rejection Tired of women leaving me for the "cute skinny guy"

[luckysmomma 407]

Well, I am sorry you have been through all this...but honestly, I think men are much more judgmental on women's appearances (especially weight) than women are. I was skinny once upon a time...and I loved big guys - big & tall. As an obese woman, I still loved big guys - big & tall. I am sure when I get skinny again...I will still like my guys - big & tall. I am just not attracted to skinny men, or men on the more slender end of the stick. Just as I am certain that there are men who were not attracted to me at 5'10" at 150 or 5'10" at 300 plus. Physical attraction is just a mere very small part of the equation of a good relationship...in my eyes, a whole lot more counts...a whole lot more. Just my two cents!!

[ReDbEaN 654]

I agree luckysmomma...physical is only a small part...i do like big and tall men too...my hubby is 6'4.5" tall about 300+ lbs...but that's cuz I got lucky:-P

[cathycnyrs 85]

Those women were not the ones for you. I always dated bigger men, because I was bigger... kinda felt I needed a bigger man, I guess. I ran into an old friend from high school, that I had known since I was 12 and we started hanging out. My mind could not conceive dating him because he is a skinny guy, and short... he wears a size 29 pant (probably the same size he wore when he was 12)! Until another woman started texting him did I realize that I had feelings. I was jealous! It wasn't long after that he declared feelings for me and he knew I had struggled to lose a lot of weight, and he even said he'd love me if I gained it back and more (and that's what happened). My weight has limited me a lot. On vacation, I can't keep up, I can't do things and I'm scared I'll end up immobile. He has never pressured me. This was my idea. It is nice he loved me for me. I wasn't looking for a skinny guy, I couldn't imagine being with a skinny guy. I needed a big guy that made me feel smaller or something. But, I got a great man.

I always felt that only bigger men would consider dating me. Then when a skinny guy came into the picture I had to take a look at myself and see what I really wanted. The ex-husband was big, and has gotten bigger and bigger since the split. He sabatoged every weight loss attempt I made while with him. He was jealous if I did good, and was selfish because he wanted to eat out or whatever.

It is probably good that you are going into this not tied down. Don't settle. Just because the women that left you were bigger, didn't make them the right one. The world is your oyster. Keep an open mind, and life will lead you to the right person.

[gamergirl 4,608]

I'm surprised that no one has commented on this part: what do you mean left you for a different guy? Forget skinny or fat, if they left you for someone else, there was at least some amount of unfaithfulness, whether physical or mental. Most of us leave a relationship because it's not right for us. Not because we stayed in it until we found someone better.

My humble opinion? If three women have known another man well enough to decide they want to be with him--and this while they were still dating you!--then you're picking the wrong women. It's not about your weight, it's about your choices in women.

Btw, I was dating an Olympian, silver medal winner for his country when I ran into my now-husband, who was comfortably off but not stinking rich, and was overweight. And once I got to know him, the Olympian with his gorgeous and extremely muscled body did not stand a chance.

[VSG AJH 499]

I refused to give a childhood love a chance not too long ago because he was so skinny that it felt weird hugging him... all I could feel were bones' date=' and it wasn't even a really tight hug. I know that it sounds so bad of me, and that is precisely why this is the first time I'm admitting this to anyone. I have even battled with myself about this, telling myself that he's such a sweetheart and it's wrong to have that being a deal breaker.... buy unfortunately it was... all this to say, skinny is NOT always what everyone wants... ![/quote']

Absolutely agreed. Not every woman wants a skinny man. When I met my husband, I was 5' 10" and wore a 12/14, so I wasn't tiny, but I wasn't obese. I have a broad, muscular build and a formidable personality, and skinny men seem so puny. Even though I'm the designated burglar monitor in our house, I need someone behind me to look big and menacing. Those skinny guys are right for some women, but they're not right for all women. I'd like to hope these three choosing super skinny guys is merely coincidental, but regardless, there's a right woman out there for whom you will be just perfect.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Once you lose lots of weight you wont want the fat woman.. Concentrate on losing weight then you will have more confidence to date the good looking in shape girls.

Remember women dont want fat guys . Not even the fat women lol.

