Ex-Friend Keeps Writing Negatively About Me on Different Blogs and Web Sites

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,280]

I can't add anything more than what has already been mentioned, run away and run away fast. Stop reading her blogs, it's only hurting you and right now your main focus is your surgery and healing and weight loss.

She sounds like a psychopath wrapped in a bow. She's a really good writer and tries to sound convincing, but yet she spews venom. Good you blocked her on Facebook! You can make new and better, more supportive friends there now, like me!

[skinnygirlwithin 693]

@Sharon C. the only thing i can say is you need to update your stats... You havent had surgery yet & you have already lost 300lbs. SHE IS NO FRIEND! Say good bye, have a funeral or whatever you need to... but as it was said many times before, Dont walk, RUN as fast as you can away from this nightmare of a friend. she is very unstable & it will continue as long as you keep feeding this fire. No matter what she does, dont allow her name to cross your lips... treat her like she doesnt exist....

She sounds really messed up... just think of it this way, you might have lost one "friend" but have gained all of us as friends!!

[mrsto 2,925]

I'm more than slightly amazed that you haven't disclosed your friends multiple mental illnesses and that you continue to try and make it appear that a perfectly normal person turned ariound and did this without warning. You knew what your friends rigid belief structure and mental state was. She's battling multiple serious mental illnesses and you know darn well this affects her behavior.

Perhaps your "friend" wouldn't still be going on about this if you hadn't directed hundreds of people to her blog weeks ago hoping they would back you up 8th grade style.

Just a thought. Perhaps your "friend" would eventually forget about this and move on if you didn't keep posting every word she says on various web sites.

You keep doing what you want, but poking someone who is mentally ill with a stick so you can get sympathy is pretty low. Shame on you.

When this thread finally runs out of steam and sympathy and another pops up on another board in a few weeks, I won't say anything. I'm done. I wish you the best.

Amen - enough already

[HumanMerelyBeing 287]

^{It's ironic that your ex-friend states, "No friendship is worth your physical and mental health." Well, that's terrific advice for YOU. You cannot accept her friendship on the terms she would like to offer it either. A friend who never wants anyone to change is one that has control issues and frankly does not offer unconditional friendship.}

^{Also, she is equating weight loss with being "fat-phobic" but we all know that's incorrect. I never despised my larger body and it certainly wasn't looks that ultimately motivated my weight loss decision. WLS is very far from a "cosmetic" procedure. What I did despise was not being able to do all the activities that I loved. I despised being mobility limited and not having the strength to walk on vacation or use my kayak or ride my bike comfortably. I despised the idea that my body at my former weight might not live to see my children graduated and married. These are things to despise. But despise my body - no, I didn't do that.}

^{I also despise the addiction to food that I was enslaved in. Addiction is a freedom-stealer. WLS helps with this tremendously at the physical and hormonal level (not cosmetically). If an alcoholic or a drug addict could have a surgery that would dramatically improve their chances of overcoming their life-threatening addiction - everyone would understand it perfectly. Why can't obesity and food addiction be treated without judgment?}

^{As others have said, this person has a lot of issues which she is trying to disguise with put-on righteousness.}

^{You are free to move on and focus on your health, your well-being and your bright future! You have chosen a path towards your freedom and I support you!}

Edited June 12, 2014 by HumanMerelyBeing

[bsellis 105]

This is one of the most insane things I have ever read. Why does she keep saying cosmetic surgery. I didn't have wls with the intention of being thin and pretty. I loved myself even when I was 125 lbs heavier. I had to get this surgery to save my life. sleep apnea, high blood pressure.. just to name a few. Even when I hit my goal weight I feel like I will always be a fat girl at heart and I definitely won't be judging people on how they look.

Don't read that crap.. just hit delete and move on!!!

[roundisashape 712]

I was struck by something your friend said and just have to say - your body is your body, not a social statement. I'm sorry she's being a nutball, as long as you're doing what's right for you and your health then whatever issues she has are her own.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Stop reading the crap that this 'woman' spouts. I don't even know her and she can put me in a coma.

Stop your 'friends' from referring you to her latest diatribes, too. It is doing no one any favours.

Tune it out. Move on.

