Fighting To Keep My Perspective

[MorningGlory 3]

I was sleeved almost 7 months ago. I am thankful to have had no complications, and I have lost over 100 pounds. I have avoided going shopping for new clothes, with the exception of scrubs (I'm a nurse) and a couple pairs of jeans, because shopping has always been such a depressing and traumatic experience. Last week, I finally gave in and went shopping because the clothes I was wearing were beginning to look ridiculous from being too big. I currently weigh 192 pounds, am 5'8" tall, take after my father with wide shoulders and big feet (thanks dad! LOL!). I still have about 25 pounds I'd like to lose. As I faced the dreaded dressing room, I had hopes this experience would be better than those I've had in the past. I was so disappointed to find that, even with this huge weight lose, I still wear a 1X-2X shirt. I have no illusions that I'm a tiny person, or ever will be, I was just so hopeful of being able to shop in the "regular" side of the store for once in my life. I know this may sound trivial to some, but it really threw me off track for an entire week. I had been absolutely abiding by my nutrition plan since the second I came out of surgery . . . and then, after this shopping experience, I kind of "lost my mind" for a few days. I've been very depressed and upset, and worst of all, I've eaten junk for 3 days! What the heck happened to me? I am disappointed that I let myself get derailed so easily! I got up this morning, determined to get myself straightened out, exercised, and am eating appropriately. I am struggling to keep my perspective and know that no matter what size the tag in the shirt says, I am healthier and happier than I was 7 months ago. Truthfully, it is hard, especially as a woman I think, to let go of stereotypes and accept and embrace yourself (all of yourself) fully. Do I still want to be able to shop in the "normal" size clothes? Yes, I do. Will I ever be able to? I don't know, maybe, maybe not. I have to be able to accept that if I don't ever wear a "L" instead of 1X, then that is okay. I have decided to replace the negative thoughts I've had with positive ones and move on. I struggle every day, as I know many of your do. Just wanted to share what I've been experiencing. Thanks!

[HHHappy 225]

Did you try different brands? Some things I wear a 1x top and others, large or extra large. I know it's hard to look at that size tag. That is something we ALL need to toss aside and just wear what looks good on us. Same thing with number on the scale. Lose until you feel good!

[awold0 246]

100 pounds in 7 months!! you will get there you are doing so good. I have lost 115 LB and I totally understand. I am 5"7 and am at 160. I keep thinking I should be out of a large and size 12. I see people that are in the 150 and 160 and are in a 8-10. figured it is just my frame and I try to keep positive. 100 lb's in 7 months is crazy good!!

Glad that you have a positive attitude today! keep it up we can do this.

[marfar7 1,528]

I know exactly what u mean. After going from 250 to 150, my bra size has only gone from 44DD to 40D. Not much of a change (seeing as my jeans have gone from 22 to an 8). I still wear an XL on top. Dresses fit me so awkwardly. I luv them and always try them on but don't have very many that are actually flattering. It looks so stupid being top heavy. I look like a marshmallow being held up by 2 toothpicks.

Not sure (besides major cosmetic surgery) how to balance my body out. Guess it's my Swedish genes (thanks gramma Olga!)

Hubby seems to enjoy me being top heavy tho! So glad someone enjoys it cuz I dont. Still can't buy the cute little bras. Victoria Secret doesn't usually carry sizes larger than a 38 in the stores. Still gotta buy the old lady "over the shoulder boulder holders"

Oh well. Guess we can't have everything...

[AlwaysLorri 31]

_{You may not shop the "regular sizes" yet but you no longer shop in your closet. The clothes you have fit you BIG! I can't wait to have that experience. Women body types are all different. I can't wait to shop for new clothes in a few months be it a 1x at a regular store instead of a 1x at a plus-size store. BIG difference! My best to you all.}

[slvrsax 301]

I had a similar experience last week. I'm 202 and 5'8. I have pretty much moved down to misses sizes, size 16, or so I thought. Slacks for work just weren't fitting me right - size 16 (misses) was fitting everywhere but gapping in the waist. Out of desperation I went back to the women's department and tried on a 14W. They fit much better but it was kind of a bummer that I'm still in women's sizes! I'm in an XL top depending on how it is made. Size 16 dress (misses).

[MorningGlory 3]

Thanks for the replies everyone! I really appreciate you sharing your experiences and encouragement with me! I will go shopping again soon, and this time I'll try different stores and sizes, etc. Good to know I'm not alone in this shopping frustration! : )

[shadhe 4]

Exercise like Pilates and functional exercise (ball bands kettle bells etc) can help build muscle that can even out the body .vi have been doing Pilates for 4 yrs now. I'm still presurgery but at my current weight I am wearing sizes that years ago I was wearing at 30 lb lighter than I am now. I have more muscle in the right places. Bit for me I need to loose weight to try to get rid of my diabetes.

[southernsoul 773]

I've gone from a size 26/28 to about a size 14 right now. I'm 5'6, currently weigh about 206 & have a larger frame. Like marfar above, I'm looking weirdly top heavy now & don't particularly like that. I recently bought a cute dress in a juniors store that was a 3X and another dress from Chadwick's that is a medium. Both fit me just fine, which is kinda crazy. Women's sizing is all over the place, so if I ever feel like I'm losing perspective I just put on one of the things I kept from my biggest sizes. Seeing how ginormous those clothes are on me now always makes me feel better.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Yep. I haven't lost much the last month or two but I am still mostly an XL in women's tops, and anywhere from a 10-14 in bottoms. I do have a couple of dresses that are 14W that I can still wear but most of them (and most of the 16 bottoms I have) are on the giveaway pile all of a sudden.

It feels excruciatingly slow, but I have to remind myself all the time that it's a process. And I also am well-endowed, so I am trying to combat this by wearing things that show off my waist whenever possible, even if I can't get down into the next lower size on top.

[Cindy vsg 7]

Well I'm 5'6", weight 174 and still wear a L/XL tops and 14/16 pants. I have 29 lbs to go, but I suspect that until I can manage a Tummy Tuck, I'll always wear at least a 12 in pants. We're all shaped differently, either we commit to working out butts off to fix what we can and get plastics on the rest or embrace our success and carry on. The way I see it, when I weighed 290lbs, I didn't look good in clothes or naked. Now at 174, I still don't look good naked, but I do look a lot better in clothes you'll get to the reg sizes, you're almost there

[lkleigh 38]

Everyone needs to forget about sizes and wear what flatters your body. I used to know a girl who worked in a jeans factory. She said if they needed to fill an order for 150 size 16 jeans and they only had 140 pairs, they would take 10 pairs if size 14 and sew size 16 tags in them and ship them out. I try to remember that when I try on something in "my size" that doesn't fit(instead of crying in the dressing room. Lol). Hope that helps a little.