Live support groups vs. virtual support groups

[disneyteach 68]

I was going to blog about this on my blog: disfloridian.blogspot.com . I decided to post my feelings here, too. I was giving a speech this morning to about 50-70 people on my sleeve experience. One of the speakers was a lady, who was very pushy about her views on her experience. She felt that everyone should go to a live support group meeting. I disagree, but I will never disagree with anyone in front of an audience. In my view, I believe that a virtual support group like VST is actual better than a live support group. Here are the reasons why:

1. In a live support group, there are some people, who think they know everything and can't wait to make everything into a) a story about themselves, a better story than yours or c) flood you with an hour long talk of advice and they are 3 weeks post-op or even 3 years. This type of approach unmotivates many people.

2. Some people talk way toooooooo long or has a really lonnnnnng sob story. In a forum, like VST or YouTube, you can skip to the next post, stop the video or move on to someone's else. I'm a live support group, you have to sit and listen. I have looked around and many other people are unmotivated.

3. In a virtual forum, like VST, you can find people like you to help guide you through and support you. I found teachers and men were very relatable to me. I am not saying I did not value others, but those groups made me feel it s ok to have this surgery. The best supporters I had we're 50 year old women on VST, but they were encouraging and very supportive.

I am not saying a virtual forum is better than a live support group. In the same breath, do not feel that a live support group is needed. Actually, I found mine unmotivating. Do what makes you happy and comfortable. I love motivating people and being motivated through VST, MyFitnessPal & Fitbit. We each comment how awesome each of us are doing. You are going to do awesome!

[OKSleever 144]

I was going to blog about this on my blog: disfloridian.blogspot.com . I decided to post my feelings here' date=' too. I was giving a speech this morning to about 50-70 people on my sleeve experience. One of the speakers was a lady, who was very pushy about her views on her experience. She felt that everyone should go to a live support group meeting. I disagree, but I will never disagree with anyone in front of an audience. In my view, I believe that a virtual support group like VST is actual better than a live support group. Here are the reasons why:

1. In a live support group, there are some people, who think they know everything and can't wait to make everything into a) a story about themselves, a better story than yours or c) flood you with an hour long talk of advice and they are 3 weeks post-op or even 3 years. This type of approach unmotivates many people.

2. Some people talk way toooooooo long or has a really lonnnnnng sob story. In a forum, like VST or YouTube, you can skip to the next post, stop the video or move on to someone's else. I'm a live support group, you have to sit and listen. I have looked around and many other people are unmotivated.

3. In a virtual forum, like VST, you can find people like you to help guide you through and support you. I found teachers and men were very relatable to me. I am not saying I did not value others, but those groups made me feel it s ok to have this surgery. The best supporters I had we're 50 year old women on VST, but they were encouraging and very supportive.

I am not saying a virtual forum is better than a live support group. In the same breath, do not feel that a live support group is needed. Actually, I found mine unmotivating. Do what makes you happy and comfortable. I love motivating people and being motivated through VST, MyFitnessPal & Fitbit. We each comment how awesome each of us are doing. You are going to do awesome!

[/quote']

I agree. I went to my live support group this week for the first time after several months of skipping out (mostly out of guilt). It was a solid reminder of why I don't go. The same people craving the same applause and attention for their weight loss every single week. It's just plain rude if you ask me to monopolize the discussion at a support group. Maybe other groups are different with a stronger leader, but mine will never work as well for me as my online support!

[Truckerchic_M 92]

I think both have their advantages, some people are more social than others and find the live contact far more helpful, making that human connection, pat on the hand, look of understanding, smiles of encouragement all that you cant get from a computer screen. But on the other hand some people dont need that or are not able to get to live meetings such as myself. Being a truck driver I cant make a live support group but the support online is always there when I need it.

So I think there is a need for having the option of both!

[Momonanomo 534]

Disneyteach, I completely, totally, and wholeheartedly agree with everything you said!

On top of that, for me personally, I live on an island & the small town environment would mean no privacy. I can be much more candid here on VST.

[Arts137 1,811]

I can't get to a live group (I am in bed when they start). After reading this thread, I am glad!

[Macy6 356]

I go to a weight loss support group monthly and regularly visit VST. I agree there are clearly defined differences. I appreciate my monthly meetings because they have a different speaker or lesson every month; anything from Vitamins to an exercise physiologist, the psychiatrist came in and talked about the mental part of weight loss. I also appreciate VST for the different people, the different views and all of the information in one space.

[disneyteach 68]

I go to a weight loss support group monthly and regularly visit VST. I agree there are clearly defined differences. I appreciate my monthly meetings because they have a different speaker or lesson every month; anything from Vitamins to an exercise physiologist, the psychiatrist came in and talked about the mental part of weight loss. I also appreciate VST for the different people, the different views and all of the information in one space.

I think you bring up a great point. Your live support group has an EXPERT come in and talk. All of you probably ask questions and the EXPERT responds. Whereas, in the support group I attended, an expert came every so often, but even when a question was asked to the EXPERT, you have some people who feel they are an expert to answer. Most of the group meetings had a psychologist, who allowed for an open floor discussion. So when a person asks a question like "How do I stop dumping?" You have a) a person opinionated on how they stopped it (perfect!), a self-proclaimed expert, who has lost 90 pounds and knows everything (your body might be different from theirs. They talk for like an hour about how they stopped dumping and no one else has time to speak.) or c) a person who turns your dumping question into a story about how they were a little child and their mother gave them a piece of chocolate...(It is like Rose from the Golden Girls)...you get the point! The way your support group is ran sounds more supportive than people who need self-healing. Keep your support group that way!

I think my bigger point is that live support groups should never be forced upon anyone. It was mandatory that I attended one session. I attended three and I probably would not have had the surgery, but then I found VST and it helped me be 130 pounds lighter today!

[disneyteach 68]

I think both have their advantages, some people are more social than others and find the live contact far more helpful, making that human connection, pat on the hand, look of understanding, smiles of encouragement all that you cant get from a computer screen. But on the other hand some people dont need that or are not able to get to live meetings such as myself. Being a truck driver I cant make a live support group but the support online is always there when I need it.

So I think there is a need for having the option of both!

Truckerchic, please the next time you are in Illinois and we have a support group meeting. Will you please come with me? There is a retired trucker that sat next to me twice and talked my ear off about his surgery. I would love to introduce you. I am just kidding. Please don't take that serious. I do see where you are coming from, but I feel that live support meetings should not be forced on anyone. Virtual can be all the support you need.

[Truckerchic_M 92]

Truckerchic' date=' please the next time you are in Illinois and we have a support group meeting. Will you please come with me? There is a retired trucker that sat next to me twice and talked my ear off about his surgery. I would love to introduce you. I am just kidding. Please don't take that serious. I do see where you are coming from, but I feel that live support meetings should not be forced on anyone. Virtual can be all the support you need.[/quote']

Lmao yes we truckers are known to be talkers, something about sitting in a truck 24/7 alone ..thank god for smart phones and internet!!

I had to go to 2 meetings for my program but they gave me a list of live and online support groups that would satisfy this requirement...so I agree with you it should not be forced you should have the option to get the support that works for you....see im chatty too!