Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

The Uncomfortable Truth....



Recommended Posts

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!!

I too hand out hugs!! :blush:

I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years!

At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up.

Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run.

Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!! I too hand out hugs!! :blush: I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years! At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up. Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run. Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

It must be very hard for little girls to grow up with a mom gone she sounds like she must of been a good mom and wife the short time you had her. It also sounds like your father loved her very much..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone says she was always so proud of here two little girls. Always smiling and showing us off. :)

I really didn't know any different growing up until I was about 9 or 10 then someone brought it up that is seemed weird that our dad raised us and no woman was around. Me I that mmm weird never thought of it like that. It had always been the three of us. No weird to us. But in the 80' it wasn't common for a man to raise 2 girls alone.

My dad is the best. He always worked so hard to be able to give us what we wanted and needed. He did the best he could providing for us and tryn to deal with his loss also. We moved a lot and I mean a lot!! He had to move where the work was. I would never change anything in my life....well cept having my mom and not being such an assed hole teenager to my dad... :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lmao yes yes all true!! :) She will say sorry after they kick her butt in R.O T.C lol....or if she joins the military. So time some where she will repent!! :D you be ready

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol she's going to boot camp in June. Im going to waiting for that phone call you know the one.. "I love you" "I'm sorry" "you were so nice" oh and "get me the fucked outta here!!" :P

Edited by laura-ven

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She will feel your loss!! lol what branch is she thinking of joining?

My sister was a Marine Drill Instructor also... :) She rules

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm pre-op (hoping for Feb or March). Each day I'm on this site I realize I was NEVER really alone in what it was like to be me. I'm 45 and so tired of living this life. I'm scared to do this. I'm even more scared not too. And what I realize now, after visiting this site daily for the last couple weeks, is that I'm still going to struggle, still occasionally going to fail, and still wrestle with the demons that helped me to my CW of 325#. I don't have the words to say how helpful this thread has been. Im responsible for my outcomes. But I definitely got this way for a multitude of reasons. I don't want to live this way any longer but I think the pain of tackling the "why's" has been my biggest deterrent, until now. I'm so glad to be here amongst you. Someone mentioned Pandora's Box. That's exactly how I feel. And it's not gonna be pretty at first. But it's a box that needs to open if I'm ever going to be the me I want to be. And I'm immediately going to speak French: "I have anger", "I have hunger". Brilliant! Thank you all so much. Especially RJ. You are a living, breathing, beautiful miracle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She will feel your loss!! lol what branch is she thinking of joining? My sister was a Marine Drill Instructor also... :) She rules

Army.. She was really set on the army for some reason.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Laura-Ven....any idea idea who slipped me happy pills? Lol!

I was lying here talking to my hubby and realized...I'm happy. It's so weird, I didn't even know what to name it it's been so long.

I know that it's got to be part of the emotional purge of this thread. So once again...thanks everybody!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an old newbie. I've been lurking here for a couple of months, but now that I've got a definate go for the surgery on Feb. 3 I thought I'd like to get my feet wet.

I'm 71 years old and have been fighting the battle for 55 years. I am not tired of the fight but I am sooooo tired of losing. I think this may be a solution for me. I've been thinking about why I eat and for me I think at my age it doesn't so much matter any more. I know I am a food addict, and that I am a binge eater and large portion eater. I have spent 5 years in pretty intensive therapy and lots of time contemplating the "why" of it and could never figure it out. I did however work out a lot of issues that left me pretty happy with my circumstances.

My story is pretty much your story. Different circumstances but same results. I lost large amounts of weight several times over the years, but the only thing that really worked for me was OA. I lost 180 pounds and kept it off for tive years but it required a minimum of a meeting a day and immersing myself in the program. When I found that I wanted to live life, too and backed off and branched out the weight gradually crept back on. I don't want to spend my remaining years in a wheel chair and miserable because of my obesity. This is my last best effort at losing it and I think it can work for me.

I am planning on using this site as my support group because I am an hour and a time zone away from the nearest support group and don't want to be driving the highway in the dark. I already feel like I know some of you and admire all of you for your courage and perseverence.

Chris

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!!

I too hand out hugs!! :blush:

I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years!

At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up.

Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run.

Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

I can't imagine what that would be like to lose a loving mother at such a young age. To grow up in a home with only a father to deal with all the changes a girl goes through...yikes! He must be some kind of special person to realize that you girls would need him so much and be there to take it all on...Bet there were times he really wanted to pull his hair out..lol

But seriously, that is very sad and I am sorry that happened and you have missed a special relationship with a caring mother..Thank you for sharing....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm pre-op (hoping for Feb or March). Each day I'm on this site I realize I was NEVER really alone in what it was like to be me. I'm 45 and so tired of living this life. I'm scared to do this. I'm even more scared not too. And what I realize now, after visiting this site daily for the last couple weeks, is that I'm still going to struggle, still occasionally going to fail, and still wrestle with the demons that helped me to my CW of 325#. I don't have the words to say how helpful this thread has been. Im responsible for my outcomes. But I definitely got this way for a multitude of reasons. I don't want to live this way any longer but I think the pain of tackling the "why's" has been my biggest deterrent, until now. I'm so glad to be here amongst you. Someone mentioned Pandora's Box. That's exactly how I feel. And it's not gonna be pretty at first. But it's a box that needs to open if I'm ever going to be the me I want to be. And I'm immediately going to speak French: "I have anger", "I have hunger". Brilliant! Thank you all so much. Especially RJ. You are a living, breathing, beautiful miracle.

When I saw my name at the bottom of your post my eyes filled up with tears that flowed freely....Yes this is the time to start to live again. To fight and be renewed in spirit and health....

Please don't look at it as I will fail at times..All of it is a part of the journey. The ups downs, screaming, the whys it is all for the good of who you are inside.....I have fought this fight for a long time and still struggle with my demons and I am so proud of you for knowing you have a huge fight ahead of you..

We will be here if and when you need us to sound off on and be there to console you as well.....Thank you for your comments....Your resolve is wonderful...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×