Leaving..

[cheryl2586 3,053]

As far as the answer of us saying call your doctor it is because we can not medically decipher if you are having a medical issue. Chest pain, leg pain, any kind of pain you are having that is not normal should be told to your doctor. Those who say they hate to bother them that is just ridiculous because I am sorry they are getting paid a lot of money to diagnose you properly or tell you to go the Er if they think something needs immediate attention. As far as this forum goes there are many people from many different places and stages in their journey. When someone seems rude to you I would really like to know how you can determine that assumption from written words. I have never since being in this forum ever written anything out of anger. But have been presumably called rude, hated, need to mind my business but isn't people posting things in an open forum our business if you post it. You will never get the answer you want to hear if you are admitting you just blatantly decided to eat what you wanted for a month or two (this is not literally either its just a statement)and wonder why the scale is not moving. There are just some people who have followed their doctors program exactly how it was made for them but want to know what everyone else is doing. What works for me is not necessarily going to work for you. I never went by anyone's elses plan's here. I took the plan my doctor gave me and that is what I used. I have not at anytime put my diet on here so that others may follow it. It is not for you it was made for me. I can give ideas of high Protein foods but would never expect anyone to eat the way I do.

[dee257 1,516]

Hello...

I am one that has left...I loved the site when I first came...

and I learned lots...I was not in the site 24/7 like some here...I tried to be a voice to some and like many of you have stated..if you didn't say what some one liked they bashed you...and I was doing great....I knew the bashing was from ones not doing so great...I didn't and don't care who likes or dislikes me....I hated seeing the MEANESS I was seeing....

I am not a mean person and I remember where I started...I did fallow my Drs orders to the best of my ability....I was afraid not to....but then I started reading how some ate pizza 3 days out or this or that and I really worried about newbies thinking...WOW you mean I can eat that and I wont hurt my band....the ones that posted were more BULLIES then concerning friends....and I didn't care for that either...so yes I went to FB and stay with a bunch of girls..that arnt always 100% agreeable but we do listen and were are all allowed to have our own opion...

I wish you all well...

~hugs~

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Hello Carolina

I didn't read this entire post (sorry), but just wanted to say that I'm one of those who comes infrequently when I use to come daily. I really enjoyed the older format but am struggling with the new site.

As a successful bandster, I have different needs. One of them is to just socialize with other vets who don't have the q's, but understand the lifestyle. So when I need a kick in the butt, when I have a q about moderation/maintenance etc I have some one to bounce a q off of. But again, it's the social aspect I needed just as much. Noone understands you better than an ex-obese person who also got a band and also made goal. That is a very hard combination to match in real life. But in the new site I don't see my buds in the chat rooms, emails have died down etc so I've lost that social component.

But like everyone else, I too need to keep myself mindful of my band and my wl. I come on here just to remind myself of rules, what I committed to, what I accomplished etc. And when I can, I will extend a thought or two.

I'm more of a chat room kinda gal..but still a bandster regardless

[michpell39 399]

I understand why people are leaving , it just not have the same support people band bashing and what not , I am glad you are staying I enjoy reading your posts and enjoy the advice you have to give, I take this board with a grain of salt and only read the post that are not filled with the silliness

[Jim1967 3,569]

Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes...

My parting comment for this thread concerns the following of Doctors orders to the letter.

I will say though when it came to following Doctors directions I did so to a T in the beginning but even my own Doctor told me I need to learn to live with it and he may not have all the answers. He placed the band but never lived with one.

What it comes down to is common sense. Someone posting that they have not eaten in 5 days and throw everything up including liquid and have yet to call their Doctor....clearly lack common sense.

[B-52 7,113]

In the end...it really doesn't matter.....if I read a post I can relate to, I'll respond to it with my experience(s) on that subject....

If anyone has a problem with what I say, it's their problem, because for me it's a day to day reality...and I can't hide or deny myself....

[lellow 1,713]

Haven't read everything but wanted to say that I come, I go, I come back again. I leave when I start getting sick of the infighting, or if I am all "talked out" about the lapband, I come back when I feel like chatting again. This place isn't real life for me, it's a forum and forums are for exchanging info. If I don't feel like talking, I don't, if I feel like it, I come back and chat, sometimes in the forums when I want to help, sometimes in the chat room when I just want to shoot the breeze.

I doubt I'd ever leave for good. Like the band, it's a tool for me, my weight loss and now my weight maintenance. I will always get something out of this site. I've made great friends and will probably continue to, and in that alone there is a value to me.

If you piss me off (and people do, I'm only human) I walk away and realise my life is bigger than this place. So within seconds I forget to give a crap about the opinions of someone I don't know and am not invested in.

So I may be MIA sometimes but no one is ever getting rid of me for good I don't think.

[dawalsh 919]

Well, I'm here but not like when it was the old forum. I liked the old forum so much better. I would not mind joining a private FB GROUP but I won't leave this forum. I'm still working on my "cruise to lose" which I started on the old forum. If anyone is interested just PM me. I lost all my people who were interested when Alex changed the forum.

[gowalking 10,790]

Hello Carolina

I didn't read this entire post (sorry), but just wanted to say that I'm one of those who comes infrequently when I use to come daily. I really enjoyed the older format but am struggling with the new site.

