I'm scared! Am I making the right decision?!?!

[LeahJade 26]

Hi everyone, Im 26 and I have been overweight for most of my life. My current weight is 98kg so I am on the lower end of the BMI scale. My surgery date has been book for the 17th of October but now I'm starting to have second thoughts because this is such a massive life changing decision. Is this right for me? Did I try hard enough? Everything else failed, will this work? Is this normal, I would like to hear from some recent sleevers please thanks Leah

[Ree 215]

I'm having bad anxiety thinking about it too. I am on my 5th month for NUT meetings and I have one more to go to in October, then I schedule my surgery date. I worry a lot about this because like you said it is not something to be taken lightly and it's a lifetime commitment. I have a very difficult time staying in control (even now when I'm seeing the NUT) and its not the portions I have a problem with, its the types of foods I am constantly craving. I can go days with having a craving and it just doesn't go away until I finally give in to it. I hate that I'm like that and I wish I wasn't. Like I said I am seeing a NUT and have been for 5 months now and in that time I only lost 10 pounds. I am my own worst enemy. I also worry a lot about the complications that can occurs after being sleeved. I just really hope I am making the right decision. Especially since I have days where every Fiber of my being screams out "no stop, don't do this". So that's scary to me.

[CassieWNY 100]

Ladies -

Only you can answer the ultimate question of whether this is right for you or not. Your surgeon can advise you on the risks of surgery. Weigh that factor heavily.

There is a plethora of information on this site about the trials and tribulations of pre-op and post-op weight loss. While I certainly Celebrate individuality, I see many threads of commonalities in the postings here. Meaning... there are other people just like you. Look for them. You may even want to contact them. Ask what you are really worried about....

I was sleeved in June of this year. So most of us June sleevers are about 3 months out or a bit less. 99% of us are past the physical issues related to surgery and now dealing with stalls and avoiding old habits again. I would suggest reading the June 2013 sleevers trail of messages where you will see the good bad and ugly as about 100 people went through this process.

In my humble opinion, the physical repercussions are relatively minor compared to the mental and emotional ones. Each of us has their our own set of challenges but there is a great deal of crossover.

Build a strong network of people close to you in real life and perhaps a few key supporters online that really "get it" and "get you".

This is not easy but either was being overweight with no hope in sight. 24+ years of just getting heavier, trying every diet, exercise plan, gaining after pregnancy - I am surprised I am still sane.

"Did I try hard enough?" That is the self-sabotage question of a lifetime. I asked myself that long enough and was becoming my own worst enemy. Finally, for me, I just said to myself - "The results are in and these people with sleeves are really doing it. I just don't want to live like this anymore and I don't want even more problems when I age." There is a posting about the Straw that Broke the Camels back here. I would suggest you read those postings. VERY compelling statements about what brought people to this point. I suspect you will see yourself in a variety of those postings.

"Did I try hard enough" can imply that this step is not a hard one. This process/journey is by no means easy. So I suspect when you're on the other side of surgery you will say "Damn right I have!!" Pat yourself on the back for figuring out that this is going to work for you and get ready to work with a tool that you have been looking for all of your life.

I wish you both the best of luck in your continued journey. Feel free to reach out to me privately too. The best is yet to come.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Cassie laid it out quite clearly.

I know you wanted to hear from recent sleevers of which I am not but when I considered your statement, "this is such a massive life changing decision" I asked myself, "What has changed in my life?"

Outside of all the positives: health improvements, energy increases, ease of buying clothes, etc., and the negative: occasional heartburn, the only real change that has occured is that I eat less. My stomach talks back to me now whereas before it just put up with whatever I shoved down there and complained later.

The social changes are insignificant to me. My friends understand or they are not my friends and no problem. I have lost no one through this, apparently my friends and relatives really loved me.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

You are only 26! And you are smart enough to know at your young age that things are going to go around and around in circles. the merry-go-round of dieting can have a disastrous effect on the body...

You have two options..continue in the path that brought you to this decision or jump in with both feet and end the misery that will come upon you... Down the road your health will suffer in some way and your self esteem will be damaged forever..

People who don't know you will see to that....I wish I had done this years ago and had not gotten so sick that it was the last recourse....

I look at this journey as giving my life back to me...If you have had enough of the abuses to your mind body and soul you will consider this a gift...A life long gift if you use it properly.....

I think your really smart to know now you need the help from the sleeve so that you will have a good, healthier and happier life in the future....

I think you are far ahead of some of us who waited until it was the last thing we could do because we tried it all....

All the best......

[LeahJade 26]

Thank you to everyone that replied, your suggestions, thoughts and encouragement is truly appreciated!! I know deep down this is right right decision and this forum is such a great way to connect with people going through the same journey.

[susantorlone 11]

Only you can decide if it is right for you. For me, I have a wonderful extended (in-law) family and they totally support me with my decision. I pray that my sister in laws family (hubby, his sister and niece) will make the decision to do it as well, but it is a personal choice that nobody should make you feel guilty for.

