Regrets?

[GentryGirl 1]

Hi! I'm new here. Had surgery on 7/8/14. I will be a month post-op this coming Tuesday. I get to resume a "regular" diet then. LOL! I'm currently eating soft foods for the 2nd week. I'm actually doing pretty good in the grand scheme of things I guess. I'm able to tolerate lots of foods, I'm able to move around physically, I've been able to avoid any unhealthy cravings. I'm experiencing the same mental/emotional stress, questions, and doubts as others on here, "Am I eating too much (1000 cal/day)? Am I really hungry? Am I full? Will I be able to keep this off long term?" I have found that quite often the answers to these questions are wrapped in assurances and encouragement, which is nice, but there are no real or specific answers. I lost 20 lbs before surgery, but have only lost 1.5 lbs in the past 24 days. I emailed the dietician; she didn't seem nearly as concerned with the lack of weight loss as I am! Anyway, all those stats are just a way of introducing myself a little. What I was really wondering is if anyone regrets having surgery? So far I'm not sure I regret it, but, to be honest, I'm not sure I would recommend it either. It just hasn't been what I thought it would be. I didn't think I would stall this soon. I didn't realize my stomach would be so swollen that I looked like I swallowed a watermelon. I didn't think losing weight would be this hard this soon. I didn't know that the wrinkles from the excess skin & the Hair loss would start immediately. I don't mean to be negative; that's totally not the type of person I am. I just feel kind of disappointed in the results, and, while I'm not ready to give up on the whole thing yet, I also can't say that it's the best thing I've ever done, either. I was just wondering if anyone else ever second guessed their decision to have WLS?

[InfiniteButterfly 438]

Not even once.

Yes, stalls are frustrating, and the wrinkling skin isn't the greatest to look at...but my general health and overall well-being are so much improved that I never second-guessed my decision. I wanted this for a long time before we had the means to get it for me, and I was ready. More than ready.

Your dietitian's probably not concerned because everyone loses at their own pace. You're still trending downward. Are you exercising? You didn't mention. I couldn't eat 1000 calories a day until I was exercising regularly and burning off what I ate (like I said, everyone's different, so this is just my experience). Good luck.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I know what you mean..I mean after I woke up from the nineteen day coma. I had some serious regrets. For five and a half months I didn't even get to eat.....lol

hun..Everyone has buyers remorse. Seems to me that you are no different then anyone else who has had weight loss surgery. Even if you were to lose the weight the traditional way you would get sagging skin and all the rest eventually...

Do me a favor and just take it one day at a time and as you change your thinking and the lbs. start to really come off and you start to see the results of who you are becoming..The NSV's and all the health improvements. You may still regret it at times but you will be healthier and have a sense of living life....

Hang in there....It will get better. The stall ( body at rest ) is there to protect you from harming your body. It will protect itself from the possible danger of starvation....It is an amazing machine.........Once it feels safe it will start to let go of the lbs once more..okay!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

The reason you get reassurances in kind words is because there is no one right answer to your questions. We are not machines and our bodies do not respond the same to any given scenario. One thing is almost universally certain, though: if you continue to eat less than your body uses, you will lose weight. Only you will know the answer to questions like calorie and volume intake. The "rules" are there as guidelines, some more important than others.

I learned a few things along the way, which sort of surprised me, because I thought I knew a lot about dieting and weight loss.

• I need to eat 900 calories or less to lose
• Carbs really do make me retain Water, and want to eat junk
• I am in control of my success, and the sleeve gave me a leg up in doing so that I never had before
• Sometimes our bodies do not cooperate, and we don't lose weight at a rate of 3500 calories = 1 pound
• I can gain WAY faster than I can lose
• I really don't need as much food as I used to think
• It's what we do for the long haul that really makes a difference. It's hard not to focus on the day to day, but it's more realistic to look at trends week to week, month to month over time and correlate outcomes to actions
• There are very few people who don't lose some hair. It grows back for most, not all
• Even the most stretched skin will have some improvement over time. The wrinkles are worse in the beginning.
• Every change I've had to make has been well worth it to me. I struggled and lost the battle every day before surgery, and my life was so much more difficult in ways I didn't even recognize. Now I feel free, and I don't have the misery of morbid obesity complicating my life, so it's well worth the effort. I remember that when I get tired of following the rules, watching what I eat, etc. I do not have one single regret, and I'd do it again.

