Leaving..

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Do you really think I was being serious about a whole pie. Come on now that is what I am talking about. Some people only one person taking my post out of total context and making it what they want it to be. Just like I said. I could write 10 stories and ten people will take it ten different ways. That is why I don't come here because you see one person misconveys exactly what I was saying taking every word I say literally and would end up in an argument. I have no need for people like this in my life. Have a happy day and life. I am done here.

[Alex Brecher 10,484]

Why not start a thread or folder for the vets to hang out and discuss their progress, questions, etc. just for those already banded? Those vets that wish to participate in the newbie threads can do so, and those that don't....don't. If this place was just for newbies it would not be very successful!

We created the Veterans Forum with this exact purpose: http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/357-lap-band-veterans-forum/ . We have one for each procedure.

[KYBrownEyes 67]

Just my two cents...not all newbies are internet savvy. They might start new threads not knowing how to search for their question. They might not even be used to a computer. They might not know forum "etiquette". Many people may not have had any kind of surgery before. Speaking from my own experience, even though my doctor gave me information, most of it really didn't sink in until after my surgery. My first pre-op visit I had a whole list of questions for him. I joined this forum to get additional information from people who already went through what I was currently experiencing and hoping to learn from their mistakes, and also any tips or advice. All the vets were new once, and since they are now experienced, may tend to forget what it is like to be new. Obviously this place is meant to be informative and fun. When it no longer meets your needs, then it is time to move on. You will keep in contact with those you have gotten to be close to.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

this thread is not a slam to newbies or anyone else

let me get this straight

who am i to judge and who am i to say do it this way etc....that is not me

most of us who post often absolutely do try to offer suggestions

i do however get frustrated when some people chose not to follow their dr's advice...intentionally

and post it.......i see it all the time (on this forum and other wls forums)...but hey, its their rodeo

i will continue to try and encorage anyone because i am still newbie to this band thing and will

always seek guidance/support......sure i am banded 18 months, but i am new to fills, pb'ing etc as i havent

had the priviledge of enjoying those yet.....

again, seek support guidance but always do what one's one dr recommends

no matter what one reads on here or anywhere on the web......

Edited December 22, 2013 by ☠carolinagirl☠
forgot to put n in a word

[gowalking 10,790]

OK, here's my take on it for what it's worth. I've thought about leaving more than once. It's hard at times to not be judgmental but to also help people to understand accountability. You have to be rational about the band and follow the darn rules...you just have to..it's that simple. If you want to fail, it's easy to do so. Even if you don't want to fail, it's easy to do so. We all know this even if we don't admit to it.

And it's true...you see the same topics over and over. But I try to remember that these are not the same topics to those going through these issues/concerns for the first time.

I do my best to recall how scared I was a year ago, and how this forum helped me to really get a better handle on what what happening. I only knew one person who had been banded and all she did was tell me how great it was without giving me the details I needed. I got those details and personal experiences here and I can't begin to say how much that helped me.

Now almost a year post banded, I am fortunate enough to be successful at it, and as such I try to inspire those who are looking for said inspiration. Every once in a while, someone tells me how important my posts are to them and in the end...that's why I stay.

Oh...and one more thing. I've made some really amazing connections on this site..and with people I'd have never met otherwise. I've made friends and confidants here..and that means alot to me.

[kll724 3,055]

kll724, on 21 Dec 2013 - 19:11, said:

I agree with both you, cg and cheryl! But I am glad to host, at least I feel with "host" they think our opinions matter, a little! Haha! We are all just learners in a world where there are few experts! Well ladies, stay or go, I love reading you both! You too B-52, & catfish!Karen..aka..kll724

karen, i am going no where.......let me make that clear......i (need) this forum

for friendship and something to hold myself accountable

i cant talk the talk without me walking.......albeit in 6 inch heels

Really? 6 inch heels? I can only manage 2 inches, then I think I wish I was younger and braver! HAHA!

[Ballermom 803]

I do miss seeing some Vets who supported me. Many very successful ones that I haven't seen on here lately.

[B-52 7,113]

Yes...we were all new to this at one time or another...and I remember how frustrated I was within those first months...I felt this was a big waste of my time, effort and $$....

But some of the things veterans told me back then, I simply did not believe them, or could not comprehend what they were actually saying....and now I find myself in that boat...when people state they are having an issue, I want to say things but I know I should not...it would only confuse things.

It would be like describing what it is like to "Fly" when they are still figuring out how to "Walk", to manage those first steps without falling down......

Yesterday, I went to another Christmas party...one of the best of all time....I will NOT even begin to share all the fantastic food that was there, what I ate, drank, and just carried on with into the night.....it was FANTASTIC....

But when you read the majority of posts here, people are freaking out because they ate a potato chip or a cookie!

It's hard for veterans to say anything, other than to encourage people and let them know it does work, it will get better and easier, and it will give you a NEW LIFE unlike anything you can imagine right now....if you let it!

[parisshel 1,892]

This site was and is very important to me. Initially (preband) it was a good source of information, along with my surgeon. I remember one of the most important posts I read prior to being banded was written by a nurse who described in great detail a "typical" lapband operation, from entering the hospital through post-op release. She adressed why we are given support stockings, how they would put us to sleep, what that experience is like, etc etc. It really helped me feel more at ease in terms of the surgery, because I like to know what to expect.