Do your research, talk to a few doctors, go to a support group meeting. Only you know what's best for you.

[RubberTrampRyan 22]

For a few weeks before my surgery I started having second thoughts. I was really scared, mostly of the surgical process itself. However, I'm 3 weeks post-op and really glad I went through it. Even though I still weigh 386lbs (started at 657lbs on 9/20/12), i no longer feel like "the fat guy". I know I'm gonna shed the weight and it won't define me anymore. I have a new found confidence and so much new energy!

[Chittick24 52]

I think only you can answer if sleeved life is right for you. Are you tired of gaining weight? Tired of feeling hungry all the time? Tired of people not really seeing u? Tired of always being tired? What do you picture the rest of your life being without this surgery? Those were the questions I asked myself 3+ years ago. Your life does change and food turns into an energy source not something to do of to fill a hole.. But you have to change your mind set. If your going to do it... Jump in whole heartedly!!!!!!

[A_ReNUDE_me 148]

This post really hit home to me.I am 5'3" and weigh 215, but u have Type 2 diabetes,High Blood Pressure and High Cholesterol. I take over 10 pills everyday and 5 injections. I am always tired and haven't felt good in over 15 years. I am starting to get doubts about did I really try hard enough to lose weight & change my poor habits. I know my medical team supports this because of all the co morbidities (my insurance company approved my surgery 1 business day) but I am scared of so many aspects of actually going through with this major lifestyle change. I'm scared of being sick all the time, constipated and really scared that I will lose too much weight and my body will go into anorexia. I know this is normal to feel fear,but I am just scared to death of going from being a fat, no so healthy person, to a skinny miserable person. It's really starting to get me a little down.

[gamergirl 4,609]

Ladies -

Only you can answer the ultimate question of whether this is right for you or not. Your surgeon can advise you on the risks of surgery. Weigh that factor heavily.

There is a plethora of information on this site about the trials and tribulations of pre-op and post-op weight loss. While I certainly Celebrate individuality' date=' I see many threads of commonalities in the postings here. Meaning... there are other people just like you. Look for them. You may even want to contact them. Ask what you are really worried about....

I was sleeved in June of this year. So most of us June sleevers are about 3 months out or a bit less. 99% of us are past the physical issues related to surgery and now dealing with stalls and avoiding old habits again. I would suggest reading the June 2013 sleevers trail of messages where you will see the good bad and ugly as about 100 people went through this process.

In my humble opinion, the physical repercussions are relatively minor compared to the mental and emotional ones. Each of us has their our own set of challenges but there is a great deal of crossover.

Build a strong network of people close to you in real life and perhaps a few key supporters online that really "get it" and "get you".

This is not easy but either was being overweight with no hope in sight. 24+ years of just getting heavier, trying every diet, exercise plan, gaining after pregnancy - I am surprised I am still sane.

"Did I try hard enough?" That is the self-sabotage question of a lifetime. I asked myself that long enough and was becoming my own worst enemy. Finally, for me, I just said to myself - "The results are in and these people with sleeves are really doing it. I just don't want to live like this anymore and I don't want even more problems when I age." There is a posting about the Straw that Broke the Camels back here. I would suggest you read those postings. VERY compelling statements about what brought people to this point. I suspect you will see yourself in a variety of those postings.

"Did I try hard enough" can imply that this step is not a hard one. This process/journey is by no means easy. So I suspect when you're on the other side of surgery you will say "Damn right I have!!" Pat yourself on the back for figuring out that this is going to work for you and get ready to work with a tool that you have been looking for all of your life.

I wish you both the best of luck in your continued journey. Feel free to reach out to me privately too. The best is yet to come.

[/quote']

AMAZING, amazing post. Thank you. Good reminders in there for all of us.

[EllijayFalconFan 54]

Leah,

Im 26 as well, well in a month I will be. I was just as worried as you are and had the same questions. I also have been overweight my entire life and was tired of it. On September 9th I got the sleeve and I am currently 7 days post op. I couldn't be happier, I have more energy then I have ever had and I've already lost 15 pounds. Will you have the same experience I have had? I don't know... but I do know that for me I had to make a change so I could enjoy the rest of my life. So far I feel like I have just made the best decision in my life.

[CassieWNY 100]

This post really hit home to me.I am 5'3" and weigh 215, but u have Type 2 diabetes,High Blood Pressure and High Cholesterol. I take over 10 pills everyday and 5 injections. I am always tired and haven't felt good in over 15 years. I am starting to get doubts about did I really try hard enough to lose weight & change my poor habits. I know my medical team supports this because of all the co morbidities (my insurance company approved my surgery 1 business day) but I am scared of so many aspects of actually going through with this major lifestyle change. I'm scared of being sick all the time, constipated and really scared that I will lose too much weight and my body will go into anorexia. I know this is normal to feel fear,but I am just scared to death of going from being a fat, no so healthy person, to a skinny miserable person. It's really starting to get me a little down.

