate. It's either there or it's not. This article merely encourages us to become more aware of our and others' initial responses and to trust them.

BTW, our null responses may change into positive ones. Of course, we're empowered to notice those changes and act accordingly.

[Bluesea71 698]

Interesting article. The concept that comes to mind I feel the author is trying to get across with his interesting choice of f*** yes or no concept is - We take the the time for the people, places and things that are important to us. The message I heard loud and clear in the article is stop wasting your breathe pursuing relationships (both platonic and romantic) if that person is not equally pursuing you with as much energy and effort. Move on. We deserve better. There is someone out there in the world who thinks you are the bees knees. Stop wasting your time making excuses why so and so didn't call. I make time for the people, places and things that are important to me. Don't you?

Edited March 31, 2015 by Bluesea71