As a word of encouragement, I say try to Celebrate the successes along the way. Try to remember that the short term difficulty we go through to get to the end result is worth it! And, while we are getting there, the small changes do add up, and it's a wonder to transform yourself. I've never heard one person say they hated being thin after having WLS.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Actually in a sense we are machines. Well oiled machines @@MichiganChic We are a city unto ourselves in the sense that we are one unit that each part works together to make it work. Even though we can live without one part or another it was there for a reason and without it something is strained to make up the difference.

We are building blocks one upon another and we compensate for the abuses we do to our bodies until we can not do it anymore. That is when the city or machine starts to break down. I am not referring to emotions although they do play a part. But the organs, nerves, fluids, spine etc. all work together to keep us always looking at the horizon no matter what happens to us...

How we treat our bodies is how we will respond. The body will make as many adjustments as possible to keep us going. But just like any machine if something starts to break down and it is not repairable we suffer.. Osteopathy has taught me this....I love the idea that we are a city individual cities....awesome I think!

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Sometimes I still am sad that I couldn't "do it on my own" but most things are not 100% solo effort. If I had lost weight through Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, MediFast, etc, I wouldn't have been upset that I "didn't do it on my own". So I try to remind myself this isn't much different.

The stretch marks don't bother me, so I hate that my arms are still pretty big even though the rest of me has gotten much smaller. I can deal with the bat wings, but when I hold up my arm, you can totally see where the "skinny" arm should be, versus the fat hanging from it if that makes sense.

After I have children, I really want to have plastic surgery on my arms.

But the advantages far outweight those things. I don't ever want those 100 lbs back

[GentryGirl 1]

Thank you SOOOO much everyone! These replies have been so helpful! You're encouraging words were the perfect thing to wake up to this AM! I hope you have a fantastic Friday!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@RJ'S/beginning I think we were responding at the same time about machines. As soon as mine posted, I could see what you said and chuckled to myself because it looked like I was disagreeing with your statement, but I typed that without having seen your post. I was looking at it from a different perspective.

In the sense of the way our bodies work in relationship to the different systems within one person, I agree, we are like well oiled, amazing machines. My point was that we are unique from each other, and not created in a lab or factory with quality controls so the output is the same in each of us. A machine that is well manufactured will produce the same outcome time after time regardless of the user. For instance, if you apply the brakes in your car, and as long as the brakes function, they will stop the car. In a human being, if you provide a deficit of 3500 calories per week, you will not likely produce a one pound weight loss consistently from one person to the next, or even in a repeatable way in the same person week to week. If it were that simple, there would be a lot less obesity, because I'm sure lots of us could manage that. It's just another way to say to people that you can't compare your weight loss to someone else's.

Edited August 3, 2014 by MichiganChic

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Your absolutely right @@MichiganChic it is like comparing a Ford to a Chrysler. No comparison if you like Fords...We are all different and that is so true. Environments and the like. Genes what we eat. Stress!...bla, bla, bla....

And if you don't keep up the maintenance then you rust or fall apart.......I love your analogy.... True that girl!

I just find the city analogy so amazing. I love using it......LOL

[xring3 39]

If I had it to do again, I would not have the surgery. I would have been more focused on watching what I eat and the amounts taken in. I did lose weight and have kept it off but, the aftermath is worse than anticipated. I have responded to questions on this topic in the past and generally get pummeled for my thoughts. Perhaps the supporters would rather I keep to myself.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

If I had it to do again, I would not have the surgery. I would have been more focused on watching what I eat and the amounts taken in. I did lose weight and have kept it off but, the aftermath is worse than anticipated. I have responded to questions on this topic in the past and generally get pummeled for my thoughts. Perhaps the supporters would rather I keep to myself.

