Rant!

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

I've raised two girls to womanhood and nursed their broken hearts through many hurt feelings caused by their so-called "friends." I will repeat to you what I told them (and showed them with my two best friends)..... A "friend" is someone who loves you, supports you, lifts you up, protects you, and is there for you in good times as well as bad times. A "friend" realizes that two people will not always see eye to eye over every issue, but will support you with your issue, and more importantly will be there to support you (closed lipped) if your decision falls through. There are acquaintances, friends, and true friends. True friends are a rarity, but when you have one or two, you know it!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I've raised two girls to womanhood and nursed their broken hearts through many hurt feelings caused by their so-called "friends." I will repeat to you what I told them (and showed them with my two best friends)..... A "friend" is someone who loves you, supports you, lifts you up, protects you, and is there for you in good times as well as bad times. A "friend" realizes that two people will not always see eye to eye over every issue, but will support you with your issue, and more importantly will be there to support you (closed lipped) if your decision falls through. There are acquaintances, friends, and true friends. True friends are a rarity, but when you have one or two, you know it!

That sounded so wonderful. It made me realize that I have never ever had a true friend. Relationships but not true friendships. Someday I hope I can get me one of those!!!!!

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

But RJ you have been a good friend to so many people here. Your support and insight has meant so much to so many trying to get ready for this surgery and then through the process itself. I think you are awesome.

[dragonflylvr21 161]

Thank you guys for the wonderful advice! I called her today and told her how I felt! She said... She never meant to make me feel this way! So we will see where things go from here!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

But RJ you have been a good friend to so many people here. Your support and insight has meant so much to so many trying to get ready for this surgery and then through the process itself. I think you are awesome.

Thank you for that..But it is true....Even when I thought I had a best friend for years I realized that it was only a relationship one way. I am not friends on a personal basis with anyone right now. It is tough but what happened to me over the last several months cleared any doubts I had. I will be okay.......This is part of learning who you are and making changes for the good!

[Sharpie 3,306]

my best friend is one of those rare people who no matter what supports me . She even came down here (3 hours away) to be with me when I had surgery. She spent the night in the hospital room with me all night (my husband wasn't feeling well) he has his own health issues.. Anyway she helped me with the bed pan, held my head so I wouldn't puke . Anesthesia always makes me sick. She made sure I got my meds on time. But she knows that if she were to have any surgery or anything I would be there for her. She does not have a weight problem but understands mine. She never discouraged me through all my crazy diets she just said keep trying. We do not always agree about everything but we've known each other 20 years and we are like sisters. I am very blessed to have one true friend.

[Sharpie 3,306]

I meant to say that I am a very lucky woman, I have a wonderful supportive family and one best friend. I know this process is difficult enough without a naysayer telling you how you made the wrong decision. Trust me in the end you will be so happy you chose the lapband.

[terrydumont46 1,954]

when I read all the quick wt losses from the other sites I do turn a bit green. we work so very hard for our poundage. the way I deal with it , right or wrong is they maybe losing the weight now but so many start gaining the wt. back because they never learned to eat healthy. just what not to eat. so I shrug my shoulders knowing my body is having the time it needs to adjust and that I don't have gerd, reflux or even indigestion. I don't have to worry about dumping syndrome. and if my wt. slows down or stops I always have the choice to have my band adjusted. your friend is just being boastful. you can ignore it because if I lost as much as she has I would be boastful too. but if she tells you that you chose the wrong surgery my comment back to her would be that all wls are choices we make for ourselves for different reasons. its not all about wt loss.

[dragonflylvr21 161]

I thank god everyday for this band! It saved my life... And continues to save it... one pound at a time!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Your friend needs to be acquainted with the risks of both surgeries and that you made a less riskier choice with a less invasive surgery. Also, malabsorption issues with RNY are always a concern.

The two surgeries are opposites of each other. RNY or Bypass is a forced way to absorb fewer calories. She has little choice unless she finds a way to eat around the surgery and it can and is done regularly. The band is more of a voluntary choice of consuming fewer calories by dimming the appetite. It takes a stronger person to succeed with the band. imo

tmf

Why does she "need to be acquainted"? She can't undo what she did and it's your OPINION that LB is less risky than another option, definitely not fact.

Why should the OP lower herself to her "friend's" level of asinine behavior? I agree that she should distance herself from someone who is obviously self absorbed and rude, but to lash out in such a hateful way would make her no better.