[Colleen C 169]

Wow, I agree stop reading that BS. You already know what you need, listen to your inner voice. The only thing you get out of reading it is hurt and angry. You don't need that or the guilt. You have every right to do what you want and need. Please, stop reading it and when people point it out to you about her blogs, tell them you have moved on and you don't want to hear it. Block her emails etc.

Still shaking my head,

Move on and good luck, see you on the journey

Colleen

[Colleen C 169]

Wow, I agree stop reading that BS. You already know what you need, listen to your inner voice. The only thing you get out of reading it is hurt and angry. You don't need that or the guilt. You have every right to do what you want and need. Please, stop reading it and when people point it out to you about her blogs, tell them you have moved on and you don't want to hear it. Block her emails etc.

Still shaking my head,

Move on and good luck, see you on the journey

Colleen

[MayDaisy 2]

You have decided to make positive healthy choices for yourself. Your next choice should be to forget she existed.

[beeteroo 166]

It seems like she's just a crazy and self centered as she was the last time you posted her comments. It would be really good for you to stay away from that kind of negativity and take care of yourself. I don't think you should go back to that blog. And the friend that pointed this out to you should know that you don't want to look at her blog anymore for your own sanity.

[AuriP 420]

While. I agree somewhat to what a few other had said about the reporting of her blogs, I however see many people come here to complain about how this friend or family member doesn't support their decisions in one way or another. This is really no different in that term just a more public form of it. We rally around that person and tell them that that friend/family member is wrong and should be ashamed. Please remember though, her friend started all of this, she could have simply ended the friendship and moved on, instead she publicly humiliated the Poster. She continues to belittle and down the poster with the many attempts by blogging. What really gets me though, is the fact that she deletes any postings on her blog that disagree with her, and then call all the posters she did delete "fat haters". I honestly think true fat haters all spout the diet and exercise, and put down the fork sometimes crap I see all over the web. They will never understand our true struggles. I have a friend who is about 125 soaking wet and can eat 3x as much as I do. She however has never told me to put the fork down sometimes, or even mentioned my weight at all. Sorry for all the ramblings.

Sharon: please dump the toxic and discover new friends, and a true sense of how you want people to treat you, I'm sure she has criticized you in more ways than just this wls and fat acceptance bs she is spouting.

[Roo101769 742]

Heaven's Gate prophet Marshall Applewhite (Do), drinking the Kool Aid with Jim Jones, and your "friend" in fat acceptance. They are all the same type people. Mentally unbalanced, sociopaths / psychopaths that appear intelligent. Therefore, their arguments MUST be correct as they use big words and are passionate in their delivery. We all know from history that these charismatic preachers are nothing but suicidal, delusional, mentally disturbed people who need an audience to hold them up. The end result is never a good thing. It is best you have found out who she really is before her beliefs had a chance to ruin your life. Cut all ties. Ignore her rantings. Eventually this prophet of fat acceptance will find another way to spout her message to any naïve person who too is struggling with their weight issues. It is sad these people exist in the world, but they do. You just must find your own way without their insanity.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I would not be angry with her – but definitely be done.

Your friend needs help, I think, but it is not anything you are going to be able to provide. I noticed a lot or repetition of “betrayal”, “right to be happy”, and implying she assumes you only have a cosmetic need to be thin.

What she writes about culling her friends based on people having opinions that differs from hers, and readily using exceptionally harsh labels – then seeing how minute a guideline she has for deciding someone is hateful – is either a seriously internalized issue OR (and?) an actually quite common social media “tool” – you actually see writing like this a lot on more blogs and news that is very biased.

Whatever is going on with her, and whatever she has gone through – one serious point – she is willing to be open and hateful, rude and still passive-aggressive to an extent, since she has not actually outed you.

I’m sorry you are going through this but just remove her from being able to follow or contact you .

One more thing. I recommend you pay attention to who and why your friends feel the need to point out that she is doing this. You know it, they know it – so let it go. Drop her, drop the subject, drop the hunt to see how she expresses her displeasure.

[mcherder 13]

Its sounds like your former associate (she was never your friend, and does not deserve to be called one) is spinning on your own jealousy and lack of control over others. Stand tall on your bold decision to your own wellbeing. I am more to happy to be pal as well.