As a successful bandster, I have different needs. One of them is to just socialize with other vets who don't have the q's, but understand the lifestyle. So when I need a kick in the butt, when I have a q about moderation/maintenance etc I have some one to bounce a q off of. But again, it's the social aspect I needed just as much. Noone understands you better than an ex-obese person who also got a band and also made goal. That is a very hard combination to match in real life. But in the new site I don't see my buds in the chat rooms, emails have died down etc so I've lost that social component.

But like everyone else, I too need to keep myself mindful of my band and my wl. I come on here just to remind myself of rules, what I committed to, what I accomplished etc. And when I can, I will extend a thought or two.

I'm more of a chat room kinda gal..but still a bandster regardless

Hi Hazel. Nice to see you post. I too am not in the chat room much these days...

[jfc193 718]

While the new site is a bit difficult to follow and I do miss the old forma, this forum has been very helpful.

After six years I come and go and if I stay away to long I can count on hearing from Alex twice a year on my birthday and my lap band joining anniversary.

When I do stay away it is usually when I start to go back to my old stinking thinking avoidance ways, and coming back is one way to stay focused.

While I do not pretend to be a good bandster and probably will never reach my goal weiight keeping off over a hundred pounds for almost 5 years is quite the accomplishment.

Whether people come and go on this forum is truly their choice.

[mrsto 2,925]

Haven't read everything but wanted to say that I come, I go, I come back again. I leave when I start getting sick of the infighting, or if I am all "talked out" about the lapband, I come back when I feel like chatting again. This place isn't real life for me, it's a forum and forums are for exchanging info. If I don't feel like talking, I don't, if I feel like it, I come back and chat, sometimes in the forums when I want to help, sometimes in the chat room when I just want to shoot the breeze.

I doubt I'd ever leave for good. Like the band, it's a tool for me, my weight loss and now my weight maintenance. I will always get something out of this site. I've made great friends and will probably continue to, and in that alone there is a value to me.

If you piss me off (and people do, I'm only human) I walk away and realise my life is bigger than this place. So within seconds I forget to give a crap about the opinions of someone I don't know and am not invested in.

So I may be MIA sometimes but no one is ever getting rid of me for good I don't think.

Ditto! Sometimes I just need a break from it, for a garden variety of reasons.

[donna450 130]

Ditto! Sometimes I just need a break from it, for a garden variety of reasons.

This has been going on for awhile "bitchin" there's no real advice just a sounding board for those who are unhappy with any newbies and their stupidity. Now where I am in my banding I still have questions but not from here. This is a war zone. And everyone seems to be war weary but still complain about the same old thing. I do come for any new advice skip over what I've learned already but I do take everything with the concept will it work for me. But no banding advice is coming from this forum.....just complaints about complaints! How does that help anyone? Yes vent but move on. And thats what I'm doing.

[B-52 7,113]

Ditto! Sometimes I just need a break from it, for a garden variety of reasons.

This has been going on for awhile "bitchin" there's no real advice just a sounding board for those who are unhappy with any newbies and their stupidity. Now where I am in my banding I still have questions but not from here. This is a war zone. And everyone seems to be war weary but still complain about the same old thing. I do come for any new advice skip over what I've learned already but I do take everything with the concept will it work for me. But no banding advice is coming from this forum.....just complaints about complaints! How does that help anyone? Yes vent but move on. And thats what I'm doing.

I've been here for 3 years, I did leave for about a year though for the same reasons.....

I have found the negativity comes and goes....not much you can do about it......

I will say that lately it has been very peaceful and positive around here....I'm sure it won't last...perhaps it is the new forum.

[mrsto 2,925]

I've been on this site since early March. I've been pretty active at different times, but burn out on it for many reasons already stated above. The other piece is, that it starts taking too much time out of my day, so I have to completely "close the door" to stay focused on my work. Amazing how much I caught up on when my attention wasn't diverted to this site.

For me, this has become more of a social outlet over actual lap band support. I'm glad to give support, but I rarely seek it out for myself. Though I've lost most of my weight, I'm far from a "model lap band citizen". If I'm struggling with anything band related; emotional, habitual or anything else, I will not post it on this site.....which is a shame. Though I've made some friends here, overall, it's not a safe place if you're struggling with band compliance. Sometimes, all anyone wants is to talk with people who may be going through the same thing. But the backlash by some of the (apparent) "model band citizens" isn't worth it.

[Steffyp 63]

I would like to throw my 2 cents in if I may. I am an relatively new bandsters still adjusting to this new way of life. I am mostly a lurker and don't always post. I do read pretty much everything on here because I really do not have the time to go to my local support group. I admit I do not come on her every day because you see the same questions from the newly banded, but that's ok because when I was newly banded I had the same questions and was thankful that there was an experienced bandster there to help me. If I come across a thread that is going in a negative direction, I stop reading that one and move on to another one. I don't invite negativity and if it creeps in I high tail it in another direction.

I find the posts from the veterans very helpful and I am looking forward to the day when I'm in that position. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, keep giving advice from your standpoint and telling about your experience. I'm sure there are more people out there who appreciate the advice but may not post that versus the ones who want to argue.