As I progress from pre-op to post-op to I guess one could call me a pre-veteran at this point (10 months post op), I target what I'm going to read and where I'm going to wander about in this site. Obviously the pre-op rubric is of little interest to me at this point, so I don't go there, but I don't rule out popping in from time to time to hold a nervous pre-ops' hand, electronically- speaking.

I get great information from those who have walked this path before me and I focus on their posts. I also hope that one day, when I'm an "after", I will provide a pre-op with the kind of inspiration and sound advice that I got from the veterans.

I do not have a real-life support system (info/support groups are not part of the culture I live in and are not provided by my surgeon/hospital) so I seek that motivation and support here. I check in here everyday and trust me, when my motivation is waning, this forum and the vets are my kick in the butt to keep going. I see what can be done when information is paired with compliance.

I am grateful to those of you who share respectfully and intelligently, with your humor, real-life knowledge and gentleness. I'm grateful for those that do not leave, and continue to help me along this essential, transformative path. Without you, I would have been so very much on my own.

[KYBrownEyes 67]

It is hard as a newly banded person to adapt to the new lifestyle! Many of us had tried dieting and had no success. Around the holidays is much worse! I have no willpower! If I did, I could have done this without the band. Yes, I have my doctor's instructions on what to eat and how much, but when my lack of willpower takes over....all that goes out the window! I need to keep coming back here to get motivation!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

It is hard as a newly banded person to adapt to the new lifestyle! Many of us had tried dieting and had no success. Around the holidays is much worse! I have no willpower! If I did, I could have done this without the band. Yes, I have my doctor's instructions on what to eat and how much, but when my lack of willpower takes over....all that goes out the window! I need to keep coming back here to get motivation!

...i have not ever believed in will power.....i can will myself into ANY thing..

but what i have is want power....i want it bad enough to do what i have to do...and when/if i falter (or have neg feelings about myself) i recall me not hardly being able to walk or having issues wiping my a*ss with its own zip code backside.....that usually puts me back into, getting on with it...

hang in there GF

like you, i come here for motivation also

[donna450 130]

It is hard as a newly banded person to adapt to the new lifestyle! Many of us had tried dieting and had no success. Around the holidays is much worse! I have no willpower! If I did, I could have done this without the band. Yes, I have my doctor's instructions on what to eat and how much, but when my lack of willpower takes over....all that goes out the window! I need to keep coming back here to get motivation!

Ditto...there's no place to consistently go to..not even your dr...who can help you forge ahead than the others who have tried and succeeded. I say that I will always keep coming back b/c we are not alone in our struggles and triumphs.

[lisacaron 5,075]

This is just my 2cents...

I think that people simply stumble onto the site. They are new WLS patients who are struggling or they are curious about WLS. Some of them have been doing research on WLS some have consulted with doctors and some have gotten the surgery already. All of us are desperate to change our lives and lose weight and some are so desperate they don't do any of the above. They don't research, they contract and have surgery with doctors they don't understand or trust and then they second guess themselves and their doctors and then they get on the internet and look for help and stumble onto the site.

So they ask questions and they admit to the unknown strangers that they are flawed and they have not listened to their doctors, they are eating pizza 3 days post op or they are vomiting non stop after eating because someone told them that's what lapband patients do.

Some are indignant and think they know it all, and some are preachy and negative and I could go on and on....but the bottom line to it all is that we are all humans in our many different faces and personalities. Some click and some rub and others chafe but we are all here for the same reasons.

That said, when I run into the poster that rubs, I try to have some tolerance. I try to step out of my comfort zone and ask myself why that person rubs me the wrong way. I may never know them in life other then words on a screen but something they wrote rubbed me wrong...and that has more to do with ME then it does with them.

The same goes for the ones that chafe, but those area's are a little harder to probe when they are raw.

I don't come here for the food, I come here for the support this site provides. The new site took a bit of adjusting, but so did my band and I can accept that and learn to live with it and even to love it.

YOU all of YOU are this site. It's not the moderator, the newbie, the Veteran, the surgeon, the doctor, the nurse or the plumber that make the site what it is, it is YOU the one reading this. YOU.

You make the site what it is, you have the power to make it supportive or to walk away from it. Gratefully there are some moderators and guardians at the gate that will not allow it to become a place of degradation and for that reason I feel comfortable enough to be able to share and participate with those of like mind and even those of adverse minds. Each of you have something to share, and something to teach and support is not real unless it comes from all sides. We need the balance to help keep us cradled in support as we grow stronger and leaner so that we may in turn cradle others in support be they new, old, soon to be or yet to be. They come here to see what YOU have to say, even if you have to say it more then once there is always someone who wants and needs to hear it/read it.

[Cindysmom (Ilene) 130]

I was just reading some other posts. I want to tell all of you that Cheryl is very educated on the Lapband. Her Dr is not only an excellent surgeon, he provides fantastic support.

While I didn't have him as a Dr. I did go to one of the support groups.

I wasn't lucky enough to have a job, let alone insurance to pay for the surgery, I was cash only. My dr was a good surgeon, but his follow up and support was almost nil. I was forced to learn on my own. I read a lot and joined groups.

I hope that it was ok for me to write this Cheryl. Perhaps we can meet in person some day.

Cindy's mom. Ilene.

[kll724 3,055]

Ilene, that is such a nice thing to say about Cheryl. She does try to be nice and helpful to others! Personally, she has never offended me, but others see her as a know it all. i just think that she has a lot of wisdom from being a lapband veteran and also in the medical field. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Karen..aka.kll724