I can't see why for any reason you can't feel what you really feel. It is your life your body...you call the shots. There are lots of things I regret in my life that others would poo poo on..But who cares.....Your reasons are yours and probably good ones..Never mind being picked on.......okay!

[lizv123 389]

I regret this surgery. And I regret that my mom is in the hospital at this very moment fighting for her life because of WLS.

It almost killed me, has made my fibromyalgia 10x worse, given me digestive issues, mental abuse by those in the medical field, take 40-47 pills a day (not counting Vitamin supplements), looking at more possible surgeries from side effects of the sleeve and now it's killing my mother? I researched for a FULL year, every day, all day before surgery.

Yes. I have LOADS of regrets.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

lizv, i am sorry you have such regrets.

6-7 years ago my mom ( who was almost 80 at the time) was ill advised to have a complete hysterectomy when she only needed one ovary removed for a cyst. she had tickets to go to europe with good friends and wanted to resolve the problems caused by the cyst and go on her trip. i suggested she rethink the surgery. i knew the recovery from the surgery was longer than her surgeon was telling her. she went ahead with it and seriously regretted it. she trusted the docs and they let her down. and really, she's never recovered 100% from the experience. she now has a fistula that can not be repaired, and is having other internal issues. it is scary and overwhelming to have doctors say one thing and have something else entirely happen. its hard to cope with knowing you made the wrong decision for your body. i know my mom kicks herself about it all the time. i try to tell her there was no way for her to know what might have happened.

i hope things will get better for you! be gentle with yourself.

[GODSON 20]

With me I think about it alla the time. Once getting used to the Protein diet I thought I shouldve just kept this goin myself. I will admit the changes with surgery are completely different. More consistent than doing the diet alone. Still till this day I outweigh the pros n con. Some days I wish I didnt some days im glad I did. But I have notticed that the days I wish I didnt, it always because I dont finish a meal I have been craving. I love sushi, and the other day I bought 1 roll. Had to break it up into 3 meals. Upset I couldnt enjoy it completely. Also extremely happy 1 roll was enough. When before surgery it wouldve been 7 rolls to even make a dent. Its certainly bittersweet. I got lab results in today. Im happy I did the surgery, because for me it was more a medical necessity. Sever sleep apnea, high blood pressure, diabetic, high cholesterol, fatty liver, back pains, swollen feet. At 28years old 370. Now im 5 weeks and 295lbs and only health issue left is sleep apnea. So my regrets have gone to a 5%. I love food, I still enjoy it... just in smaller portions with im saving tons on money (didnt realize how much I been spending) which is great.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I regret this surgery. And I regret that my mom is in the hospital at this very moment fighting for her life because of WLS.

It almost killed me, has made my fibromyalgia 10x worse, given me digestive issues, mental abuse by those in the medical field, take 40-47 pills a day (not counting Vitamin supplements), looking at more possible surgeries from side effects of the sleeve and now it's killing my mother? I researched for a FULL year, every day, all day before surgery.

Yes. I have LOADS of regrets.

I too almost died and 22 months later still have complications due to my surgery. I made a choice and for that I cannot go back.... Hind sight is 20/20. Why did your mom do it when you had so many issues?

My sister who considered it has taken a step back because of me and i think she will not do it herself.....I also think that if I was better educated at the time I might not have done it myself...Like you I am on a lot more drugs then before and the new and different complications keep coming up. As soon as I think I am out of the woods bang...another one!

I do not regret my choice however because I can't go back and I am stronger and I am living a better life then I did before...But what bugs me sometimes is that I hated so much all the abuse I took that at the time I would have rather died then stay the way I was....I could not stand the entire thing.....

I do however warn those who come after me when I get the chance. It is a hard and dangerous road for some...Others fly through......It is worth the time to really get all the information and jump through all the hoops to make sure you know what your getting into before doing this..And even at that I was hit with other things I had no knowledge that would or could happen to me.

No one has the right to criticize your feelings unless they have been there!

I hope things get much better for your mom!