Tell that to my husband or any of my boyfriends before him. I was a fat hot chick, I am now a hot chubby chick and I will be a hot skinny chick.

The men in my life were attracted to me physically and mentally. I don't do superficial people like you are/are describing. I am FAR smarter than that.

I'd call your comments extremely offensive but I do find it quite delicious to see one's true colors.

[ReDbEaN 654]

Tell that to my husband or any of my boyfriends before him. I was a fat hot chick' date=' I am now a hot chubby chick and I will be a hot skinny chick. The men in my life were attracted to me physically and mentally. I don't do superficial people like you are/are describing. I am FAR smarter than that. I'd call your comments extremely offensive but I do find it quite delicious to see one's true colors. [/quote'] Haha! I love you and your sense of humor!!! And quite agree!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

And to the OP? Thank gawd you got away from them before you married 'em. You will find the person who deserves you and she will love you for all the RIGHT reasons, but first YOU have to love you for all the right reasons.

[Sleeved in Seattle 280]

OP: what was the common denominator in each of the three women (besides you )? If it's something changeable, maybe it's time to branch out!

[brittanykins 22]

Once you lose lots of weight you wont want the fat woman.. Concentrate on losing weight then you will have more confidence to date the good looking in shape girls.

Remember women dont want fat guys . Not even the fat women lol.

I am just in shock at everything you have said in both of your comments. YOU are attracted to thin people. Not everyone finds the same types of people attractive. "Good looking" does not equal "in shape" I personally prefer chubby men and women. Thin people are not attractive to me. But that does not mean that I would ever say as a matter of fact that everyone else shares this view. I'm not even sure you realize that everything you have written is insulting to almost everyone on this forum.

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Lipstick Lady, couldn't agree more! Whilst there are people who judge the book by the cover, many more look inside before passing judgement - and love what they see.

OP, I am getting close to goal so now look "normal" sized. I get chatted up by guys of all shapes and sizes (and I know some of them wouldn't have looked at me twice when I was 223lbs, my heaviest weight) .

But the man I lust after (and i use that word specifically!!) is a big guy. In some posters view, that's not how I should feel but I do, because attraction isn't as simple as how someone looks... and this guy has humour, kindness, a great attitude and he is comfortable in his own skin. He's also pretty cute, lol.

So whatever stage you are at in your weight loss, there's someone out there who will like and appreciate you for you. Be patient, they are there - if you love you, so will other people :-)))

[IdahoGirl32 89]

Oooh I love a big man. My husband is a big & tall guy. He's thinking about getting sleeved and I'm a little concerned!

When I told him I was getting sleeved, he was a little too excited...ha!

Op, you're cute! Find a woman who appreciates you for who you are!

[IdahoGirl32 89]

Oooh I love a big man. My husband is a big & tall guy. He's thinking about getting sleeved and I'm a little concerned!

When I told him I was getting sleeved, he was a little too excited...ha!

Op, you're cute! Find a woman who appreciates you for who you are!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I'm surprised that no one has commented on this part: what do you mean left you for a different guy? Forget skinny or fat, if they left you for someone else, there was at least some amount of unfaithfulness, whether physical or mental. Most of us leave a relationship because it's not right for us. Not because we stayed in it until we found someone better.

My humble opinion? If three women have known another man well enough to decide they want to be with him--and this while they were still dating you!--then you're picking the wrong women. It's not about your weight, it's about your choices in women.

Btw, I was dating an Olympian, silver medal winner for his country when I ran into my now-husband, who was comfortably off but not stinking rich, and was overweight. And once I got to know him, the Olympian with his gorgeous and extremely muscled body did not stand a chance.

Yeah, I was surprised nobody had mentioned this angle before. Three major relationships were all with very very heavy women, who all "left you" for other men. I think we are maybe seeing the trees rather than the forest here, what other qualities did these women have in common? What is going on with you that you pick women who use you? I think therapy would be great, it is so helpful to have a professional sounding board.

And from a fetish side - you mentioned that size never mattered to you. Maybe the guys these morbidly obese women left you for fetishized them, drugged them with that kind of attention. Just a thought.