This post highlights the fears so many of us have on the physical and emotional side of this journey. Your surgeon and his/her office should be able to assist you with the fears of surgery (especially those with other health complications). I do not have much data on the chances of becoming anorexic. Since anorexia is an eating disorder that is not about food - it is about someone's coping with emotional problems by losing weight/increasing exercise - I think the probability of developing that is extremely low. Saying that, it is very true that people replace some bad habits with others so it is important to consider the emotional consequences before undergoing this surgery.

I would encourage anyone who is considering this surgery or scheduled for surgery to ask upfront for information on coping with this new lifestyle and its challenges. That would include asking about all area support groups, online options, psychologists/counselors, mentors, etc. Putting a plan in place to assist you with this part of the journey - the emotional one - is a smart move.

If you have a good support network or can build one, I encourage that for after the surgery. As many of us are finding - this surgery does not take place in a vacuum - life goes on. People face challenges and dark times - many not anticipated - following this surgery and I recommend having a plan in place in case life hands you lemons. That being said - most people are not facing their biggest fears - loss of income, job, spouse, loved one. But life happens - so being prepared to face life after is critical.

Having doubts is normal and a very healthy way to approach this surgery. This process of critical thinking is a good one. If your gut instincts tell you this is not the right choice for you - then follow them. You know what is best for you.

We tend to focus a great deal on the weight loss and a little less on the positives that come with the weight loss. We Celebrate the pounds off - many of us with the assumption that people understand what less weight means.

I encourage people who are concerned about moving forward to dig through these postigs and see the results people are getting beyond the pounds. (Not to say that the reduction in pounds is not also fun to look at).

What have I seen by other posters -

MORE self esteem from achieving goals - fitting in the airplane seatbelt, onederland, shopping in the regular size department, having doors opened for you, getting a family portrait taken, finally able to stand looking at yourself in a mirror......

MORE energy - Many people remark that they finally "FEEL ALIVE" again.

COMPLETE recovery from co-morbidities, including Type 2 diabetes, high BP, sleep apnea to name a few

MORE active lives - from exercise to just being out of the house more

MORE happiness enjoying time with family and friends, getting rid of the self-hate, removing the guilt associated with their weight gain

Dig deep....the results are there beyond the pounds. Have a well thought out plan for emotional support if you go forward. Trust your instincts. Deciding not to go forward with this surgery now or ever may be in your best interests. This is not for everyone.

Either way - take good care of yourself.

[FRED1977 186]

Ladies -

Only you can answer the ultimate question of whether this is right for you or not. Your surgeon can advise you on the risks of surgery. Weigh that factor heavily.

There is a plethora of information on this site about the trials and tribulations of pre-op and post-op weight loss. While I certainly Celebrate individuality, I see many threads of commonalities in the postings here. Meaning... there are other people just like you. Look for them. You may even want to contact them. Ask what you are really worried about....

I was sleeved in June of this year. So most of us June sleevers are about 3 months out or a bit less. 99% of us are past the physical issues related to surgery and now dealing with stalls and avoiding old habits again. I would suggest reading the June 2013 sleevers trail of messages where you will see the good bad and ugly as about 100 people went through this process.

In my humble opinion, the physical repercussions are relatively minor compared to the mental and emotional ones. Each of us has their our own set of challenges but there is a great deal of crossover.

Build a strong network of people close to you in real life and perhaps a few key supporters online that really "get it" and "get you".

This is not easy but either was being overweight with no hope in sight. 24+ years of just getting heavier, trying every diet, exercise plan, gaining after pregnancy - I am surprised I am still sane.

"Did I try hard enough?" That is the self-sabotage question of a lifetime. I asked myself that long enough and was becoming my own worst enemy. Finally, for me, I just said to myself - "The results are in and these people with sleeves are really doing it. I just don't want to live like this anymore and I don't want even more problems when I age." There is a posting about the Straw that Broke the Camels back here. I would suggest you read those postings. VERY compelling statements about what brought people to this point. I suspect you will see yourself in a variety of those postings.

"Did I try hard enough" can imply that this step is not a hard one. This process/journey is by no means easy. So I suspect when you're on the other side of surgery you will say "Damn right I have!!" Pat yourself on the back for figuring out that this is going to work for you and get ready to work with a tool that you have been looking for all of your life.

I wish you both the best of luck in your continued journey. Feel free to reach out to me privately too. The best is yet to come.

This is the best advice I believe you could get. Very nice........

[CassieWNY 100]

This is the best advice I believe you could get. Very nice........

Awwww...Fred....soooo sweet. Very nice to say. I am so pleased that these posters are looking for answers to the hard questions. Makes it much more easier after the surgery when you have this sorted out!