Are your family & friends telling you to stop losing weight?

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,280]

It's time for one of my crazy questions again! Yes I like stirring the pot, I like to know what people think or how they approach any situation that most of us will come to someday.

For those who are experiencing this situation, are your family and friends telling you not to lose anymore weight? Do you still have some weight to lose according to the BMI? Are you taking their advice under consideration, or are you going to make your healthy weight goal? What does your surgeon think?

Sometimes our visions of ourselves can be greatly skewed by being super obese for so long, so it's possibly difficult to realize when we should stop losing weight or if we really should lose more. Of course the only person you should really listen to is your surgeon or weight loss staff in that respect. No matter what, always remain healthy mentally and physically.

[pjpanda 129]

Mine aren't but then again, I'm only 3 1/2 weeks post op so I've barely started to lose weight (about 10% weight loss).

[Butterflyhigh 504]

Yes. And I'm only 7 days post op!!

It's my crazy mother. I should never have said a word about VSG. I wasn't going to....and I don't know what happened! I just totally spilled all the Beans three days before surgery. Stupid me.

Today she called and told me to:

"Be careful not to loose too much, you know how your face get's all wrinkly if you loose too much. You don't want to look sickly. You don't want people to think you're a walking anorexic. My God dear, how will you explain this sudden weight loss to the neighbor's? I don't want to look at you and not recognize you. You're not even as fat as your Aunt Ciss! If you loose more weight than your sister it may make her feel bad. Just don't loose too much."

WHY OH WHY did I ever say anything to her?!?!

Edited June 17, 2014 by Butterflyhigh

[Kindle 8,667]

I have people tell me everyday that I look fabulous and I don't need to lose anymore. My hairdresser calls me skinny bitch every time I walk in her salon. My mom hasn't seen me since last fall, way before surgery. She and my dad are coming for a visit in two weeks but she's already been telling me to stop losing based on the pictures I've sent. It will be an interesting visit. The crazy thing is that I'm not exactly tiny in size 12 jeans, but I guess it's all a perspective thing.

[terry1118 1,274]

Yes. Family, friends, and total strangers who think because I cash their checks for them once a week that they are entitled to voice their opinion on the matter. I have been called 'anorexic', 'sickly', 'gaunt', and 'skinny'. I've had people ask me if I have cancer and they've said they're praying for me. I've been told I'm wasting away and I don't look healthy. :-p

I just had my one year post op appointment. My surgeon says I'm a textbook example of the surgery's success. My labs couldn't be any more perfect. All my health problems have gone away, my joint and back pain is gone, and I feel great! I'm on better health than I have been in over 28 years. I've lost 115 pounds and am holding at a steady 118lbs (I have a small frame and am only barely 5' tall). I wear a size 6 or 8 bottoms and a small top. That being said I still have a little pot belly and some small love handles. Sizes must have changed over the years because before I got pregnant in '86 (with twins) I was wearing a size 9 and I still can't fit into the size 9 leather coat that was the first gift my husband ever gave me. At 118 I am on the high end of the weight range for my height. I'd like to lose maybe 8 more pounds to put me in the middle. It may be that I won't be able to do anything about my belly without more surgery. My insurance will pay if I end up with rashes. But if not, I am more than content with where I am. It's a place I never dared to dream I would ever be! So very happy with my results!

For the record, my stock answer now is 'My doctor is pleased with my results and I'm following his recommendations'. Who can argue with that? If people don't drop it I change the subject or end the conversation. :-)

Edited June 17, 2014 by terry1118

[BeagleLover 1,020]

Yes. And I'm only 7 days post op!!

It's my crazy mother. I should never have said a word about VSG. I wasn't going to....and I don't know what happened! I just totally spilled all the Beans three days before surgery. Stupid me.

Today she called and told me to:

"Be careful not to loose too much, you know how your face get's all wrinkly if you loose too much. You don't want to look sickly. You don't want people to think you're a walking anorexic. My God dear, how will you explain this sudden weight loss to the neighbor's? I don't want to look at you and not recognize you. You're not even as fat as your Aunt Ciss! If you loose more weight than your sister it may make her feel bad. Just don't loose too much."

WHY OH WHY did I ever say anything to her?!?!

And yes...I will have to hear this from her for a long time to come. Wether it is 5 lbs or 500 lbs my family members are not going to be supportive at all. They like me fat.

OMGGGGGG! I would have trouble putting up with that! Glad to hear you are taking the step forward to unburden yourself and get healthy!

[Teachamy 1,042]

My bariatric center dietician ( a new one, as of today) has told me to shoot for 145, rather than 140, and to eat no less than 900 calories a day. She says if I go below that, I won't be able to maintain the loss...I disagree. My diabetic dietician ( love and trusted for 10 + yrs.) has said, "hear me tell you that you can "shoot" for whatever goal you want, but 160-155 is a good weight." I am still overweight on the BMI charts I have seen, so I am going by that. I will not be a "normal" weight until I get to 149. Lots of confusing info. from the folks who are supposed to know about this stuff!

[nerms 237]

I'm just starting the journey, due to undergo surgery next month, and I'm already hearing "please don't get too skinny". And don't get to a certain weight blah blah.. It's my body and I'll stop when I feel comfortable!

[BigGirlPanties 957]

@terry1118 Wow, you really need to update your stats!!! Congrats!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,280]

@@Butterflyhigh - Wow I'm sorry you have to endure that from your Mom!

[lnelson796 117]

Mine has been from my mother in law. Telling me when I'm still at 230 pounds that I've lost enough and should stop. I informed her that I was not going to do something like surgery and stop before even getting out of the twos! I think the biggest issue is that she knew her daughter was jealous of my weight loss and didn't want me to pass her. Her daughter then went on phentermine and went from a 12 to an 8, and made sure I knew she can wear some 6s. I'm in a 12, hoping for a 10. And if I want to continue to an 8, that's my choice, not theirs!

[bikrchk 1,313]

Yes! Even my surgeon, at my 6 month follow up told me if I didn't lose any more I was still considered "a WLS Success", though my BMI was still in the obese range at that time! When I asked him about it, he did tell me that it was okay to lose more as long as I maintained weight withing the healthy BMI range, but STILL! Makes me wonder if he wasn't just checking off a box for his stats, "yep, another success"! I did adjust my initial goal up by 10 pounds from 135 to 145, (I'm 5'6") as I'm already wearing a loose size 6 most days, (I can fit a 4 sometimes) at 150 pounds. I eat about 1200 calories most days and exercise 5 days per week and I'm still losing. So I still have a stretch goal of 135. I may lose that last 10 anyway as I try to figure out what blend of exercise and calories makes me maintain instead of lose. Seems impossible to me right now to eat more than I already do without adding more sugar\junk. I'm trying to have faith that if I continue healthy behaviors my body will level out in a good place, whatever that looks like!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,280]

@@bikrchk yes your body will level out when it's ready. Definitely don't rely on junk/sugar to get you to stop losing You're doing a great job!

[Lady VS 1,147]

I'm three and a half years post op and my family consistently tells me not to lose anymore weight. Everyone loves my new look but at are scared I'm going to get too small. My doc wanted me to get down to 134 my goal was 150 and my current weight fluctuates between 140 and 145 so I believe I am ok.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

I'm three and a half years post op and my family consistently tells me not to lose anymore weight. Everyone loves my new look but at are scared I'm going to get too small. My doc wanted me to get down to 134 my goal was 150 and my current weight fluctuates between 140 and 145 so I believe I am ok.

Forget the numbers. Go with whatever feels natural and comfortable for YOU!