As for taking a "stronger person" to succeed with the band? I am going to chuckle to myself and back away from responding to such a ridiculous statement.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Here's what I said to my bestie: I demand that you be supportive me even if you disagree with the decision I made.

You don't have to say it like that, of course, but if you don't say something very clear, it doesn't sound like she is going to understand your point of view.

You owe it to her and your long friendship to be direct.

This. Absolutely!

[NICU-RN 31]

If you truly want to keep her as a friend, you owe it to yourself to be honest with her. That means telling her exactly what you told us. Let her know how it hurts your feelings, what you need from her and then after laying it all out so she can see what you are feeling, give the friendship one more chance. If she cannot or will not change her behavior towards you, then she truly is no friend and you have given the friendship everything you could. But you need to be honest in a non-threatening way (using "I" statements- I feel ...when you do....) She apparently is not very empathetic or tactful, has a blind spot when it comes to her behavior, and thus cannot be expected to change what she doesn't realize hurts you.

[2muchfun 8,927]

Why does she "need to be acquainted"? She can't undo what she did and it's your OPINION that LB is less risky than another option, definitely not fact.

Why should the OP lower herself to her "friend's" level of asinine behavior? I agree that she should distance herself from someone who is obviously self absorbed and rude, but to lash out in such a hateful way would make her no better.

As for taking a "stronger person" to succeed with the band? I am going to chuckle to myself and back away from responding to such a ridiculous statement.

Seriously??

They must hand out those "host" badges to any newbie off the street if you really believe that placing a band around someone's stomach isn't less risky than removing their stomach and rerouting their intestines?

And acquainting her friend to what I believe are the differences is what I would do. This is an open forum right, or are you the forum Nazi who gets to scold people you disagree with?

And I stand by my statement that losing weight with the band is harder than losing with the sleeve or RNY? Chuckle all you want and if you want proof, I can produce. Although, I shouldn't have to since your one of the "Hosts" and supposedly wiser than most??

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Why does she "need to be acquainted"? She can't undo what she did and it's your OPINION that LB is less risky than another option, definitely not fact.

Why should the OP lower herself to her "friend's" level of asinine behavior? I agree that she should distance herself from someone who is obviously self absorbed and rude, but to lash out in such a hateful way would make her no better.

As for taking a "stronger person" to succeed with the band? I am going to chuckle to myself and back away from responding to such a ridiculous statement.

Seriously??

They must hand out those "host" badges to any newbie off the street if you really believe that placing a band around someone's stomach isn't less risky than removing their stomach and rerouting their intestines?

And acquainting her friend to what I believe are the differences is what I would do. This is an open forum right, or are you the forum Nazi who gets to scold people you disagree with?

And I stand by my statement that losing weight with the band is harder than losing with the sleeve or RNY? Chuckle all you want and if you want proof, I can produce. Although, I shouldn't have to since your one of the "Hosts" and supposedly wiser than most??

Let's keep to the subject of the poster who is upset about her friends lack of support. Looks to me like she has posted what she has done about it and is going to do about it as well.

This is an open forum but not one that allows personal attacks between members. Please be advised. The rules are here to keep a balance of information and personal experiences to help one another.

Thank you for your consideration.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Why does she "need to be acquainted"? She can't undo what she did and it's your OPINION that LB is less risky than another option, definitely not fact.

Why should the OP lower herself to her "friend's" level of asinine behavior? I agree that she should distance herself from someone who is obviously self absorbed and rude, but to lash out in such a hateful way would make her no better.

As for taking a "stronger person" to succeed with the band? I am going to chuckle to myself and back away from responding to such a ridiculous statement.

Seriously??

They must hand out those "host" badges to any newbie off the street if you really believe that placing a band around someone's stomach isn't less risky than removing their stomach and rerouting their intestines?

And acquainting her friend to what I believe are the differences is what I would do. This is an open forum right, or are you the forum Nazi who gets to scold people you disagree with?

And I stand by my statement that losing weight with the band is harder than losing with the sleeve or RNY? Chuckle all you want and if you want proof, I can produce. Although, I shouldn't have to since your one of the "Hosts" and supposedly wiser than most??

Sorry, bud... I refuse to be reeled into a p!ssing match with you nor will I put down your choice of surgery or anyone else's .

As for calling me a "forum Nazi"? Nope. Not at all. Just as you have the right to post your opinion, I have the right to post mine. Fortunately, I know how to do so without name calling. I'd suggest you figure out how to do that same but I fear that would ruffle your feathers even more so than they already are.

I hope you have a great evening!